Whole Again

The Innocence of Children - Jennifer

What a morning! You’d think someone spiked the water or the juice because the little ones have been bouncing off the walls. I must admit, it’s been a nice distraction though. I don’t want to think about what happened yesterday, and it’s eating at me to feel how horrible Landry feels about it. Landry tends to carry everyone’s guilt and his own. Goddess Morrtemis herself could show up and grant him eternal forgiveness and he still probably wouldn’t forgive himself and it saddens me greatly.

“We could try recommending he visit Beta Eric again. I’m no clinical expert, but even I can tell our Lan is dealing with some trauma thanks to his jerk of a father’s emotional a***e and neglect,” Beatrix says heartbrokenly.

Bee is a tough cookie, far tougher than I, but even she has her sweet side. I know she loves and cares for Landry as much as I do. She’s always the one giving him a firm push, which I don’t always agree with. I don’t like being forceful with him or anyone – probably why I prefer dealing with children. But I have to admit, it works sometimes and snaps him out of it.

“He said he doesn’t feel comfortable with it, and I’m not going to force him to do something that makes him uncomfortable.”

“Well, he has to do something. I fear his father’s sudden appearance might have set him back even further,” she whimpers.

I don’t like that thought. He was already on edge from his latest nightmare when his dad showed up, I don’t want him slinking further back.

I’m pulled from my worries about Landry when I hear two raised voices. I look over to see two pups fighting over a rocking horse.

“It’s my turn!” Yells Emmett, pulling the rocking horse closer to him.

“I had it first!” Yells back Andy, yanking the rocking horse back towards himself.

I shake my head and calmly walk over and kneel down between the two five-year-old boys. “Such loud voices for two little boys,” I say as I affectionately rub their backs, “What’s the matter?”

“Emmett keeps trying to take the rocking horse, but I had it first,” Andy sulks.

“He won’t let anyone else have a turn,” Emmett says with a scowl on his face.

“Andy, is this true?”

“It’s mine,” he says, wrapping his arms around the horse’s neck.

“Andy, the rocking horse is everyone’s toy, that means everyone gets a turn. It’s not fair to not let anyone else have a turn. How would you feel if you wanted to play with a toy and Emmett wouldn’t let you have a turn?” I gently ask.

Andy looks down thinking about it. “I wouldn’t like it.”

“I wouldn’t like it either, that would make me very sad. Does that make you sad, Emmett?” Emmett slowly nods his head.

“Andy, how do you feel knowing you made Emmett sad?”

Andy looks at Emmett and then the horse and then back to Emmett. He slowly lets go of the horse and slides it towards Emmett. “You can have a turn, Emmett, I’m sorry,” he says guiltily.

Emmett’s sweet little pistachio-coloured eyes light up, “Really?”

Andy nods, “I don’t want you to feel sad.”

Emmett thinks about that and smiles at Andy. “We can take turns.”

I smile proudly at the boys, my heart melting at their little minds learning to compromise all on their own. Things like this are why I love my job.

“That’s a great idea, Emmett!” I say enthusiastically. I point over at the big clock on the wall. “See the clock?” I ask them and watch as they turn their heads to look at the clock and nod. “When the red hand has gone all the way around twice, that’s when you swap, and you boys can keep doing that until you want to play something else. How does that sound?”

“Okay!” They cheer happily.

“I think it’s fair Emmett goes first since you’ve already had a turn, Andy. Okay?”

Andy nods, and Emmett gleefully climbs on the rocking horse and begins rocking. I smile and rise to my feet as I let the boys continue to play and have fun together.

“Are their wolves okay?” I ask Beatrix.

“They’re fine. Just protective of their humans as you’d expect, but they’re happy the boys are both happy now,” she says warmly.

Every mutolupus is given a wolf spirit at the moment of conception, so they truly are our companions for life. When dealing with pups, even though they can’t shift, their wolves can sometimes push forward if they feel the child is in danger or being mistreated and so we have to calm the child as well as the wolf within them. It’s a little extra work, but it’s worth it to ensure the children are happy and healthy.

“You truly have a magical touch with children,” announces Macy as she comes and stands beside me.

Macy Carmichael is thirty-three and runs the daycare. She took over when the previous owner retired. Macy and her animai Kelly have no pups of their own, nor do they want any, but she loves working with kids. She always jokes that it’s because she can hand them back at the end of the day, which always makes me giggle.

“I don’t think I do anything special,” I shrug.

“Jennifer, you have the patience and tenderness of an angel. You never lose your cool or raise your voice, and you always make sure the kids are seen and heard. Even people who have been working here for years struggle with those things,” she says with a kind smile.

“I guess I just relate to children more.”

“How so?” She asks as she picks some Lego blocks off the floor. Also known as the world’s deadliest weapon. A mutolupus is much stronger than a human, and yet even we can be brought down by stepping on one of those gnarly things.

“Those are one of the few reasons I’m glad I can’t shift. I hate to think of my poor paw stepping on one of those,” Bee whimpers, sitting back on her hind legs and l*****g her front paw as I suppress a giggle.

“Just like them, I can’t shift, and I know how it feels being surrounded by people much bigger and stronger than you. It can feel very scary sometimes. Even more so to a child who doesn’t understand everything around them,” I say while I pick some crayons up off the floor and put them back into their box.

“I like to think we all have a purpose in life. Tell me if I’m overstepping, but maybe yours was to be a guide for these children. Maybe you were born under the circumstances you were so that you could relate to them and better help them. Or maybe I’m just being foolish,” she says while dodging a couple kids as they race by.

“I don’t think that’s foolish,” I smile at her, “It’s nice to think I have a place in this world and that maybe I can make a little difference in it.”

“It’s things like that, that make everyone adore you,” she says playfully, making my cheeks heat up.

Before I can say anything I feel a tap on my leg and look down at little Aubrey, looking up at me with her caramel eyes.

I squat down to her level. “Is something wrong?” I ask with concern.

“The new boy won’t talk to anyone. I tried to ask him to play, but he got scared of me,” she says sadly.

I give her a reassuring smile and gently stroke her hair, “I’ll go have a talk with him and see if I can help him. Thank you for coming to me Aubrey, that was a very good thing you did,” I praise her, watching her face light up as she skips off happily.

“You really do have a way with those pups,” Bee says warmly.

“They don’t give me anywhere near the kind of headache teens and adults give me,” I admit.

“Wisdom does not come to all people as they age. For some, stupidity finds them, and then we are all screwed,” she says shaking her head gravely.

I stand up and walk over to the reading area. It’s a simple nook with soothing pastel yellows and blues and bean bags and cushions so the children can curl up, be comfortable and read a book. Even if that just means looking at the pictures. As I walk over, I see our latest addition to the daycare curled up in a bean bag in the corner. My heart clenches as I see the way the poor boy is curled in on himself as if trying to hide from everyone else. His name is Bai and he’s six years old. He and his parents are some of our newest additions to the pack, moving to Invictus all the way from the nagata kingdom in China, so they can be closer to their Empress and Emperor. Bai’s parents are focusing on getting settled and finding jobs, and they need someone to watch their son. They also hoped he’d be able to make friends here, but I can tell he’s been struggling, and it breaks my heart.

I slowly walk over and point to the floor in front of him, “May I sit there?” I softly ask.

Bai’s big pecan-coloured eyes look up at me with so much uncertainty, but still, he manages to nod his head. With a grateful smile, I sit near him on my knees. Thankfully the boy understands English, but I’m considering learning Mandarin or seeing if we can get one of the nagatas to come to work at the daycare so we can cater to more of our nagata neighbours.

“I hear you don’t feel comfortable playing with the other children,” I say compassionately. Bai takes a quick glance around the room and then holds his knees close to his chest. “I imagine it’s pretty scary; being in a new place surrounded by new people. They all look and speak differently to you. I would be pretty scared too,” I say sympathetically. “Do you miss your home?”

He slowly looks over at me and shakes his head. “It scary there,” he meekly whispers so low a human might not be able to hear it but with a clear accent that makes him sound absolutely adorable.

“What made it scary?” I softly ask.

“Bad people.”

I don’t know much, but I’ve heard people talk about the battle in Longsang and how people were being treated prior to Delta Mei liberating them. I hate to think what horrors this sweet boy has had to see growing up in that environment. His parents seem like very loving people and I’m sure they did their best to protect him, but when the person who is meant to protect your people, instead, is the one hurting them, there’s little you can do.

“I don’t like bad people. We have a very strong Alpha and Luna, they protect us and keep us safe and make sure no people hurt any of us,” I reassure him.

His little eyebrows furrow as he lifts his head a little, “What’s an Alpha and Luna?”

I smile at his inquisitiveness, “Well… they’re a little like the mother and father of our pack or home. They make sure everyone is safe and loved, just like your mummy and daddy do for you.”

“They stop the bad people?”

I nod firmly, “They definitely stop the bad people. I admit, I’m not very strong, and you’re probably much stronger than me,” I smile at him, “But I promise I won’t let any bad people near you. It’s okay if you don’t want to play with the other children, but if you ever want someone to play with, I’ll happily play with you.”

Slowly he frees his knees from his chest and holds his hands in his lap, “Do you know how to play chess?” He quietly asks.

I nod enthusiastically, “Can you play?” He nods. “Wow! That’s amazing, Bai! That’s a very hard game. I think we have a chessboard around here. If I go grab it, would you like to play with me?” For the first time ever I see the glimmer of a smile on Bai’s sweet little cherub face as he nods in reply and my heart soars to think he might be starting to open up. “I’ll be right back and then we can play,” I promise as I get up and go to hunt down a chessboard. I’m actually terrible at chess, but if it helps Bai to relax around me, I don’t mind losing a few hundred games.

“I could watch you interact with these children all day long. Pups, snakelets, there’s no child immune to your charms,” Bee compliments me, once again making me blush.

“Between you and Landry I’m going to permanently turn into a tomato soon,” I joke.

Beatrix chuckles, “You love it,” she says as she lays her head on her front paws.