The Lost Tudor Rose

Chapter II - December 19, 1555 (Katheryn)

"Have you any news?" I ask the guards eagerly. The caption comes forth sighing.

"We can't give you any information in regards to the search for the Lost Tudor Rose. Our orders are to report anything to the king and the king only." Says John de Vere, 13th Earl of Oxford, the leader of the Yeomen of the Guard.

"First of all, she has a name. It's Angie. Second of all, I'M HER MOTHER! CAN'T YOU SEE HOW THIS- THIS UNCERTAINTY IS TORTURING ME?!" I yell breathing angrily.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. These orders were given by your son, the king." He says. My breathing grows angrier.

"Very well, you may go then, since you refuse to tell me anything, even though you see how unhappy and miserable this makes me." I order harshly. I walk away from them towards the window and bury my face in my hands.

"Your Majesty." They say bowing. They then leave me.

I collapse sobbing on to floor with fear, clutching my daughter's baby bonnet against my empty womb like it's my life line. I knew I was going to have multiple children, but I got scared, so I didn't say anything. I only thought I had failed because I thought that I was going to have children of the same gender. And I was half right.

I failed her! I can't even bring myself to accept it. I'm so... afraid. I'll never see my little babe again. I'll never see her again. It's all my fault.

I stay like that for what feels like hours until I hear footsteps approaching me. "I thought I told you to leave me." The doors swing open.

"Mum?" My son, Nicholas, says walking in. He sees me on the floor and wraps me up in his embrace. "It's okay. We'll find her." I continue sobbing.

"I am so sorry, my boy. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the mother you and Joy deserve. Maybe I could've protected her, and then I wouldn't have been so absent in your lives. I can only hope that you know that love you, my son. So, so much." I say.

Ever since I lost my baby girl, I was driven mad with paranoia. I refused my children to be allowed at court except on special occasions, like birthdays and Christmas, and even then they wouldn't be allowed to be without a guard or two... thousand.

I shakily breathe gripping tighter onto the velvet cloth on my boy. "I just- I couldn't go through that loss again. I can't! I can't!" He hugs me tighter.

"What?" He asks looking at my head. "Mama, don't say that. You were trying to protect us. You did it out of love. I know it, Jo knows it, everyone in this kingdom knows it. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Not for a while if I can help it."

"What did I ever do to deserve you three?" I ask.

I wasn't exactly the most holy person in my time with the Dowager Duchess of Norfolk. While not all of it was my fault, let's just say that I wasn't exactly a virgin when I went to the marriage bed.

"I guess we'll never know." He says. I laugh and pull him in. At least I have my baby boy and Joy with me now. I look at my beautiful boy.

"You children the only pure things in my inglorious life. And throughout your lives I neglected the two of you, since you were small and I wanted so much to be good enough for you. For all of you. But now I am so proud of you three. Fiercely proud. You're also clever, and although you were like me in so many ways you have so many of your fathers traits." I say. I know it's true for all my children.

"You must be proud of yourself too, Niki." He chuckles and hugs me.

"I know you're scared. I am too. But we're going to find her." He says.

"I don't know. I just don't know!" I sob scared.

"Shh. Shh." He soothes. He soon leaves me and shuts the door.

“Guards, if you find any information on my sister, report it directly to me and my mother.”

“But Your Majesty, you have told us—”John de Vere says.

“I KNOW WHAT I SAID! Just find her and report back!” Nick yells. I hear men running.

They’ll find her. They have too.