Of course it goes without saying that part of me enjoys my suffering. I wouldn’t be here if it didn’t. But what I enjoy about it, what truly makes it not only worthwhile but unbearably exciting, is having Mistress here actively inflicting it. She is so divinely beautiful, so sublimely sexy – and I am so patently unworthy of her – that any kind of interaction between us at all is desperately welcome. And since I am so unworthy, being pitilessly punished by Mistress feels not only appropriate but supremely satisfying to my self-despising, deep inner conviction of inferiority. This is especially true in the case of s*x.
What I want more than anything in the world of course is to f**k my gorgeous Mistress. But since this idea is so ridiculous as to be laughable, nothing could be more condign
