The Life of Her

A Fight to Deal

A Flashback:

“Do you want me to help you with your project?” He asked me as he intently watched as I glued those Popsicle sticks that I cut, together.

“I’m okay.”

I bit my tongue as I focused myself on it, carefully sticking them at both ends. Our teacher gave us a project in arts – to build a house made of Popsicle sticks. Father slumped his back on the couch, putting both of his hands on his nape. He yawned.

“You can sleep, Dad.” I offered him.

He suddenly stretched out his arms and became lively. “Nah. I’m good. Your mother hasn’t come home yet, so I have to wait here and let you do your thing there.” He patted my head. “Are you sure you really don’t want any of my help”

I nodded. He pouted, but then, he just let me do my project.

“What do you think of Mom when you first met her, Dad?” I suddenly asked.

His face flushed red as he tried to recall in his memory the day that they first glanced at each other.

“Well…she was my rival during that competition and I should say she’s brilliant that the result was her winning. I was struck by her beauty and her genuine interaction with the people around her. If you’re asking on how I was able to get in touch with her, I asked her phone number from one of her closest friends who’s also acquainted with classmates. Since then, we were talking to each other, texting. Then I got the courage to ask her on a date. Luckily, she answered yes.” He chuckled as he left embarrassed a bit. “Then the rest is history.” He winked.

“I hope I’ll find someone like Mom.”

He caressed my hair and smiled. “You will, son. You will.”

___

One thing has been bugging me lately. Love had met in their pathways and they made themselves one – built a family on their own, have me as their son, helped each other for the future they have sought, and lastly, they have vowed in front of that altar…so why did it go to this? I’m already a young man for me to realize the reason why. They were a lot. And, maybe the love they have found before is now different from what they have now. Maybe the current one is cold or it will just take a spark to ignite again. But then…

Are they trying or doing their best?

It didn’t take me an hour to arrive at the hotel. It was already seven in the evening and I could feel my tummy rumbling for food. I paid the driver and immediately grabbed the phone inside my bag. I tried to call Mom but it was then I found out that I don’t have a load to make a call. Damnit! I forgot it. I was left with no choice but to start finding her. My guts told me that she’s just in the parking lot. I roamed every corner, passed every car that was parked. Where are you, Mom? I have a bad feeling about this.

My feet led me to the last row of the parking lot, then I stopped in my spot when I saw a woman in her skinny red jeans, black sneakers, and white fitted shirt, holding still her breath as she covered her mouth with her hand. She was looking straight at a car in front of her. A beep suddenly horned from the car, then came to another. I saw how her tears rapidly fell on the side of her cheeks. She was in pain. I moved my eyes to where she was watching and I saw them inside the car.

My heart was slashed immensely like a thousand times that I wanted to get rid of them in an instant. Gnashing my teeth, I saw how they caught their own breathes as they devoured each other’s lips, rubbing every inch of their bodies like there’s no tomorrow. Every second was important to them. Animals.

I clenched my fist and directly went to her. I saw how her shoulders moved as she sobbed quietly in that hazy, dark corner. Why? Why do you let yourself suffer, Mom? Is it really worth it? As far as I could remember, it’s not the love I have known when I first saw you both as a family I could call my own. Why did this have to happen?

I paced to her and immediately wrapped my arms around her, which made her flustered. I felt my eyes sting, tears rushing down my face. She looked at me all so weary, her eyes were so wet with her tears. When she saw my face, she immediately burst the tears that she was holding for a long time. She groaned between her sobs, shaking. She was catching up with her air. Mom….

She hugged me tight, digging her face on my shirt. Seeing him with another woman hurts me so bad, but seeing Mom like this hurts me more. I shouldn’t have left her home alone a while ago. I brushed my fingers slowly through her hair. I let her be. She cried so badly and I just stood still beside her, waiting patiently for her to compose herself.

I glanced over them. He now took off her clothes and planted kisses on her neck, sucking it a bit. She clasped for air, pulling his hair. His fingers traveled her swollen mounds and slowly kissed them. She was smiling in enjoyment. In exchange, she nibbled his right ear then gave him a torrid kiss. They were playing at each other just like before. Why did we end up like this? We don’t deserve this!

I was about to make my mom when Mom suddenly clenched my shirt and whispered. “Let’s….go home…”

I was glaring. “But, Mom. This is all wrong. We should confront him-”

“No. And my decision is final. I might be a coward to myself but this is my decision. Stay out of line, Trent.” She firmly said.

I couldn’t understand her completely and it made me boiled. Stupid. This is pointless.

“You should have known your lover first before signing those papers in that goddamn church….” I slowly let go of my hold on her. I took a deep, long sigh. It’s up to you now, Mom….

For the last time, I turned my head to see them. Is that how you call the thing love? If it is then, they I don’t want to believe it ever again…I shed a tear. And, I will not want myself to be just like you, Dad.

“Okay…let’s go home…”