Rise after a Fall

Other Laws in force, Russian Federation Laws, Which Consider You an Enemy, an Extremist and a Terrorist

Other Laws in force, Russian Federation Laws, Which Consider You an Enemy, an Extremist and a Terrorist

It was already warm in the Crimea, but a cool wind made us put some outer clothes on. This is the contrast of the Crimean climate: it seems sunny but you are warmly dressed. Seems to be hot and cool at the same time. Could it all happen because of this ambiguity?

...Each person individually, we challenge and are challenged by the world. What was actually going on at the time of my arrest? Was it a way to fall or to fly? Did those masked and armed people understand what they were doing with their own hands? Did I realize what it would all mean for myself? Where would the well-predictable roads lead? Nobody did... It was hard to fully understand both then and now, years later. But if there had been an opportunity to change something in life, it would have been possible to change quite a lot...

But even now I would not change anything. At all. Everything happened the way it should. Capturing me and many other fellow-thinkers gave my country, represented by us, a weapon against the aggressor country. Against the Russian Federation.

Trainers, blue jeans, a grey sweatshirt, a bag with a camera and a portrait of my great grandfather. That was all I had on me. Going to the parade to pay respect to the person I am proud of, and later a meeting with the most beautiful and loved girl, a short photo session with smiles and hopes for the future. The world was shining with the sunlight.

Within the evil one can always find the way up. The point is not to lose oneself in despair. The heart is to be filled with beauty. But will the evil tolerate something alive among the dead desert, among the filth, imposed on my land by the invaders?..

The Victory Parade was already over, and, finally, I could go to meet the person I loved and sought to give my heart to. She loved being photographed, and I took a camera to please her. I was about to see her...

Suddenly I had a vague uneasy feeling, some anxiety emerged. Our intuition and the instinct of self-preservation always work faster in extraordinary situations. You manage to notice the threat before the fatal moment. So did I, when turning the head, I saw two strongly-built men suddenly standing out of the crowd and were quickly approaching me, looking at me only, having only one goal in their eyes. As if they were wolves hunting. It is hard to believe but I was their prey. Afterwards everything was like in slow-motion pictures ... When your whole life flies within a single moment.

They were moving confidently, rapidly, fast, being aware of their power, force and impunity. The soldiers were performing a task, a mission from the corridors of power. One of them — a broadshouldered, a tattoo on a shoulder, and a striped sleeveless T-shirt. The other was tall, slim and short hair. I remember his shotgun, which was camouflaged like the city type. A glimpse in my mind told me to run. But where? How long could I run? There was no use in running, because they were looking forward to a chance to use their weapons against a runaway. To kill or wound a person is an entertainment for such people. They have no God, no humaneness, because this is the Federal Security Service (FSB)... But I learnt about that later. And now I was just moving on, hoping that I had mistaken. I was sure that there was nothing to hunt for me.

They were very close. An unexpected push in the back. I felt a firm grab of one’s hands on my shoulders. Life flew before my eyes within a second. But not the way a person does it before dying. I know the difference... but the way a person feels when he or she is deprived of freedom, fresh air, Motherland and the kin. A kind of the end-of-the-story feeling.

People always make mistakes, and this is their critical feature. To make mistakes because of not thinking the situation through thoroughly. Something is done being in rage. By instincts. As a result they make mistakes and regret afterwards. It is very hard to estimate the effects of your actions. It is difficult but still absolutely realistic...

In a moment they twisted my arm and I just collapsed hitting the ground with my head. They beat me, but because of the adrenaline I was not feeling anything... I cried that it was a mistake, that I was a photographer, going to his girlfriend k, but they did not react in any way. They handcuffed me.

All my activities, my actions, my beliefs and views had led me to that moment. My resistance, be it at least minimum on the whole scale, could always result in the arrest. Didn’t I suppose that taking part in the protest against the Russian occupation could entail the following events? Could military base night watching go unnoticed for the invaders? Could an alternative opinion stay unpunished in the RF? I had always known the result. But I could not believe that having lived for 23 years in a free country it could happen to me. You always think that it can happen to anyone but you. Who will believe that they might spend all their youth being captured? Certainly, you keep hoping for the law and order if you are a law abiding citizen. The law which seems to be on your side and must protect you. But other laws came, Russian Federation laws, and now you are an enemy, an extremist and a terrorist...

It took me a long time to realize everything occurring to me cautiously, as if in a desperate attempt to protect. But the reality was shocking and rapid. Instantaneous. Inevitable. Change from the vertical into horizontal position. A flight into the abyss. The body, as if dead, collapsed onto the sidewalk. The head was pressed. My right hand was turned behind my back. A kick with a leg on my ribs. The same action was repeated with my left hand. A kick with a leg on the other side. The head was raised with the hair and then again pressed down to the ground. After that everything went black — a hood was put on my head. A hit! Another hit! One more! Metal... wrists were tied with slavery. This is the way freedom is lost — a feeling that is hard to describe. The initial, unconscious and frightening. This is the feeling of non-believing in reality

Freedom leaves your body. Someone’s hands grab it. They hit and beat you, but do it in silence, among the crowd of people, who are terrified to see this unexpected detention in the very center of the city.

Someone takes a video, someone makes noise... but my kidnappers do not care. Because it was planned like that. Because the Security Service directed their performance and their journalists were loitering around. In that awkward manner another report was prepared. It was to become another, reasonable justification of the Russian occupation of the Crimea.

I remember perfectly well that first sensation of life coming to a halt. No, probably, you will not understand, because you move on: you have your troubles to deal with at work, you have plans, a family, joy and cares. But when all the chains end at your side, you do not have anything anymore... at all. Just you... and God...

They searched and confiscated everything that I had on me, put on a hood on my head deeper to the chin, and on top they put on a black bag so that I could not see the faces of those criminals. Your world was covered and completely light-proof. From now on that bag would also cover my life in capture. Another moment, just a glimpse, and you are soaring again. Deprived of freedom you are taken somewhere. Hands were twisted non-physiologically. Handcuffs were cutting the skin. Another second, and you fell on the hard rear automobile seat. At the same time your head, back and legs are pressed again by those who tied you like a free rain-deer. You sense the engine start, the car pulling out. It takes you to the unknown, to the life-long stage...