Defying Our Fate

CHAPTER 6- REGRETS

“Time to wake up, Freya!”, Amanda yelled, pulling the curtains open so that the sunlight filled the room. I rolled over and sunk my face into my pillow. “Go away”, I groaned, I felt like I hadn’t even slept and my limbs were all aching. “Nope, you need to wake up and tell me what happened last night; I’m not leaving until you do”, she laughed, throwing herself down next to me. The bed bounced, making me feel nauseous, “Okay, okay, just stop moving.” After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and rolled over to face her, “What do you want to know?”

“Everyone’s been talking about how you nearly died last night but that Alexander saved you, is it true?”

“Yes, it’s true. It’s all true, why?”

“He’s so dreamy, dude. I’m jealous that it wasn’t me that he saved. When my parents told me that he was going to be my future mate, I was a bit upset because he comes across as such an ass, but him saving you proves that he’s actually a decent guy. I can’t wait to turn twenty”, she swooned. It made me a little jealous that she was going to be his mate, be the one to carry his pups and be his wife. I didn’t know why, but just the thought of him with any other she-wolf made me feel sick to my stomach; my blood boil. 

Amanda talked for over ten minutes, not giving me a chance to say anything. She went on and on about her plans for their wedding and how she was going to be the Luna of his pack and a great one at that. By the time she was done, I was ready to rip my eardrums out of my head. “Hey, Amanda. Do you think you could get someone to bring me some food? I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday.”

“Of course, I’ll go and see what Mary is making for breakfast and get her to bring you some”, she smiled, getting up from the bed. “Thanks. Just tell her to leave it on the desk if I’m not in bed; I’m in desperate need of a shower.”

She laughed and went to the door, said, “Yeah, good idea”, then left. Thank the goddess I had a good excuse to get rid of her. I pulled myself out of bed and went to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror was probably the worst thing I could’ve done; my cheeks were both covered in purple bruises and my neck was a mix of black, blues and purples; I looked horrible. Taking my clothes off was like an Easter egg hunt, revealing more bruises, and cuts that looked weeks old. “Sorry, I focussed mostly on the cuts and internal bleeding. Unfortunately, the bruises will take at least another day for me to fix”, the wolf said.

“That’s alright, I guess it’s better than nothing”, I said back. “You know, you’ve done an awful lot for me and I don’t even know your name. Do you even have a name?”, I asked curiously. “I’m your wolf, a part of you; If I had let you die, then I’d be dead too, so, of course I would help you heal faster. And yes, I have a name, it’s Harlow.” She sounded annoyed, like I’d insulted her. “It’s nice to meet you, Harlow.”

I stepped into the shower and let the water run over me, it felt amazing. I scrubbed every inch of my body and washed my hair with my favourite mango and apple shampoo. Once I was done, I finally felt normal again, not like the zombie that I woke up as. I carefully dried myself, making sure to avoid pressing on the darkest bruises too hard. I threw on a pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt, then headed back to my room. Mary had already been and left a plate of pancakes with maple syrup for me. I scoffed them down quickly, still feeling hungry afterwards; I’d just have to wait until lunch. 

I crawled back into my bed, wrapping myself up in the blankets, then switched on the television. There wasn’t much to watch so I decided to put the vampire diaries on and see how many episodes I could get through while I was on mandatory bed rest. I was up to season five, the part where Bonnie had just come back as the anchor to the other side, when there was a knock on my door. “Come in!”, I yelled. The door opened a crack and my mum stuck her head in, “Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?”

“I feel good, mum. What’s up?”

“Do you think you’re up for a visitor?”, she asked, raising an eyebrow. “I guess so. Who is it?”

She pushed the door open fully and then walked away; she was acting really strange lately. A couple seconds later, Alexander came through the door, that stupid grin on his face, “Hey, Freya.” I rolled my eyes at his smugness.

 He had a tight white T-shirt on and a pair of faded blue jeans, he looked like he’d purposefully dressed like this to tease me. He raised an eyebrow at me as my eyes made their way to his face, “Hey”, I whispered. I cleared my throat quickly, “What are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Yeah, I thought I should come and check that you were okay, since I was the one that found you.”

“Well, I’m fine now. Harlow healed me last night and she’s focusing on getting rid of these monstrosities”, I said as I lifted my shirt to show him the bruises. His eyes turned dark immediately and he took a step towards the bed, “Who’s Harlow?”, he growled. “She’s my wolf, why?” I didn’t understand why his demeanour changed so suddenly.

He straightened his back and his eyes returned to normal, “Oh, okay, that’s good then.”

“Is there a problem with that?”, I asked, trying to figure out his behaviour.

“No, not at all; I just didn’t know you had shifted already. I thought you were talking about your future husband or something.”

“I haven’t shifted. She connected with me yesterday after school and decided to help heal me since I probably would’ve died if she hadn’t, and besides, why would it matter if it was someone else that helped me?” I crossed my arms and turned back to the TV trying to forget that he wasn’t there. I couldn’t believe that he thought a man had helped heal me; that he’d be angry if they had. Why did it matter to him, he already had his future mate?

He walked over and sat down next to me in the bed, pulling the blankets over his legs, “I’m sorry, Freya. I didn’t mean to upset you; I just don’t like the idea of another man touching you. I don’t know why; I just feel connected to you.” I looked at him, “I have a future mate, Alex; at some point in my future I’m going to be touched by another man, be married to him and have his pups. You can’t like me like that, it would ruin our families.”

“I know”, he said, reaching out and taking my hand in his, “But I can’t help what I feel, Freya.”

I knew exactly how he felt, because I felt the same; like the future my parents had already planned for me wasn’t the one I was meant to have. The feeling that I got when I was with Alexander was like nothing I’d ever felt before; it was like I was finally home, finally complete. But we couldn’t be together; Amanda was already promised to Alexander and I was already promised to Michael. Our packs would disown us if we didn’t follow the path that was laid out for us as children. Images of Alexander and Amanda together played in front of my eyes, and I felt the small fissures forming in my heart at those thoughts; threatening to tear it into a million pieces. 

“Why did you save me, Alex? You should’ve let that guy kill me”, I blurted out, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.

“What are you talking about, Freya? Do you really think, after what I just said, that I could’ve stood there and watched him hurt you, could’ve walked away and pretended that I didn’t see anything? You clearly don’t know me very well.”