I Always Choose You

Chapter 3

Chapter 3It was me and Jacob’s weekend to be at our dad’s. Jacob had to work, and my mom wasn’t home yet, so I packed a bag and started walking.

On the way, I met Kenzie, dressed all in black as usual, her spiked blonde hair gleaming in the sunlight, and a few people I didn’t know walking toward me.

“Hey!” she said cheerfully. “Where are you headed?”

“My dad’s,” I said.

“Sometime you should come with me and meet some of my friends from my school,” she said. She introduced me to the people who were with her. I was flattered that she had offered to hang out with me. I thought Kenzie was attractive too, and I didn’t know if she was gay or not, but it was definitely something I wanted to find out.

“Hell yeah, we should do that sometime.”

We went our separate ways and I made it to my dad’s just as he pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex where he lived. Generally on weekends with my dad I didn’t go out with friends so I could spend time with him. He rented a three-bedroom apartment. Jacob and I didn’t have much there, but we had enough to be all right for a weekend.

“How are you, Rae?” he asked, as we walked in the door.

“I’m good,” I said. “I’m glad I have the night off; I’ve been busy! I’ve got a little homework, but not much.”

“Well, since Jacob’s at work, let’s go see him and eat there at the diner.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Jacob worked as a dishwasher. We walked in, looked into the kitchen and saw him, waving at him in the back, then sat down to eat.

My dad was tall and stocky with the same red-gold hair that Jacob and I had. He worked as a mechanic. My mom was a paralegal. We weren’t poor, but with the divorce and everything, our parents seemed to have forgotten that Jacob and I both wanted cars. I figured it might be too much to ask for: two reliable cars for first-time drivers at the same time. Jacob and I were both saving money to help out so maybe we could make our dreams come true.

My dad’s dream was to get back with our mom. I felt kind of sorry for him as he asked me questions about her, and I truthfully told him that she was at work a lot and I didn’t really see her much.

“Well, maybe we’ll see her at church,” he said as our food arrived.

I groaned inwardly. His hopes of seeing her were sad. But I decided if I was going to church, Jacob was coming too.

I spent most of Saturday doing homework and watching movies with Dad and Jacob. The next morning, a disgruntled Jacob and I walked into the church we’d been going to all our lives. I pretended to read one of the Bibles as I sat in a pew beside Dad, but really the words blurred, and I found myself once again pondering the religion I’d believed in my whole life. It all seemed like a load of s**t now.

After church, he, Jacob and I rode home in silence. Dad was probably disappointed that Mom hadn’t showed up. We had a fairly uneventful afternoon, and then Dad dropped us off at home at six.

Mom was home, and had cooked supper. She was just a little taller than me, with dark brown hair.

“How was your weekend?” she asked.

“Good,” we answered, and I wondered what she had done without us.

I spent the rest of the night listening to music and texting Morgan. I’d found that I could talk to her about things I could never talk to any of my other friends about. She knew a surprising amount about religion, so tonight we talked about what we knew about various religions and whether we thought it was all bullshit.

Easter is coming up, but I don’t feel the same way about it as I used to, I texted to her.

Did you know Easter is the way you pronounce the name of the fertility goddess Ishtar? And that her religious symbols include the egg and rabbit? The whole holiday was hijacked by Christians anyway and they didn’t even bother to change the name. Don’t worry too much about it.

The next day at school I hung out with my friends, and we talked about our usual: upcoming tests, people we didn’t like, and plans to do innocent things like go to the movies. I yawned at lunch, and realized I was kind of bored of all this. I loved my friends, but everything was so predictable. Then again, I didn’t want to stop talking to them completely. I would just do different things with other people.

“This Friday we have to see Sin’s Creator,” Eva said, speaking of the newest horror movie.

“Definitely,” Jasmine said, holding hands with Grayson on top of the table.

“I’ll pick you up, okay, Rae?” Eva said.

I nodded, idly stabbing my peas with a fork. “That sounds pretty fun.”

The next day wasn’t too exciting. I had to work, but Morgan wasn’t there. On Wednesday, the day was unseasonably warm. After school I decided to walk to the gas station by myself just for something to do.

Once again, I saw Kenzie walking my direction, a fountain drink in her hand, once again dressed in black, which I had to admit, looked good on her. This time she was alone. I felt unaccountably nervous.

“Hey,” she said, stopping when she reached me.

“Hi.”

“You should spend the night with me Friday,” she said, her blue eyes moving closer to mine as she stepped forward. “We’ll go hang out with some of my friends.”

My heart pounded, and dizzy anticipation filled my body.

“I have to work until eight, can I meet you after that?” I asked.

“Yeah, just text me when you’re home from work and changed and I’ll come pick you up,” she said. We exchanged phone numbers and then went our separate ways.

“See you Friday!” she said.

I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face as I continued walking to the gas station. Then with a jolt I remembered I was supposed to go to the movies on Friday. For a split second I faced a dilemma, but then I knew. I would have to tell the others that I couldn’t go. I’d think of some excuse. Going to the movies was monotonous. Hanging out with Kenzie would be an adventure.

When Friday came, I told my friends that I had to go somewhere with my mom. I impatiently worked four to eight, walked home, changed clothes, and texted Kenzie.

Within five minutes she was in front of my house in a green Buick.

“Hey!” I hopped in the front seat.

She turned her music down a little to greet me, and surprisingly, gave me a hug.

“Okay, now we’re headed to Potterstown,” she said.

Potterstown was only fifteen minutes away. That’s where Kenzie went to school. I had never asked why she didn’t go to our school.

“Want to smoke something on the way there?” Kenzie asked, holding up a joint.

“Hell yeah!”

Being high and listening to loud music while riding eighty miles per hour in a car was indescribably amazing. We reached Potterstown and pulled up to a small brick house on a dead-end road.

When we walked inside, the place was packed. Loud music blared, and a haze of smoke filled the room. Kenzie introduced me to several people. A blunt and a circle of people formed out of nowhere and I found myself smoking weed with a bunch of people I didn’t know. I felt connected to all of them.

Afterward, Kenzie led me to a side room by the hand.

“Do you want to try one of these?” she asked, holding out her other hand. In her palm were several white pills.

“What are they?” I asked curiously, not letting go of her other hand.

“They’re pain pills. Hydrocodone. They’ll make you speed.”

That sounded too good to pass up. I picked one up and Kenzie put the rest in her pocket. Then she moved in closer to me. Whatever scent she was wearing smelled intoxicating.

“Whatever happens tonight can be just between us, all right?” she asked.

Somewhat confused, I nodded.

Then she leaned in and kissed me. In complete shock, I realized I was kissing her back. I closed my eyes and put my hand to her face, thinking of nothing but the moment I was in. I shivered in surprise as she pressed her body against mine and put her arms around me. I had never kissed anyone before, and slowly wrapped my other arm around her to pull her closer. I felt hot and lightheaded. This was better than I ever imagined. Kenzie kissed me harder and I clutched her back for support, breathing heavier. All I could think about was how beautiful she was, and I pressed myself up against the body pushed against mine, feeling almost delirious.

After a while we pulled apart and smiled at each other.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s get you a beer so you can take your pill.”

I only drank two beers. I didn’t want to be as drunk as Jacob had been the other night when he couldn’t even get the door unlocked. The combination of weed and that pill had me feeling pretty good, though. Kenzie gave me another pill a couple hours later. Finally around two A.M., people were slowly starting to leave or pass out.

“Ready to go back home?” Kenzie asked me.

I realized I was going to be spending the night at her house and gulped as I nodded, wondering what was going to happen.

This time, in front of everyone in the living room, Kenzie kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around her and breathed in her scent, tasting the alcohol on her breath. She hadn’t drank much either, but sometimes it seemed like she pretended to be drunk around her friends.

We left the house hand in hand and then got into her car.

“Two important things,” she said before starting the car. She reached into a backpack in the back seat. “Listerine breath strips—” she handed me one to put in my mouth. “—and body spray.” She sprayed her hair and clothes, me all over, and everywhere in the car in general. That was what made her smell so good.

On the way back we listened to music, and she reached over and grabbed my hand again. This was great.

When we reached town, we were almost to Kenzie’s house when red and blue lights flashed behind us.

“s**t,” Kenzie said, sounding not surprised, but resigned. She let go of my hand and punched the steering wheel.

A white male officer in his forties appeared at Kenzie’s window.

“I’d like to see both of your driver’s licenses,” he said.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. This was it. I was about to go to jail.

Kenzie didn’t say anything as we waited an eternity for the police officer.

“Your sister has been called Kenzie, and your parents are on their way. They were very worried about you. They’ve decided not to press charges.”

“I don’t understand,” I said. “Why is she getting in trouble just for driving her own car?”

“Kenzie doesn’t have a car,” the officer said. “This car belongs to her sister, who reported it stolen but decided not to have her arrested.”

At that moment, a black sedan with three people inside pulled up, presumably Kenzie’s parents and sister.

“Uh, I’m not too far from home. I’ll just walk from here,” I told Kenzie, who didn’t say a word.

Suddenly sober, I climbed out of the car, avoiding the gazes of Kenzie’s family.

“Am I in trouble? Can I leave?” I asked the cop.

“You’re not in trouble, but I recommend you think twice before you hang out with Kenzie again.”

I shrugged and took off walking down the street the few short blocks to my house with a smirk.

There was no way in hell I was going to stop hanging out with Kenzie.