Whole Again

Second Thoughts - Jennifer

My stomach twists into a knot when I hear Landry say those words. I’ve never met Landry’s father, but from the stories he’s told me, I’d hoped to avoid meeting him. Especially since I know how he feels about Omegas. I can’t help what I am, it makes no sense for him to hate me or anyone else like me for being born a certain way that we can’t control.

“Some people will find any reason to hate others, Jen. Their hearts are so bitter and twisted they can’t even summon a kind word or thought. It’s not your fault and you don’t deserve it. I just hate that I can’t come out to give him a piece of my mind,” Beatrix snarls as she crouches down as if ready to pounce.

“You can always speak through me,” I gently remind her.

Beatrix sits back on her hind legs with a caring look in her eyes, “We both know you don’t want me to do that. When speaking with Landry or Matthan, sure, but not for something like this, and I respect that. But you realise, one of these days someone is going to go too far in how they treat you, and you can’t blame me for what I do in that moment.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it Bee,” I say kindly, “I know you’d only ever do it to protect me, and I love you for that.”

“I love you too Chickpea,” she says warmly.

“What are you doing here dad?” Landry asks with a nervous edge in his voice.

I can feel the nerves slithering through his veins like snakes as he tucks me behind him protectively. Surely he doesn’t think his dad would hurt me… does he?

“We wouldn’t let him even if he wanted to,” says Matthan comfortingly. I frown at the thought of them fighting his dad because of me. I don’t want that.

“Man can’t visit his son?” The gravelly voice answers. His voice is so rough and croaky, like someone who smokes a lot of cigarettes. Well, a human who smokes a lot of cigarettes.

I peek around Landry only for my eyes to balk when I get a look at his dad. Holy cannoli! He’s huge!

“In all fairness, everyone is huge compared to you, Chickadee,” Beatrix says in amusement.

“Yeah, but this guy is a tank!”

He’s got to be at least 6’6” compared to Landry’s 5’6”, with cropped hair the colour of cedar with just a hint of curl to it. Skin the colour of freshly baked gingerbread that would hint at a mixed racial background and eyes the colour of peanut butter.

“Any more food references you want to throw in?” Bee chuckles.

If I could, I’d poke my tongue at her.

He’s nothing but muscle from head to toe with a deep-set scowl on his face with a dusting of facial hair, mostly around his lips and chin. He’s dressed in a blue flannel shirt, jeans, and work boots. He looks like a lumberjack, but I already know he’s a warrior in the Alpine Pack, so that would explain the muscles. It’s not really his size that surprises me, but the fact he looks nothing like my Lan.

Landry has light, teal-coloured eyes and silky dark brown hair that brushes against his forehead. The brown of his hair is so light at the top that it almost looks blonde. He has bushy eyebrows, a long face, a pointed chin, a perfect nose and rather big lips that are framed by fuzz that he just can’t seem to grow into real stubble. He has white skin only a few shades darker than mine with a peachy hue to it and doesn’t have a muscle on him. Well, not defined ones anyway. I’m struggling to find the features they have in common, but I can’t find any, so I can only assume that Landry mostly takes after his mum.

“How’d you find our home?” Landry asks.

“I followed the scent. It wasn’t that hard. Surely I taught you better than that,” his dad says in disappointment.

“And you just thought you’d come and see me?” Landry asks with uncertainty, “Why now? Why not months ago?”

“I was hoping you’d come to your senses and return on your own, but I can see that wasn’t going to happen without a push from me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Landry asks with unease and even Beatrix is getting just as uneasy.

Landry’s dad’s eyes shift down to me and harden like stone making me cower slightly.

“How could you mark that…thing?” His dad spits in my direction, making me wince at his words.

“THING? WHO THE HELL DOES THIS PUNK THINK HE IS?!” Beatrix snarls in my head, and I can feel just how much she wishes she could shift. Not the first time she’s wished she could, and every time has been when she’s wanted to protect me.

“She’s not a thing, she’s a person. Not just any person, but she’s my animai. I was an i***t to reject her, and I won’t make that mistake again,” Landry says confidently, though I can feel his disgust. Not just from the memory of rejecting me but from hearing his father’s words.

“She’s an Omega, Landry! How many times have I told you that they are useless? All they do is bring other wolves down. She’ll ruin your life!” His father says, storming over and towering over us. There’s so much hatred in his eyes that it’s bordering on madness.

Landry cowers back under his dad’s presence, but he still doesn’t break his protective stance in front of me. Suddenly Landry’s posture becomes straighter, and I hear a deep growl rumble in his chest. I look up to see his teal eyes glowing brightly and his whole facial expression looking nothing like him.

“Back away from Landry and Jennifer. Now.” Comes Matthan’s deep and threatening voice. It’s even and calm, but it is full of warning. Anxiety only grows higher inside me as I fear this escalating into a wolf fight.

Landry’s dad scoffs, “Still can’t fight your own battles, gotta get your wolf to do it for you?”

Just as I hear the sound of feet running towards us, I catch the scent of fruit punch and immediately breathe a sigh of relief.

“Is there a problem here?” Comes the calm and reassuring voice of our Alpha, Amelia.

“Ha, he’s in for it now,” says Beatrix smugly.

Landry’s dad’s nostrils flare as he takes a step back and turns his attention to Amelia. “I’m having a word with my son; this is none of your business,” he says contemptuous tone.

“Upsetting one of my pack members to the point that their wolf feels compelled to come forward would suggest otherwise,” she counters, clasping her hands in front of her.

“This is a family matter, so how about you run along and go back to pretending to be an Alpha,” he says, flicking his fingers at her in a shooing motion. I gasp, covering my mouth at his blatant disrespect and can see Landry’s eyes widen and feel the panic in him grow as he looks between his dad and Amelia.

Amelia smiles to herself and steps forward, “I think it’s time you left, Mr. Green.”

“You’re not my Alpha, you can’t tell me what to do,” he spits.

“Dad!” Landry exclaims, horrified.

“It’s alright, Landry. He’s absolutely right,” Amelia says with a warm smile in our direction, “I’m not his Alpha and I can’t command him to do anything,” she says as her turquoise eyes begin to glow brightly as she looks over at his dad. Suddenly I feel an intense wave of her Alpha Spirit push forth from her right in Mr. Green’s direction causing him to drop to his knees and clutch his head in pain. “But I’m still an Alpha and I won’t tolerate my pack members being mistreated. Since only your Alpha can punish you, I think it best I contact Alpha Lucas and inform him that one of his warriors entered my territory and then proceeded to intimidate my packmates. I’m sure he will have some choice words for you. Now I suggest leaving before this escalates,” she says calmly yet sternly.

Landry’s dad glares up at Amelia and looks at me with disdain as he struggles to his feet and storms off without another word or glance in our direction. I immediately let out a gush of air and feel my body slowly start to relax. Landry slowly turns around and carefully pries my hands from his shirt, sending soothing electric currents through my body. I didn’t even realise I’d been clinging to it so tightly.

“Are you okay, Pixie?” He asks with deep worry in his eyes as he raises my hands to his lips planting gentle kisses on my knuckles.

I give him a reassuring smile, “I’m okay.”

Landry sighs and turns to Amelia as he wraps his arm around me, “I’m really sorry about that, Alpha,” he says shamefully.

“You have nothing to apologise for. If your father tries this again I want you to alert me immediately.”

“How did you know he was here?” I ask curiously.

“He had introduced himself to one of the warriors at the edge of town as they let him in, but they informed me he had entered. I thought it best I came here to make sure everything was alright,” she says compassionately, her eyes softening as she looks us over, “I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but you can call for help. Anyone in this pack will come to your aid,” she assures us.

Landry looks down, “I don’t want to burden people with my problems. I just never expected him to show up unannounced and be so mean to Jennifer,” he says as he holds me tighter. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest in an attempt to soothe him.

“I hate his dad. The guy is a total asshat. Just look at what he’s done to our Lan. Not to mention is the whole reason we got rejected in the first place. I hope he tumbles headfirst down a jagged cliff,” Beatrix huffs indignantly.

“Bee!” I chastise, “That’s not a nice thing to say.”

“And he’s not a nice man, so call us even,” she says raising her snout up high.

“Landry, we’re a pack. You’re not a burden and we take care of our own,” she tells him with nothing but sincerity. I’ve tried to tell him that, but he’s too filled with shame to listen.

“Let’s go inside, okay?” I gently ask. I turn to Amelia and give her an appreciative smile, “Thank you for showing up, it was very kind of you.”

“My pleasure,” she says with a smile, “I’ll see you later.” With that she takes off into the woods like a blur, leaving us alone.

I give Landry a gentle squeeze and tug him towards the house. With his arms still tightly wrapped around me, we walk into our home, but his dad’s appearance continues to hang over us like a dark cloud.

The rest of the evening continues to be tense. I’ve been sitting in the living room while Landry busies himself with dinner, but the whole time I go over and over in my head what his dad said. Why does he think I’d ruin Landry’s life? Is it because I’m weaker? I know I’m much weaker than other Omegas because of the complications during my premature birth, but no one – okay, most people in the pack – ever made me feel different or less than. They even love to call me the pack’s miracle pup, which I think is silly. My mum agrees with the pack though, but that’s only natural.

Ever since Landry and I rebuilt our bond, I’ve never regretted it, and I still don’t, but I can’t help but wonder if completing our bond is now going to cause problems with his dad. Maybe marking each other wasn’t the right thing to do.

“How can you even think that?” Beatrix whimpers.

“I don’t want to be the reason Landry loses his dad. He’s already lost his mum, and I can’t imagine my life without mum and dad. I don’t want that for him,” I sulk.

“The only thing ruining their relationship is his stupid father. Landry has every right to be with his soulmate and we have every right to be with him. I don’t know what crawled up that man’s a*s, but it is not your fault. If Landry hadn’t come to his senses and fought to win us back he’d be back in his old pack dealing with his father’s crap. Do you want that?” She asks.

I shake my head adamantly, “No, I don’t want that.”

“Then don’t think such silly things. Landry is happy with us. This is his home, and we need to remind him that this is where he belongs and not let him feel like an outsider. We wouldn’t have even had a rocky start if not for his dirtbag dad,” she snarls.

“I wonder what his issue is with Omegas. There has to be a deeper reason for hating us apart from just thinking we’re a weaker breed.”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. That’s for him and a therapist to figure out,” she says with a firm nod.

“I don’t see him making an appointment any time soon.”

“Dinner is ready,” Landry gently announces.

I look over and see the deep concern all over his face and I wonder how much of our conversation he’s heard. With a guilty conscience, I get up from the sofa, sit at the cosy kitchen table and look down at the mouthwatering bowl of butter chicken and jasmine rice. The heavenly aromas fill the little cottage while the chicken looks super juicy. I was so lost in my thoughts my nose didn’t even notice the delicious smells. Now I feel worse. He put in all this effort, and I couldn’t even appreciate it.

“Thank you for making dinner,” I say as I smile over at him as he sits beside me, “I really do love your cooking.”

He gives me a half-hearted smile as he picks up his fork, “At least I can do something right.”

His words break my heart and have Beatrix whimpering, and I can feel Matthan reaching out to comfort her. I reach out and place my hand on Landry’s and take comfort in the electricity brought by our touch.

“You do a lot of things right, more than just cooking yummy, food,” I say sweetly.

“Do you ever think your life would be better without me?” He asks sadly, and immediately I feel tears prick my eyes.

I shake my head furiously, “Never. I’m happier with you in my life, I don’t ever want to picture my life without you ever again,” I say as I clasp his hand tightly between both of mine.

“You didn’t deserve how my dad treated you,” he says shamefully.

“Those were his words, not yours. You’re not responsible for his actions. Please don’t blame yourself. Alpha sent him away, and now we get to enjoy dinner,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.

“I love you, Pixie. I hate myself every day for hurting you, but I never want to hurt you again and I don’t want my dad to hurt you either. I don’t want to bring trouble into your life,” he says, closing his eyes tightly as I feel the turmoil swirl around inside him.

I’m up out of my seat and into his lap in a flash, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tightly breathing in his roasted coconut scent.

“I love you so much, my Snuggle Wolf,” I say as I nuzzle his neck and place a soft kiss on my mark taking pride of place at the junction of his neck. The iridescent shift of Beatrix’s paw print residing on his flesh reminds me that we are united now and forever. I feel him shiver under my touch and relax just a fraction, so I gently brush my lips against the mark in a loving gesture. “We can handle anything if we face it together. I believe that. We were brought together for a reason, and I don’t know what that reason is, but what I do know is that we make each other happy. What could be wrong with two people making each other happy?” I ask, pulling back to look in his teal eyes now glassy with unshed tears. I place featherlight kisses on his eyelids and feel his arms tighten around me.

“I would be lost without you. I never felt more lost than the day I hurt us both, but I have felt at home every minute since you let me into your heart. Thank you, for trusting me with something so precious,” he says with love and sincerity as he places his hand over my heart.

I hold his hand in place and smile at the boy the Gods gifted to me. He’s not perfect, but neither am I, but I believe we bring out the best in each other. Beatrix was right. I was silly to think our bond and our love could ever be a bad thing. We’re building a home and a life together, but we’re doing it together. I feel how safe and happy he feels here, and it warms my heart. I don’t want him to ever be somewhere he doesn’t feel loved.

I lean in and place my lips on his and smile when I hear his contented moan as he tightens his arms around me and kisses me back deeper, his lips moulding to the shape of mine. He peppers light kisses on the sides of my mouth and a final one on my nose making me giggle, and finally, I feel the warmth return to him.

“I could listen to you giggle for the rest of my life,” he says dreamily.

“That could be arranged,” I grin and kiss his nose in return, “Now let’s eat, the yummy dinner you made is getting cold.”

I go to get up from his lap, but he holds me firmly in place. He reaches over and slides my bowl closer, grabbing my spoon and scooping up a mixture of rice, chicken, onion, and butter chicken sauce and holds it to my mouth. With a wide smile, I devour the spoonful and let out a delighted hum as all the spices dance on my tongue. My legs swing back and forth as I open my mouth for another spoonful.

Landry chuckles, but gladly scoops another spoon of my dinner and feeds it to me. The soft and juicy onion adds a sweetness to the spice that makes my tummy happy.

“Maybe I should feed you all your meals,” he teases, kissing my cheek.

I shake my head, “I can feed myself. I just also like it when you do it,” I smile at him.

“I like it too,” he says happily.

I reach out for his spoon, gather up some ingredients, hold it to his mouth and watch happily as he takes the spoonful of food and chomps it down. Our doubts and insecurities melt away as we continue to feed each other dinner, and all I can think is that I can’t wait to have more evenings like this for the rest of our lives. We had a rough start – painful even – but it didn’t break us. If anything, it made us appreciate each other more and realise we had something worth fighting for. I think our rough start will make us stronger and give us the courage to face any future obstacles. We’re still young and have a lot to learn, but we’ll help each other along the way. After all, that’s what soulmates are for.