When destiny is driven by a proposal.

Chapter 4 – Michael's story

Michael’s POV

I came to Namibia, on assignment to run a venture where the company aimed to expand its presence in Africa – more particularly in Namibia. The company focused on transforming collapsing firms into lucrative ones, and we identified several potential targets in this country. The past week was filled with negotiations and discussions with various organizations, hoping to seal some deals. It was a win-win situation for both sides: the struggling corporations would get a fair value, and our company would boost its bottom line. But it was not a straightforward job, the duration of these negotiations usually took months, back and forth till the company that we are invested in agrees to the terms stated.

I was taught from a young age to be resilient. I am a go-getter, and very focused and driven. A quality penetrated in me by my grandfather, as I was groomed for this. He was the father figure that was missing in my life. I owe the man I am today to him, as the qualities that I possess are compliments of him.

The entry of my grandfather in my life was at a time when I required a mentor. He was a wise gentleman, a millionaire in the office, during the week, and a ranch owner on weekends. He balanced both perfectly. He was the best at everything, always wondered how he did it. I wanted to be just like him when I was older. He was direct and to the point, didn’t sugar coat anything. He always said that I should be courageous, a characteristic I have held on to till this day. He drove me hard, but it was only later in my years that I realized that he was preparing me for a greater purpose – life. That earned my respect.

I was sent to live with my grandparents around the age of 10. A tough and confusing time in my life when a single blunder altered my life course drastically. I had to adjust to my new home and to the entire situation. My mother seemed to ignore my very existence. She was coping with her own grieving process, and buried herself in her work to try to escape the sorrow that she was experiencing. My grandmother was invaluable. She showered me with love, not too consuming but just right. She was soft-spoken, and I treasured our times together. She was the mother that I looked for, a task my own failed at. She brought the stability of the tough love brought upon by my grandfather, with that more soothing effect that I craved for.

We lived in New York during the week, but most weekends it was on the farm. My grandfather owned a cattle ranch. That was the fun part, as I loved riding the horses.

I felt free, racing against the wind on my face, being in the sun most of the time. I wanted to be independent, even enjoyed the hard labor - it meant that I was adding value, plus I knew the ranch would belong to me in the long run. Riding in the hills allowed me time to think, scream and to pray – something that I was shown by my grandmother. My private universe, no one else dare enter. Grandma always fretted over the redness of my skin, but I didn’t mind it. I felt like it gave me a radiant look. A glow that came in handy in my later years as a grown up.

Despite having everything at my disposal – money, fame, and power, something in me was still lacking. Something I just couldn’t pinpoint. I faced a massive duty as the successor of a legacy, big shoes that needed to be filled, but grandpa had a devious ultimatum. I could not sit on the throne without a wife. It wasn’t the fact that I could not find someone myself. According to everyone, she had to be of a certain caliber and from a reputable family. The pressure upon me was enormous. The responsibility on my shoulders was unthinkable, this is what I was born for, trained for, but I was required to change – a lot.

My younger days were filled with wild parties, a lot of alcohol, several women, and a lot of fun. The ranch would be exchanged with the night-life of New York City. It was my time to let go and do what made me happy, that is what I thought at least. In a city that never sleeps, I was the life of the party wherever I was. I didn’t want anything to change. Back then, nothing else mattered. I was enjoying every second of my being - with a number of mistakes along the way.

Things eventually did change in my early thirties. The woman who left me behind resumed her position in my life, the one who for years had forgotten about me – my mother. After so many years, I just did not know how to deal with her, it was the most uncomfortable era that I have ever had to go through. How does anyone fix a broken relationship after all that happened? How do we fill the void that was missing for so long? Back then, I was on a dubious path, and she believed she could straighten me out – of which she did, she scared the living daylight out of me – to this day.

She was literally my grandpa on steroids, she was second in charge at the company and her focus was on the success of the organization and making my life a living hell. As grandpa aged, she nudged me to learn the ropes of the business. I knew and understood the role I would play in the company – the future leader of the empire. My mother showed up without any affection or compassion. What happened to her, what made her so cold towards me? She was a tyrant who dictated every aspect of my existence. She chose my partners, reorganized my home, and had an imprint on my lifestyle. I have always felt like a puppet in her hands.

She picked Eva for me, as she was marriage material for me – according to her. She was a childhood friend and a board member’s daughter. Her father and grandpa were friends.

She was one of the prettiest woman I have ever met, different from the single's I partied with. We did everything together and had several qualities in common. The choice was on point – in the beginning at least. Eva, a total blond bombshell, every inch of her is well taken care of, that could make her a model in Milan or any runway for that matter – she would fit right in. She graduated top of her class at Yale, a business major. But she never pursued a career in the family business. She carved her own destiny, had her own idea - a business owner in make-up and perfume. She always wears the most elegant clothes. We have been dating for the past two years, and have made headlines in the glossy magazines. An image she was hell bound to maintain for us, but being in the public eye has never been my scene. I try my utmost to shy away from it.

In the eyes of the world, we are a perfect match – a power couple, but I no longer feel a spark between us anymore. Something is missing. It's as if I constantly need to keep up appearances, a part that has drained me.

We had a huge fight before I left – the same old issue that I dreaded, when the announcement of our engagement would take place. If it was up to her, we would already be walking down the aisle.

I was relieved to have this trip to Namibia. I needed a break from that suffocating atmosphere. With both Eva and my mother, no amount of space is enough for all of us.

It is evident a problem exists in this relationship with Eva. Eva changed; she is a totally different person from when we were younger. She is now shaped by the expectations of our status.

Regarding my mother, truth be told, my mother and I share a pain so profound it is unthinkable. I have tried to conceal it so deeply, but at times when she looks at me, it reminds her of that fateful day. We have bared a secret, buried down in the core of the earth, and hopefully we never have to ever dig it up again. But I do imagine how things could've turned out, if my father was still around, how different my upbringing would’ve been.

It took a lot of courage to ask April for the tour with the hopes that she would be joining me on the trip - I knew no one else. I wanted to see Namibia. I desperately needed a change of scenery, cabin fever was starting to set in.

I felt intrigued by April and hoped to hear more of her stories. It looked like she needed a break, it probably was not easy being a single mother and working all the time. I enjoyed our talk during her off time. She was so pure, but totally honest, but she was a bit reserved – who can blame her, she did not know me from a bar of soap.

I have to make it worth her while. I am up for the adventure and curious about where the open roads take us.