The Life of Her

Raven Claws

I gradually cleared my eyes from the raucous, chuckling sound of the rooster. The sun was beaming extensively through my window curtains. My alarm clock was also buzzing wide, keeping me ablaze. I gradually moved my right arm and reached to turn it off. Rubbing my eyes, I took a yawn and slowly get up from the bed. My feet are cold as I forgot to cover them with my blanket. It’s good to be here in an apartment. Amber is quite an independent one to live here and be with many people. I guessed it's time for me to work with how I interact with them in the form of hers.

After cleansing my face, I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. I grabbed the plastic container that was placed at the bottom. It was yesterday’s meal – slices of bacon, egg and sliced bread. I don’t have much strength to make breakfast, so I intended to save them last night for today. They were from Shin. My eyes were still dropping. Quite excited to explore this place. I could say that this is far from my house but the new environment got me thrilled.

I heat a cup of water and made myself a coffee. The fastidious, bitter-sweet smell of it uplifted me. I smiled as I stirred my spoon. It has been a week since I appeared in this apartment again. Mrs. Jane and Shin, together with the other neighbours were quite delighted to see this girl once again.

Though, it may seem that everyone was happy with my presence, the fugitive, placid sense was still there as I saw those eyes from a woman who owned that store. She was just keeping her distance away from me and never heard a single word from her, her eyes were in a blank stare. I guessed me being in this place is not her thing. Her expressions clearly told me that she doesn't like me being around.

I didn’t bother to have a dialogue with her, just leaving her the way she was from the first time we met each other. A basket, still filled with assorted fruits was in front of me. A man named Albert offered me this and told me to take care of myself more. I owe him some too.

Being in Amber’s body is still tricky and uncomfortable. The way things were so different from before had slapped me a million times, and surely I have missed my own stick.

Every time I looked at myself in the mirror and during taking a bath, I felt embarrassed that I could feel my own ears burning into fine red – that I would want to drown myself and will wake up with my own body.

Even in household chores, I do everything on my own. I was able to learn how to cook for myself and I was thankful that Mom used to teach me some of her delicacies. How I wished I could see her again.

Taking a piece of apple, I took a fine bit of it. I was keenly reveling in my food, when a thin, white mist appeared in front, revealing a joyous face of Amber. She was smiling wide that when I stared at her a little bit more, she would look like a serial killer. I gently pushed her head away from me and reverted my sight to the apple.

“What brought you here? I didn’t even call out your name…” I said almost in a whisper.

She kept her arms and settled beside me. She had tied her hair into a bun.

“Well. I was having the feeling that you won’t call out my name, so I’m here to beg your help. A week is quite a long time to think about the future, isn’t it? So, what’s your decision? Is it a go or a no?” She promptly laid it.

I took a sigh. “It’s not like I have a choice. So, it will be a go. But first, I have a favor for you.”

“What is it?” She replied.

“I want you to take me to my body.” I stated.

She wiggled her fingers. “Hmm. In one condition.”

Amber is a fine woman with good skills, especially in deceiving people. She totally has a brain to us.

“What is it again, woman?”

“I want you to tell me your connection with Mom. I saw how you looked at her when you went back here and agreed to come with her in going home this weekend. Your eyes showed abhorrence. What did she do to be dealing with someone like you?” She said, walking to the shelf, trailing her fingers on the books and the ornaments.

I felt my feet stuck on the floor. I couldn’t move as if something was on my top, aggressively ramming me into the ground. It was heavy. I winced and tried to face her. The memory was there, even how many times I tried to get rid of it. It was hunting. I felt my sweat slowly dripping on my face. I bit hard my lower lip and clenched my hand.

“I hated how destiny had made us like this – having a connection that purely came from aversion.” I scoffed. Lifting my head, I latched my graze at her. I felt my eyes burning. “Your mom…is having an affair with my Dad…” I said.

Her finger stopped at the corner of the shelf. She froze on her spot. Amber didn’t say anything. She just remained silent.

“Your…mother…had searched love in a wrong way. She…She broke someone’s family for her happiness-” I felt my voice broke as the tears fell down my cheeks.

“And your Dad broke mine too…” She turned herself and face me. There were no tears but mere resentment. “Your dad broke someone’s family too for his happiness…and that’s mine! I disgusted them so much that it made me puke just by seeing them having their moments. If they didn’t meet….if they didn’t fall in love with each other…then…then we won’t be experiencing this f*****g ire!”

She suddenly burst into a laugh, a menacing one. Slowly a black mist was covering her and her eyes were turning red. She was in a deep rage. I took several steps away from her. She was losing her composure.

“A-Amber?” I called her name.

She wasn’t even listening at all. The black mist was already in her shoulder.

“A-Amber…wake up.” I started to panic.

An ominous grin was on her face, slowly twitching. Her fingers had grown longer and her nails were shrilled. In a split second, she instantly moved towards me. She was just a few inches away from mine. She abruptly clasped her hand on my neck. And with her amount of strength, she was able to lift me up, piercing her nails. I wailed in pain as I tried to push her away from me, punching her arm. She didn’t twitch.

I was slowly losing my breath, when I found enough force to yell out her name at the top of my lungs.

“AMBER KATE MADISON!! WAKE UP!”

She heard my call. Her raging eyes suddenly ceased together with the black mist around her and she immediately released her grip on my neck. I flunked on the floor and my butt hurt much. Rubbing it thoroughly, I was catching air. I gave her a glare, hoping that it would melt her. She was surprised by her actions, that it made her take some steps away from me. Her back hit the wall.

“A-Are you trying to kill me now, woman?!” I yelled at her.

She gradually wriggled her head as she stared out of nowhere. I sought it as soon as I recovered. I slowly established the strength to rise again. I wandered to her and wrapped my arms around Amber. In an instant, I heard her sob silently as I felt my shoulder getting wet with her tears.

As for being a ghost, it’s still a mystery to me that I could feel her tears and I could completely hug her. But one thing is for sure, we felt the same way – sadness and longing.