Of Fire and Fury (Book 1: Light-Born Series)

Chapter 13 - Rabid

When Rabid’s mind ascended from the deep dark of grief, she found herself suspended in another kind of darkness. Though her eyes were open, her brain was refusing to recognize what she saw. Instead, she remained only vaguely aware of her surroundings. Something soft lay beneath her, low voices drifted around her. Shadows and lights flickered across her vision in blurry, unassuming shapes. Through the fog, a hazy memory flared into the forefront of her mind.

It was the morning after her union. Her father and mother stood facing her, sadness plastered to their faces as they began to bid her farewell. Amarii placed her hand against Rabid’s cheek.

“Do not lose yourself.” She whispered, placing her other hand on Rabid’s chest. “You are, and always will be a Napua. As moons pass, and leaves change, you will be forced to do things you never thought you would do. Do not forget our ways, Rabid. Do not lose your good heart. Most importantly, do not blame yourself for what you are forced to do.”

The image faded to black almost as quickly as it had come, and Rabid was alone again. She tried hearing, again, the soft yet intense voice she had known before all others. A tear escaped her eye and she felt a warm hand wipe it away.

“Do not cry in front of them.” her mother’s voice whispered. “Be strong.”

But when Rabid opened her eyes, her face was not there. There was only the muted shadows, and the cold emptiness that filled them. Her parents were gone, and everything she knew had disappeared with them. Her entire life had been burned to the ground, and she was left with nothing but a strange friendship she didn’t want and a new people who hated her.

The darkness inside her felt raw, unfettered. It felt like the same ashes that covered her home had suffocated everything inside of her, and she could barely form her own thoughts. As she lay in this state of unbeing, she felt arms on her shoulders. A form was in front of her eyes, thick shoulders and dark eyes, peering into her own sightless eyes. Something whispered against the darkness. The scent of earth and sage was reaching out to whatever glimmer of light was left inside of her. But if there was light, Rabid couldn’t feel any. The form moved away, leaving her in darkness once again.

Unaware of time, Rabid decided she never wanted to wake to reality again. Here, at least, she could pause everything and pretend that nothing had happened. Here, she saw her father’s face, felt his arms around her. White Fawn could still smile at her, and use her soft hands to wipe the tears from Rabid’s cheeks. Rabid embraced them, felt their love and their warmth. But she couldn’t see the teepees anymore. She couldn’t run to the river. She couldn’t lay in the bed of her parents and listen to their soft sounds that lulled her to sleep. She was alone. More alone now than she ever thought possible.

Here she remained, in the place between worlds, unaware that several days passed. But then, someone appeared who she hadn’t expected.

Stone stood before her, his image wavering in the darkness before her. His dark brows furrowed in worry, his arms crossed across his broad chest. He stood far off, staring at her.

“Your life is your own.” she heard his voice.

I don’t want it.

He took several steps closer, until he was standing a few inches from her chest. He stared at her, his dark eyes searching her. She saw brief flickers of him with a red stripe down his nose. She felt his thumb wiping a tear from her cheek.

“Rabid.” The voice was louder now, less muddled by layers of her own mind.

Just let me die, here, Stone.

“Please come back, Rabid.” His voice whispered into her ear. “I cannot watch this. Not again.”

Rabid didn’t want to listen. She conjured her father’s face again, the scar that ran down his cheek, his thick braid, his kind eyes. Her anger and betrayal was forgotten for now, she didn’t think she could live without him. He placed his hands on her shoulders, his thin smile reassuring her that she could. He cupped her cheek with one hand and smiled, sadly.

“I love you, my pup, but it’s time.” he whispered, kissing her forehead before fading out of sight.

Stone’s voice forced her from the depths of her mind. Rabid closed her eyes and fought it for awhile, but she felt the cloud of darkness already floating away. Her parents were gone, and they wouldn’t come back. Squeezing her eyes shut, Rabid took a deep breath. This time, when her eyes opened, she could see what the man in front of them. His square jaw, his dark eyes filled with concern. 

“Rabid?” Stone said, his eyes widening slightly. Rabid tried to speak, but her tongue felt swollen and stuck to the roof of her mouth. The moment he saw her eyes, free of the fog that had kept them blind for the last span of days, his face broke into a smile that lit his entire face. He dropped his head to the skins next to her face.

“Oh thank you.” He whispered into the skins. Behind him, Red Moon broke into a toothy smile.

“I told you.” She said, patting Stone’s shoulder. Rabid squinted her eyes and tried swallowing, with great difficulty. Stone stood and grabbed a cup of water, then helped her to sit up. The cool water slid down her throat and unleashed her tongue.

“How long was I…?” a cough cut her off. Stone took the cup from her hands and set it on the floor.

“Six days. How do you feel?”

“Like I don’t want to be here.” Rabid said. Stone’s eyes darkened, so she continued, “But, here I am.”

The teepee flap was pushed open, the shock of sunlight burning Rabid’s eyes. She squinted and saw a man’s head appear. He motioned for Stone and then disappeared again.

“I have to go.” He said, his hands grabbed hers. He looked down at her regretfully, as if he didn’t want to go.

“I’ll be here when you come back.” Rabid said, forcing a tight lipped smile. He nodded slightly, but his eyes narrowed, examining her for a moment before disappearing through the flap.

Red Moon brought Rabid a warm liquid in a clay mug. She crouched down and held it against Rabid’s lips. It was sweet on her tongue, but as she swallowed the aftertaste was strong and bitter, making Rabid cough again.

“He was here every night, you know.” Red Moon said, ignoring her obvious discomfort and forcing more liquid down her throat. “He slept right there on the floor.”

Rabid followed her bony finger to a small roll of skins that was pushed against the bed. The warm liquid, disgusting as it was, had almost instantly revived her stiff body, and she twisted to see Stone’s makeshift bed.

“Why would he do that?” she asked. The thought of Stone sleeping next to her, waiting for her to wake, sent a pang of guilt through her chest. Red Moon dropped her chin and raised her eyebrows.

“You’re his woman.” She said, grinning. “That man would do anything for you.” 

Rabid felt heat rise to her cheeks and she looked away from Red Moon’s gaze. I’m not even his woman, not really, she rejected, silently. A wrinkled hand tilted Rabid’s face back to meet her pale eyes. Rabid felt naked under those eyes.

“You know…” she said slowly, examining Rabid to the very core. “You are a part of his story, now. You are Omari in every way that matters to him.”

Rabid squirmed slightly, uncomfortable with the deep knowing that greeted her in those pale blue eyes. Rabid silently prayed that Red Moon’s comment was coincidental. She didn’t want to risk anyone knowing that they weren’t even really married. When Red Moon seemed satisfied, she released her hold on Rabid’s chin.

“Thank you for taking care of me so long.” Rabid said, shyly. She began to slide her legs from the bed.

“You are strong, Rabid. I helped very little.” The old woman said, her thin fingers wrapped Rabid’s forearm to help her stand.

“I don’t feel so strong.” Rabid said, her rubbery legs protesting her standing. It wasn’t just her body that felt weak: her insides were in a million pieces in the soles of her feet.

“Well then let’s wait for Stone, he’s nice and strong.” Red Moon winked. Then she cackled in amusement at Rabid’s blushing cheeks.

Leaving her on the bed, Red Moon began bustling about the teepee. It was the most crowded one Rabid had ever seen. Though it was the same size as the one Stone and her shared, Red Moon’s teepee felt cramped. There was not a single space of wall that did not have something pressed against it. There were flat pieces of wood stacked against each other, full of dried herbs and flowers. Trinkets hung from strings all over the walls. Large bunches of dried sage hung from the center of the teepee, so thick and low that even Rabid would have to stoop to avoid walking straight into it.

Red Moon rummaged through various leather sacks, tossing food items to the bed. She opened a large barrel, hanging her wiry body over the edge until her feet almost left the ground before she reappeared with a large piece of dried meat in her hands. She grinned triumphantly and tossed it to Rabid.

There was an assortment of nuts, sweet red berries, and the large piece of smoked boar scattered across her lap and the skins of Red Moon’s bed.

“Eat, my dear!” Red Moon waved both hands at her, before sitting and making herself busy preparing poultices and stacking them in a pile near the tent flap. Rabid obliged. She didn’t feel hungry, but the moment she took a bite her hunger came out like a wild animal. It was several minutes of stuffing her mouth before her stomach bulged and she finally felt satisfied. Then, she turned her attention back to Red Moon.

“What are those for?” Rabid mumbled over a mouth full of food.

“We have to be prepared.” Red Moon said, not looking up from her work. Her thin hands worked quickly, slapping the herbs together and efficiently twisting the thin cloth until it formed a little pouch that wouldn’t spill.

“Prepared for what?” Rabid questioned. Red Moon sighed heavily.

“No one escapes the pain of battle, it seems. It’s best if we have these ready before any fighting begins.”

Rabid nodded slowly, though she had little idea what Red Moon spoke of. 

“So, the Omari are fighting for us?” at this, Red Moon looked up, and stared at Rabid, her expression unreadable.

“He pledged his life to you. It is his duty to avenge you.”

With that, the women fell silent. Rabid didn’t know what to say, but the revelation caused her throat to nearly clog up with emotion. Instead of responding, she contented herself with watching Red Moon’s quick work, as her thoughts drifted to what she had missed while laying in this bed.

The sun had dropped nearly to the horizon when Stone returned. He stood in the doorway, eyeing Rabid for a moment before stepping inside.

“Are you ready to head home?” he asked softly, as if he were afraid that she was made of glass and any loud noise would break her again. Home. The word felt foreign. But this was it, now. If it wasn’t forever before, Stone was all she had left. Rabid smiled, as warmly as she could manage, and nodded.

“Yes.” The edge of his mouth curved slightly. Rabid realized, suddenly, that it was his way of holding back a smile. Remembering the smile that lit his face when she first opened her eyes, she wished he wouldn’t. It made him seem so different, so alive. 

Stone stepped forward lifted her from the bed easily, and wrapped his arm around her waist to help her walk outside. Being so close to him, Rabid suddenly realized how dirty she felt. She made a mental note to go to the river and bathe.

“Thank you, again.” Rabid whispered to Red Moon, who grabbed her hand and pressed a clump of sage firmly into her palm.

“Don’t let the darkness come back.” She said sternly.

They moved slowly across the camp as Rabid remembered what it was like to walk. After a few steps, her knees gave out. Stone caught her, and quickly scooped her up, holding her against his chest. Rabid’s face burned as she felt his muscles working against her body. He bore her weight as easily as he would a small child. Stone said nothing, intently looking straight ahead.

Rabid suddenly felt very safe, watching him care for her. Knowing he had spent each night by her side, had wished for her to come back, she decided she wanted to know him deeper. Thinking back to his one, genuine smile, she wanted to see it again.

“I didn’t realize you knew how to smile.” Rabid chanced, quietly. He looked at her then, his brow furrowing in confusion. “Earlier, I mean. You actually smiled. I’ve never seen you do that before.”

“Well, I don’t often have a reason to.” He said, matter-of-factly. It sent a strange whirl of emotion to her stomach, thinking that she was the reason for his smile.

“Ah, yes. The great and terrible Stone.” She teased. He raised an eyebrow. “So, I gave you a reason?”

He looked away from her eyes and swallowed.

“I am very happy you’re awake.” He said, then added softly. “Strangely, I found myself missing you.”

“Did you?” Rabid asked, working hard to keep her voice as calm as his was. She tried to catch his eye, but he deliberately looked straight ahead.

“It seems I am already accustomed to your friendship.” He said. Rabid cleared her throat, ready to prod more.

“You woke up, did you?” a voice Rabid didn’t recognize made her snap her mouth shut. She turned, seeing the beautiful girl from across the fire on her first night in Omarihom.

“Fox, isn’t it?” Rabid asked, smiling sweetly to hide her own irritation. Fox’s almond shaped eyes narrowed at the sound of her name in Rabid’s mouth. She glanced at Stone, who was looking at Rabid, her eyes quickly running over Rabid wrapped in Stone’s arms.

“You should have died with your Napua. That would have rid us of your weakness, once and for all.” Fox spat, hatred shining in her dark eyes. Stone’s body tensed. Rabid put her hand on his chest to keep him from speaking up for her.

“That may be true.” Rabid conceded, meeting Fox’s glare. “I may die, even still. But it won’t be because I am weak.” 

Fox looked her up and down once more, before she scoffed and stalked away. Her thin double braids swung behind her into the evening. Stone watched her intently.

“What was that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“It’s time for me to earn my name.” Rabid said, wriggling until he set her down. She needed to stand in her own strength for this. 

“I need you to train me.” she said.

His eyes flashed as he eyed her in shock.

“Rabid, you don’t have to…”

“Yes, I do.” She cut him off. “I can’t do nothing. I wasted time being weak, but now… now I need to avenge them. I know you can understand that.”

The weakness in her limbs seemed to ebb away as she forced herself to stand taller. Stone mulled this over, looking her up and down.

“This is why they sent me here.” Rabid said, before he could object. Tears began to prick at her eyes, but she took a deep breath and willed them to stay put so that they wouldn’t betray her fear.

“Come on, then.” He said. They turned and he led her slowly toward his father’s teepee, pushing open the flap to reveal Akecheta and Blood Wolf. They stopped speaking and eyed Rabid intently. Stone stepped in and joined them on the far side of the fire.

“She wants to learn to fight.” Stone said.

The three men crossed their arms, staring at her. The firelight flickering off their large bodies made them look even more foreboding, as their shadows danced behind them on the wall of the teepee. Akecheta stared at her with narrow eyes, a mocking grin plastered on his face. Rabid tried to stand tall under their scrutiny, straightening her back to her full height.

“You are Napua.” Akecheta said. “You would not last your first fight against an untrained slave.”

Blood Wolf stood silently, studying Rabid. He looked at her intently, as if trying to read her, seeing whether she was capable of what she was asking.

“Look at how small you are.” Akecheta continued. He stepped forward and poked her narrow shoulders. “You are not strong, like Omari.”

“Are not Omari daughters trained to fight, right along with their sons? I cannot be strong unless you teach me how.” she retorted.

Akecheta scoffed, looking to Blood Wolf.

“This is true. But man or woman, son or daughter, no one joins our fighters unless they are worthy of it. We cannot have you get one of our better fighters killed because you are incapable of doing your job.”

Akecheta grunted in agreement.

“And yet, what Napua asks to fight?” Blood Wolf continued, his eyes piercing her, trying to understand her. Akecheta began to protest, but the chief held up a hand, and continued,

“Why should we not train her? Her people are gone, there is no Napua way left. All she has is the Omari way, now.”

Akecheta was silent, but his eyes were dark and sullen. 

“Can we have an Omari that doesn’t know how to fight?” Blood Wolf finally looked to his warrior. “She is right. Omari women must be strong, and you will teach her how.”

Rabid’s hands trembled with electric excitement as she bit back a smile. Stone shifted his stance, clenching his jaw as he listened.

“Chief, I think that…” Akecheta began to protest, but Chief Blood Wolf silenced him with a glare.

“You were nothing when we found you, just like her. You will grant her the same chances you had. Train her. If she doesn’t stand up to your training, she won’t set foot on the battlefield.”

Akecheta looked like his eyes were on fire, but he nodded swiftly. Stone nodded to his father as well, then stepped out of the teepee, pulling Rabid with him. Akecheta stormed out behind them.

“You will regret this, Napua.” He whispered harshly. “This will not be what you are thinking.”

He stalked away, disappearing behind a row of teepees.

“Why does he hate me?” Rabid asked after Akecheta had disappeared. Stone sighed heavily and said,

“He doesn’t. He just doesn’t want someone to have something they didn’t earn.”

“Well, I’ll earn it.” Rabid said.

“Rabid, I said yes to your father to protect you. You don’t need to do this.” Stone whispered as he pulled her toward their shared teepee.

“Yes, I do.” She whispered back. “Besides, I thought you didn’t want a woman who was afraid to fight?”

“But you aren’t my woman.” Stone said, his voice quiet. “And I want to keep you safe.”

The ground before them was lit with dappled light as the moonlight was rising around them. Stone’s features were unreadable in the dim light, but his body was tense. Rabid grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop in front of her.

“My mother gave me to your people so that they would be protected. I was their weapon, their only act of war. If I don’t do this, it’s like I died right alongside them.”

“There is no going back from this, Rabid.” Stone said wearily. “I always planned to train you, and I’m not saying never, but… why now? Fighting out of anger and revenge is a way to get yourself killed. Don’t you want to grieve and heal in peace, at least for a while?”

Rabid shook her head furiously. That was the last thing she could do.

“If I sit here, thinking of my home that was burned to the ground, and of my parent’s murderers wandering the forest and stealing more girls and killing more mothers I…” she took a deep inhale, steadying her shaking voice. Then she met his eyes, examining the ring of the moon reflecting off his irises, and finally finding her voice,

“I will descend into darkness, and I will never come out again.” 

Stone huffed heavily, looking as if her words were a stake in his chest.

“I do not fear your capability, Rabid, I only fear for your well-being.”

Rabid smiled up at him, the man so intent on defending her while she had given him no reason. If he wanted to protect her, this was how to do it. There was no going back, and she didn’t want to.

“It’s time I joined this fight.” She said.

“This is all or nothing. Half-hearted intent is death. You will have to take life.” Stone grabbed her hands, holding them up for her to see. “These will have blood on them, and that is not something that you can just wash off. So tell me, and really think about it. Which do you choose?”

Rabid paused for a moment, studying his intense eyes in the moonlight. He stood with his arms crossed, ever patient. She glanced around at the teepees around her, taking in the sights that once had seemed so similar to Napuahom. Now, she realized, nothing was the same. If she wanted to survive here, she couldn’t stay the same either.

“I was born a fighter.” she said, excitement and hope already welling up inside of her even as she said it. “I choose all.”