Run with me

The wait

Noah POV

It has been almost 2 days since Austin left. Normally I don't worry this much about his return. But these days he feels different. Our connection feels different, distant in some way. It makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable. 

We have to be together at least to figure this all out. But I also don't want to be the over concerned type and glue myself to him. Thats why, even though I desperately want to, I havent linked with him. Even if I did, I wouldn't know what to tell him. The mate finding festival is coming up and anything related to that, would sound as nagging to him. Maybe this is why I have become so sensitive. I fully transformed into a male after all. He was supportive, but maybe thats why our connection is slowly weakening? His inner wolf might not be into the same s*x anymore? If such a thing even exists. Maybe its instinctive? As I can not produce any pups anymore. 

All these thoughts make me only more concerned for him finding another female mate at such events. Even when we first met at EXACTLY the same festival. THE FESTIVAL? maybe I should sabotage it. Cancel it? make him stay away from it. But he is the alpha, its impossible to keep him away from appearing at least once. 

I keep walking around the black with marble kitchen island. Like one of those dogs that walks in circles to find a place to burry their bone, or pee. Stopping in front of the white cupboards, taking a glass out of it. I walk towards the sink on the marble kitchen isle to fill it with water. Turning on the tab my thoughts take off again.

Even 6 years ago, at the festival it looked like I was the only one mesmerised by him. Walking up to him I placed my hand on his arm. Until then he hadn't even noticed me. Maybe it was because I dressed boyish that he never took a look at me or even thought of me as mate potential. I never asked him about it. But he also felt the small sparks going through our first touch. The sparks always have felt great on my skin. Others speak of them in such an over exaggerated way. While other 18 year olds jumped on each other, flying into each others arms. We at 22 stood still, looking at each other while sparks tingled through my hand on his arm. Like grown ups in a relationship we have always been able to keep a certain decency. 

Austin doesn't show it often. But he has such a gentle side to him. At first I felt so uncomfortable in crowds. Not knowing many of our pack, I was like a ghost. Austin carefully let me meet and get to know everyone on my own terms and timeframe. If I had not touched him that day, I might still have been a ghost or a rogue. He bound me to this pack. Through him I earned my acceptance and respect in the pack. Slowly making me turn into the open and extrovert person I am today. 

Lost in my thoughts my glass had overflown. Turning the faucet off, I take the glass and make my way to the living room. Curling up on a dark green soft armchair with gold metal legs closest to the window that covers the whole back of the house. Taking a sip from my water I look towards the trees. 

We have our own house. Everyone is always welcome to come in, however it feels safer to live apart from everyone else. Nobody else in the pack is like me. Of course not everyone can love and accept the fact that I became a male. That's why we moved. Even though I have earned respect from the pack, they basically have no choice as I stand beside their alpha, I can always see some disgust from some wolves. I finally feel complete but I still can't have it all... and now my only protection is even slipping away from me. 

Having my guard up I almost jump up, spilling some water over my shirt when a grey wolf runs through our backyard. Gale, where is he going in a hurry and in his wolf form? He knows we have to be careful around town not to be spotted by human visitors. Standing up, in front of the window I look at the spot he disappeared. Gale normally hangs around his bar, only visiting town if somebody invites him to come over for some party or guys drinking night. This makes me realise I havent seen him for a long time. He does sometimes remind me of Austin, he is tardy but nice. Wait, wasn't Austin supposed to meet up with him? This can't be good. 

Opening the sliding window door to the backyard I step out on the grass. Just then, as if I called him, Gale jumps again in sight. Almost running past me. "STOOOP" immediately Gale comes to a halt and looks up to me. Narrowing my eyebrows "Where do you think you are going? and in such a hurry."

*A guest of the bar drove off the road. Alpha told me to deal with the car now.*

"If they have to drive, can't they until they are sober.."

*She was sober. We were chasing a deer and were about to cross the road. She would have hit us otherwise *

I should thank her than. "So Austin is taking care of that now?"

*Yeah, he also called out to Conan to come help*

"Oke, you can go on. Good luck"

With a soft bow of his head, Gale ran off again. I got a bit excited, as it means Austin will be back tonight. Dropping the girl at the clinic with Conan. He will be in town and coming home! From all that water I have to go piss.

--- 

Why can I not be mentally 100% a guy as well and stop thinking so much about everything. The sun is setting already and still no word or sign of Austin. I will just grab a beer and try not to care. However that one beer became many more. Turning the tv on, I hope it will distract me enough for the beer to kick in and make me fall asleep. 

I could feel myself relax. He said Austin was fine enough to take care of an accident. There is nothing to worry about at all. The bitter taste of the beer I can feel on my tongue and lips. My eye lids started to slowly move up and down until the tv sounds become muffled and the screen turns into blackness.