Finding myself in the unexpected

LOST

Have you ever had to hide who you truly are before? To the point where you aren’t even sure who you actually are anymore? That’s how I feel every day, who am I truly? After having to hide my true self for so long I’ve lost myself and I don’t know what that means for me, can you find who you are again without exposing to those around you who you are? It’s all so complicated and exhausting. Sometimes I wonder why I had to be born a “hybrid” or “crossbreed” why I couldn’t just be a clueless human and not know my kinds even existed. I only have a drop of human in me the rest is Fae and Witch. I know they sound like the same thing right, but they are not. My Fae side gives me great beauty, long black silky hair, green eyes, fair clear skin and a petite but curvy body. I can control most nature, speak many languages, run unbelievably fast, connect with animals, a singing voice that can capture you in many ways and I have great fighting skills. The main downside is I have naturally pointed ears and vine tattoos up one side of my body including my face. This tattoo is like a birth mark you’re born with it, mine is green and gold.

My witch side lets me use and create magic. I am all this, but I have to blend in with humans and go to school with them every day, hiding and forgetting who I am, losing who I believed I was. I just know the facts now that I am a crossbreed that many are threatened by, I am a race that isn’t suppose to exist because people don’t know what the power of a Fae and witch can do together. People call me “crossbreed”, “hybrid”, “abomination” because they are scared of who I could be. My parents happen to be the Queen of Fae and the Head Wizard of the strongest witch and wizard clans. How lucky right? Not really it just makes people more threated by me and the unknown, of course my parents thought it was best to put me in a human school because they believe it would be great to get to know my human side as well and learn to get along with them. So here I am at a human high school, Daintree forest high located in Queensland Australia.

Emilia Celeste is my name, I’m 17 years old and I’ve lost who I am….

Walking down the school hallways wearing my tight black and white checkered pants and a tight black shirt tucked in paired with my white chunky ankle converse, my hair half up in a bun and the rest down and straight. I have a little bit of makeup on to dull down my vine birth marks and some lip gloss. Today I wore dangly lightning bolt earrings and the ring I never take off, a silver vine ring that was given to me by my mother so I would never feel alone. I head to my locker grabbing what I needed for my first class of the day and year, art. I head to the class when I realise once again I’m late which over the years has seemed to become my specialty. Opening the door I walk in, my teacher Mrs. Anika stops speaking and looks up at me which causes the entire class to look in my direction, “Arh Miss Celeste how nice of you to join us, I hope this year you will break the habit of being late so I don’t have to give you endless amounts of detentions” She quirks her eyebrow at me for added effects, “I’ll work on it” is all I say looking for an empty seat in the class room finding only one next to a guy wearing a black hoodie over his face so I can’t see who he is. Walking over to the seat I sit down opening my art book up, I instantly start drawing the rainforest, the tall beautiful trees with beautifully patterned bark, the dragon flies, butterflies and birds that fly around the beautiful vibrant flowers, the crystal clear river that runs down into a waterfall with moss clinging to the rocks. My home in one beautiful drawing, I seem to draw my home a lot because of how much I miss it, I’m drawn to nature naturally and I would be a lost cause without it.

“That’s all pretty and everything but that’s not the assignment you know” comes this sweet husky voice. The guy sitting next to me has his hoodie slightly pulled back so I can see his face and he’s definitely new because I could never forget his face, light blue eyes, full lips, slight stubble over his defined jaw line, light brown hair and perfectly tanned skin. This guy was so unbelievably handsome I had to try hard to gain back my brain cells. “Umm, yeah I just like drawing this, why does that matter to you?” I ask realising he hasn’t been drawing the assignment either which was to draw a self-portrait. He was drawing what looked like a tattoo of a female in her underwear with angel’s wings holding a bow and arrow, interesting I thought. He quirked a beautifully shaped eyebrow at me before shrugging his shoulders and putting his headphones in, okay then I guess that conversation was over. I turned the page in my art book noticing we only had twenty minutes left in this class, deciding I should get my assignment started. I lost myself drawing my self-portrait because I didn’t know how I saw myself apart from the facts, black long hair, full lips, round green eyes, nice jaw line and slightly defined cheek bones. I didn’t know if that made me beautiful or if it was just my average shell. Was it me? Did I add my vine birth mark in? My pointed ears? How do you draw yourself when you need to hide yourself? After some long thought I decided to draw myself as a half-truth, in full image meaning I drew myself in my home, the forest, in nature but I hid my ear’s, though added my vines in softly on my face. I drew myself standing barefoot, in nothing but a short white silky dress with spaghetti straps and slits up the sides. I wore a green vine around my head with my hair flowing down around me. My hand was holding the tree feeling it’s beautiful bark. It was the truest I could be about myself in one image. Satisfied with my work once the bell rang I shut my book standing up when I dropped my pencils. Whilst I was picking them up I moved my hair out of my face, so once I stood up I realised the new guy was staring at me before saying, “Is that a tattoo on your face or do you draw it on?” I always hated being asked about this because I had to lie and say it was a family tradition to have this tattooed on your face as a child because people looked at you weirdly judging you because I couldn’t just tell them I was born with it because I was a Fae, that would end way worse. Here went nothing with the lying again, “It’s a family tradition tattoo” before picking my things up and walking off.

By the time lunch time came around I’d had enough of the day, I was tired and hungry. Walking to the cafeteria feeling drained and tired I put my airpod’s in listening to ‘Chasing cars’ By Snow patrol, I love their lyrics, “If I lay here, if I just lay here would you lie with my and just forget the world” because that’s what I wanted to lay in my forest and forget everything maybe with someone who truly cared about me and accepted me for who I am. Whoever I am now, because I don’t even know that.

Breaking me out of my thoughts someone took one of my airpod’s out of my ear startling me. Looking next to me I see one of the very few people I let hang around me because she’s pure, kind, caring but has your back if you ever needed her too. Sabrina was slightly shorter then me at 5 foot 5 with short red hair that she dyed, brown eyes, a button nose, almost full lips, perfectly manicured eyebrows, a soft splatter of freckles, a curvy body and a beautiful smile. “Hey Sab, what’s up?” I ask her softly with a small smile, “Girl you look dead, what’s up?” I laugh softly because even though Sabrina is so kind she is straight to the point and doesn’t hold back. “Just been a long first day that’s all” seeming to be satisfied with my reply she moves on to something that has her smiling like a fool, “Have you seen the new hunk in the black hoodie? He’s so hot I lose all oxygen around him” Sabrina says fanning her face with her hand to make her point making me laugh, “Yeah he’s in my art class and we’ve exchanged a few words but he seems like a darker soul that’s for sure” Sabrina squeals gushing at me, “Oh my gosh you’ve spoken to him! You’re so lucky, also you didn’t deny he’s like a supermodel!” With the last bit she grabbed my arm jumping up and down. “Okay, okay calm down S people are looking” We reach the line for the food and I’m looking at the options when Sabrina grabs, my hand with all her strength. “What are you doing now Sabrina?” I look up to where she is staring to see she’s looking at the new guy, her eyes almost bulging out of her sockets. I take all of him in now that he’s standing up and he’s even more gorgeous than I had first thought, he looked to be about 6 foot 2 tall, with broad muscular shoulder, a built chest because his jumper was hugging him tightly, jeans that hung lower on his hips but clung to all the right places, he looked like an athlete and his face… his face was one that I would be seeing in my dreams. I felt like I wanted to take him as my own which was the most outrageous thought I had ever had because he was human, at a human school. He could never see me for me and he could never care for me without me lying to him. Plus I didn’t even know him, so I needed to keep those thoughts locked down. Though I couldn’t stop looking at him the way he walked like he didn’t have a care in the world, sexy. He had dark brooding vibes to him, like a mysterious bad boy that every girl would fall in love with. With his hoddie down I could see he had what looked like a tattoo peaking out onto his neck which made me want to peel his jumper off and examine it. My gosh I had to get my s**t together. Shaking my head slightly I saw that we were now at the front of the line for the food, grabbing a tray for myself and Sabrina I decided on getting a simple chicken salad, a fruit salad and a banana milk shake, while Sabrina grabbed the chicken and bacon pasta salad, a pack of chips and a strawberry milkshake. Scanning our student cards we walked over to an empty table in the far back corner, sitting down we ate our food in silence until our other friend Olivia came and sat with us. Olivia was a cheerleader and guitar player, she had long blonde hair that she had in two braids down her back today, dark blue eyes, medium sized lips that were painted red, and she was skinny but toned from all her cheering. “Arh I’m so done with guys” is all she says whilst plonking herself down rattling the table with her small frame. “I think I’m going to stay away from them this year” Sabrina and I laugh hard at this comment because Olivia says this all the time and then does the opposite. “Oh so this is funny now, great thanks guys” She goes to get up but I stop her by saying, “Wait, we’re sorry what’s going on?” I said with all seriousness, “I caught Tyler, kissing Brianna again” She hang’s her head low and sobs a little, “Liv you are so much better then this, you deserve so much better then this. Please just leave him, you have us and you are so beautiful inside and out you shouldn’t let him drag you down” Olivia nods softly wiping her eyes before looking at us again, “I know it’s just so hard when you put everything into something only for them to shove it back in your face, but I know it’s time to leave him for good” Sabrina grabs Olivas hand giving it a light squeeze of encouragement, “We are right here girl, all day every day we are right beside you okay don’t forget that” We both hugged her and then carried onto a lighter topic before the bell rang signalling the end of lunch. This meant I now had sport to finish the day off which I wasn’t mad about because I always felt more free when doing exercise even though I had to use human speed and not my Fae speed. Once I was changed into my running shorts and a lose fitted Nike crop that finished at the top of my shorts I tied up my runners, leaving my hair half down I went out to the gym where everyone in sport meets before heading off to do as we are told. “Alrighty everyone, this week we will be doing something slightly different we have another teacher here, Mrs.Ray to take the girls. Yes we will be spitting up into boys and girls groups this week because the girls will be learning a dance number with Mrs. Ray who happens to be a dance teacher as well as English! And the guys will be coming with me to do some gym work outs for half the session and then the second half of the session you will be helping set up props and so on, the reason for this is because we have been informed that the girls in this class will be preforming in front of the entire school next Monday for Internationals women’s day so let’s get to it!” Mr. Holt said with too much excitement. Great a girl’s dance class… I wanted to go for a run or something not dance with a group of girls, don’t get me wrong I loved to dance but on my own not in front of an entire school.  I spent the next hour trying to learn a dance to “Run the world (girls)” By Beyonce’ which may I add had some very what you would call ‘sexy’ dance moves in it since Mrs. Ray was all about letting the girls have a say in the dance moves and the cheerleaders in the group kept speaking up and adding their input. By the end of the session I was worn out and sweating because that was a lot harder then I had expected it to be when you have to go over the routine time and time again readjusting dance moves, taking ones out to add new ones, learning them alone then to the music. This was going to be a long week in sport class.