The Truth I Could Not Say
938 Words
The same evening we were brought to the apartments that Thyra had within the palace. The room was big, tidy, and much more homely than we had ever lived in. The room was illuminated with soft lights and everything seemed too good in comparison to the mess I experienced internally.
Thyra was sitting on the edge of the bed, part of her ceremonial garb still in her, her face flushed with excitement. She continued to smile as she was unable to believe what had happened.
“Do you know what this is, Vaelra?” she said. After all this, the moon goddess blessed me!I have a mate. I have one.”
I was close to the window, and had to smile.
“Yes. it is good,” I said.
But I could not even hear my voice.
Thyra was not paying attention. She continued to talk, with words of hope.
“He is the son of the Alpha,” she said. “It is still hard to believe it. I thought I would never see anybody again.”
I nodded slightly.
I replied, “you deserve it.”
That part was true. Thyra deserved happiness. She always had.
But each time I saw her I had a heavy feeling in my chest. Guilt. Fear. Confusion. I continued to think of Zorath, of the forest, of all that I could not describe.
I continued to assure myself that I would get the appropriate time to talk. It was only a matter of time. I had to ensure that I did not ruin her joy on the very night that she had managed to attain it.
I had not yet thought what to say, when there came a knock at the door.
Thyra immediately stood up.
An outside guard called, and said, “Lady Thyra, the Alpha demands your presence.”
Thyra glanced at me a moment.
“I will be back,” she said.
I nodded.
I said, “Okay.”
She left with the guard.
The door was closed behind her.
And all was too quiet in the room.
I sat up slowly on the chair by the table, and my hands on my lap. I was turning my head around. I began to play it all over again. The forest. The mark. Zorath’s face. The ceremony. Thyra’s smile.
I said to myself, “I must tell her. I can not hold this in any longer.”
I arose again, and began to walk slowly about the room.
“How,” I said, “can I even say it? Your lover is the one that I slept with in the forest? That sounds insane.”
I halted and rubbed my fingers on my forehead.
I replied, she will despise me. Or she will believe I lie.
I shook my head.
I replied, “No. I must tell you all right. I simply need to be straight.”
I sat back, and did it again, talking aloud as I practiced.
I said, “Thyra, I must tell you something. It is about Zorath. I saw him in front of the palace. I knew not who he was. We… we mistakenly had sex.”
I stopped.
My voice faltered a little. “No. that is worse,” i said.
I said, “No… that sounds worse.”
I tried again.
I said, “I made a mistake. I must tell you about something which happened in the forest…”
I stopped again and covered my face with my hands.
“This is impossible”. I said.
The harder I tried to say it, the more worse it sounded. None of the versions of the truth was safe enough.
I rose and fidgeted.
“I will only say it,” I said to myself. “Give it a word and have her respond.”
And I had not yet made up my mind, when the door was opened once more.
One of the maids entered.
She curtsied and told, “I am sorry to have disturbed you, I brought your sleeping garments.”
I looked at her.
I said, “Thank you.”
The maid laid out the clothes on the bed.
Then she hesitated a moment.
“Please where is my sister?” I asked.
The maid nodded.
“Yes, she will come shortly,” she said.
Then she left.
The door was closed once more.
I was by myself again.
My head was not on the clothes on the bed as I stared at them. It was on all that was going too quick. The palace. The Alpha. Thyra being called. Nothing felt stable.
I sat down again, and attempted to cool.
Just tell her tomorrow, I said to myself; not to-night. Not when she is happy.
But I knew even as I said it that I was but postponing the inevitable.
Another knock came a few seconds later on the door.
This was a different one.
Heavier.
Slower.
I arose to my feet.
My heart began to beat more rapidly.
I approached the door and opened it.
And there he was.
Zorath Vaelor.
At first he did not speak. He had just entered the room, and left the door behind him.
I had an immediate tightening in my chest when I heard the latch clicking.
I made a little step backward unconsciously.
He gazed up at me.
His face was now solemn. There is no confusion, no distance as there was. Just focus.
There was a moment of silence between us.
Then he at last spoke.
He said, “We need to talk. about that night.”
- Writer
