BENEATH THE MASK

Lost Control

The weight of everything Was crashing down on me. Marcelo's confession, Ethan's withdrawal, the looming threats to the empire -it all felt like too much.

For days, I had been trying to juggle it all, to keep my focus, to maintain control. But the truth was, I was slipping. I could feel it in my breath, every beat of my heart.

It wasn't Marcelo or Ethan. It was everything. The pressure, the expectations, the constant need to be strong, to be Alex, the heir to the empire I wasn't even sure I wanted anymore.

And I needed to stop feeling it. I needed to stop thinking.

As I walked through the halls of the Mansion, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts at once, I knew where I was headed. I knew what I was about to do.

I had fought this for so long ever since Ethan had entered my life, ever since he had made me feel like I could be something more than the sum of broken pieces. But now, with him pulling away, with Marcelo pushing closer, I couldn't fight it anymore.

I needed to escape. Just for a little while.

I slipped into my room, the door closing softly behind me, and made my way to the hidden drawer in the corner of the closet. My fingers trembled as I pulled it open, revealing the small vial I had kept hidden for so long. It was a secret I hadn't shared with anyone, something I had buried deep inside myself, just like everything else.

I had grown up on this stuff-fed it like candy to keep me sharp, to keep me on edge. But over time, I had learned to, when the world felt like it was closing in on me.

And right now, the world was suffocating me.

I stared at the vial for a moment, my heart pounding in my chest. I knew what this meant. I knew I was slipping, giving in to something I had fought so hard to escape. But at the same time, I didn't care. I didn't want to feel the guilt, the confusion, the pain anymore.

I just wanted to stop overthinking. With a deep breath, I uncapped the vial, taking a small dose- just enough to take the edge off. I had always been able to control it, to use it without letting it consume me.

And right now, control was what I needed more than anything.

As the drug hit my system, the world around me seemed to slow down, the noise in my head quitting to a soft hum. The tightness in my chest loosened, and for the first time in days, I could breathe.

I couldn't overthink. I was in control again.

The frantic spiral of thoughts that had been swirling around me faded into the background, replaced by a sense of calm that I hadn't felt in so long. It wasn't overpowering, wasn't overwhelming -it was just enough to make everything stop.

And that's when I knew what I had to do.

I couldn't let things fall apart with Ethan. Not yet. Not when I still had a chance to show him that I cared, that I was still there, even if I couldn't share everything with him. Even when I couldn't tell him the truth.

I needed to remind him that I was still his, even if I couldn't give him all of me. I left the room, the calmness in my mind steadying my steps, and found Ethan in the hallway.

He looked up as I approached, the tension in his expression softening slightly when he saw me. "Alex," he said, his voice low, the frustration still lingering in his tone. "What is it?"

I didn't say anything at first, instead, I closed the distance between us, my hands gently reaching for his, my fingers curling around his wrists.

The touch was soft, but it was enough to make him pause, his breath hitched in his throat. "I am sorry," I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper. "I've been pushing you away

I didn't mean to."

Ethan's eyes searched mine and for a moment, the tension between us seemed to melt away, replaced by something softer, something more fragile.

"It's just...... there's so much going on," I continued, my voice trembling slightly. "But I don't want to lose you."

He didn't respond right away, his gaze locked on mine as if he were trying to figure out what was happening, what had changed. But I could see the struggle in his eyes, the way he was fighting the distance that had grown between us.

"You're not going to lose me," he said quietly, his voice filled with a quiet intensity. I smiled softly, leaning in closer, my lips brushing against his ear as I whispered, "Let me show you."

Without waiting for a response, I kissed him, my hands sliding up his chest, pulling him closer. The kiss was slow, deep, filled with all the emotions I had been holding back for so long. It was my way of showing him that I was still here, that I still cared, even if I couldn't give him all of me.

Ethan responded immediately, his arms wrapping around me, pulling me tighter against him. There was a hunger in his touch, a need that mirrored my own, and for a moment, everything else faded away. The world, the chaos, the doubts -it all disappeared.

It was just me and Ethan.

We stumbled towards my room, our hands never leaving each other, the intensity between us building with every step. I could feel the heat rising, the way his touch sent shivers down my spine, but I kept my focus. I was in control. I had to be.

As we reached the bed, I gently pushed him down, straddling him with my hands trailing over his chest. His breath raged, his eyes dark with desire as he looked up at me, but there was something deeper in his eyes.

I leaned down, kissing him again slowly and deliberately, my hands moving over his body, satisfying his every need but never letting him in.

"Touch me please....," Ethan whimpered arching closer to me. I smirked and did as he told me, as I laid my hands on his pants. I froze, still clothes, but the dude was so big. Ethan saw this and smirked, " Like what you see?" He asked with a deep, raspy voice.

I gulped, masked my nervousness, and moved my hands without warning him, and he flinched; I was satisfied with the reaction.

I started moving my hands, slowly until he demanded a speed.

For sure, I didn't know what I was doing, but he looked to be enjoying it.

"Please," He begged, and with that, I removed his pants and revealed his giant; he was so big, vanity, and he was dripping. I gulped and touched him with my shaky hands.

I moved my hands, and he threw his head back on the pillow; he was shaking with closed eyes.

"Look at me," I demanded; he looked at me, and I saw a small tear slip from his eyes. "Faster..'' He said.

And I knew he was close, his pre-c*m was dripping so hard. Within a minute, he came around with a strong shiver and rolled eyes; he looked funny and cute at the same time.

I kept on teasing him until he couldn't take it anymore. "Please, Alex .. stop." He begged with a small giggle.

I smiled and let him go; I got up and went to the bathroom and came back with a wet towel. I cleaned him, and he looked at me with soft eyes and grabbed my hands to pull me close; he wanted to help, too.

I shook my head, " Today, it's not about me; it's you, love." I kissed him again.

"How long have you taken without touching yourself self?" Because dude, that was champagne caffe right there.

"Why..? " He asked his face going deep red.

"Well, this shows how much you have been keeping it inside," I said pointing to his messy stomach.

He didn't answer and wanted to get up but I held him back. I stood up and finished cleaning him before taking the towel back to the bathroom. I came back and gave him his clothes, he was shy and that made him look cuter.

After putting on his boxers, he looked at my thighs; he wanted to help, so I stood up and went for my nightgown. The drug had dulled my mind just to keep me from overthinking. But now I was getting dizzy.

As the night wore on, we lay there together, the silence between us no longer filled with tension, but with something quieter, something more fragile. Ethan's arm was wrapped around me, his breathing steady as he held me close, but I couldn't relax. Not completely.

Because deep down, I knew this wasn't sustainable. I couldn't keep pretending, I could keep hiding behind the control the drug gave me. Sooner or later, I'd have to face it. But for now, I couldn't keep the calm. I could keep the control.

And that was enough. For now.