Rise Up

CHAPTER NINE

            Despite the problem my sister brought this morning, I still decided to work. My mom is really a pain in the ass. She is already married for 24 years but she acts like a single lady. My mom works at a pub where she serves men to the point of serving them with her body. We grew up with a mom like that; all we have is our supportive and loving father.

            I was back in reality when I felt my phone vibrated.

“What is wrong with you?” Cara sounds furious. Oh right, she called me many times but she got no response from me.

“What is it? I just saw the call this morning.” I entered our office door, did I arrived early? Where is everybody?

“I called you because Venice called me. Looks like you didn’t go home last night. Where did you go?” Okay, what should I tell her? Will I say that I didn’t go home last night because I slept in his cousin’s house? That doesn’t sound good. I was about to answer when I heard a thud on the other line. Is Cara fine?

“What are you doing here? Get out! How dare you show your face…” I dropped the call. Looks like her so called enemy barged in her office. It’s a good thing for me; I don’t have to answer her question.

I was in the middle of typing the minutes my supervisor assigned to me when my phone vibrated again. My phone is busier than the owner I guess.

“What?” I answered but still continued what I am doing

“Ricci called, mom is shouting demanding for money. I don’t think Ricci can handle mom, even dad. What should I do? We can’t continuously give her money; she is just wasting it while you work hard to have it.” I sighed and stopped typing.

She’s right the reason why I have to work hard and do many part-time jobs is for me and my sibling’s study but all of my savings always end up with her just to stop her from making scene. Every time she do that I can see my dad being hurt and I don’t want to see him like that, that’s why I ended up giving her demands. After receiving money she will suddenly disappear and reappear again if she has no money anymore and her men can’t support her materialistic side.

“Just give her the money. Go into my room and you will see the painting hanged in the wall. Look at its back, you will see an envelope there. Give her all of that.” I said

“Chai!” I can sense disagreement from her.  I ended the call, I tried to concentrate to my assignment

“Let’s call it a day.” I finished all my workloads today. My supervisor called to go home and I joined them this time. I’m so tired, mentally and physically. I’m thinking of my dad and my good-for-nothing mom. While at the elevator, I texted Cara saying that mom went home and asking for money again. In the end I assured her that there are no more problems.

“Good bye Chai, take care everyone okay?” She said before she went to the parking area. We also bid our goodbye to each other.

            Maybe Venice is already home and handed the money to mom. It’s time for me to call her.

“Who is this.” She answered the call but she doesn’t who is calling. She didn’t even save my number to her contacts.

“It’s me, mom.” I keep on walking

“Oh, my first born. Thank you for the money, now I have cash to buy those stilettos in the mall.” She laughed and I sighed

“Don’t worry, those stilettos are a need.” I scoffed, need for what? Need to seduce dirty old men

“Will you stop now mom. If you don’t want us, your family, then do not step your foot in the house.” I boldly said to her. I’ve wanted to have a mom but I don’t want someone like her. I know I have no right to say those that no matter what she is my mom but I can’t top thinking of those days when I saw her at a restaurant with an old hag. She’s laughing, not minding that her son is sick, that Ricci is sick and almost dying. Good thing, dad did everything he could to save him to produce money just so we can put him in the hospital and be treated.

“Oh don’t say that Chai. I’m still your mother.” She is talking as if she doesn’t even care. It’s as if she being forced to say that.

“Next time you need money, go directly to me. Don’t even show your face to my dad. I don’t want to see him hurting.” I ended the call

            I am mad at her, I hate her. I composed myself and went straight to the convenience store to work again. I need money.

18 years ago,

“Chai, I’m home” I looked at dad and at his hand. He is waving my favourite food in his hands. I immediately ran to him and hugged him.

“Eat this with your sister and brother okay?” He said, I took the bread and ran towards my siblings. Venice is 4 years old that time and Ricci is 3. I played with them until they got tired and fall asleep. I went outside the room as I was walking and I can hear my dad taking.

“Where are you going? It’s already near midnight. You should stay home.” I went near them. My mom is facing the mirror, she keeps on dabbing things on her face.

“I’m going to work.” She plainly said

“Work? What work? In the bar? You will sell your soul again to those… to those men. Carina, you are a married woman already pus you have kids. Are you not ashamed of yourself?” My dad’s voice rise a little.

“Yes, I will keep on returning on that job. I will keep on working there because that is the only place where I can feel satisfied and happy. I’m not there to sell my soul but to feel the pleasure for myself.” She stood up.

“Am I not enough? Are the children not enough to be your satisfaction? Your reason to be happy?” as I kid I was confused of what they are talking about but I know that there is something big happening between them

            Since then, I can only see my mother once in a week then it became once in a month.

“Mom?” I’m from school, it was already dark.

We just finished preparing the stage for our tomorrow’s event when I saw my mom in the bar in my usual route. A guy grabbed her waist and kissed her. The guy has a very bulky stomach; I can’t even see his neck. He looks so old. She is wearing a fit crop top and a very short denim shorts. Yes, my mom is sexy. It’s as if she didn’t deliver three children, she is also beautiful but sadly she wants to share her body with other men.

I remembered the conversation I overheard before. That she feels satisfaction? Pleasure? In working in this place? Those are just excuses for her to catch young or old man who can give her material things that my father can’t give.

            I decided to not care about my mother when Ricci got sick, he was just 10years old back then. His fever is high and can’t stop throwing up. We called our mom but he just said that he will be okay after a day, but it’s already three days. My dad worked hard and borrowed money from neighbors so we can admit Ricci to the hospital. Even when we are at the hospital he never visited us. When Ricci got okay and was discharged, we saw her sitting at the bamboo chair waiting for us to demand money. Imagine we just used our money to save Ricci, of course we have nothing money to give to her. She started to throw things and she kept on shouting at my dad being worthless and good-for-nothing. She doesn’t know what she is talking about. I looked at dad, his eyes were full of guilt and sadness. I can’t even see hate from him.

I shook my mind off those painful memories with my mom.