Of Fire and Fury (Book 1: Light-Born Series)

Chapter 20 - Rabid

The history of Minaloa was littered with invasions and war. There were the Tirks, coming from across the sea for the battles in the desert. The coastal islands tried briefly to take the coast of Ohavehom, but were quickly sunk and discouraged from further attack. Even the combined forces of the Tirks and the Honu had lost a great many men in the Western Mountains, when the Omari leader Wayna led them into the dark of the forest, where they were seperated and cut down, and their bodies were thrown over the cliffs and into the sea. 

Yet none of these brief and bloody conflicts were as persistent or as devastating as those that came from Minaloa’s only landlocked border: the men from the north, Hauks. Despite the great power fabled to belong to Minaloa, the northerners had ventured from their lands countless times over the centuries. Now, as the power had faded and the tribes fragmented, they had only increased their onslaught. They marched through the lands, rampaging villages, taking young girls back to their people. No one knew why they came or the purpose all those souls had performed; all they knew was that if a girl was taken, they were never seen again.

Rabid remembered the last time they came for Napua women like it had happened that morning. She could see her father’s face, covered in blood. She could hear the screams of her mother, and the other mothers whose daughters were taken. That was the first night that she had dreamed of the fire crowned woman. It was also the reason for her name.

As they cowered on the first night of camp, and the men lay in a circle around them, Rabid awoke from the dream with her heart on fire. It nearly jumped from her chest. She was the only one awake, and in the embers of the dying flames she saw the shadows of the men around her. Something came over her then that she had never been able to identify: but she had an understanding of what would happen if she didn’t do this. Inaction would surely mean the death of her and every other girl in that camp. 

She didn’t tell the other girls. She never told her mother and father. She simply pretended that the men were asleep, and they slipped silently away into the night. They would never understand how she could do something so terrible—Rabid didn’t understand herself. How she, a frail girl born to the Napua ways, could slit the throats of sleeping men and save her family from heartbreak. When the girls returned to the village, they held a naming ceremony and bestowed upon her a name worthy of such feat: Rabid.

For her never-ending fight: Rabid.

For her courage and wit: Rabid.

For how she saved her people without fear: Rabid.

If only they knew.

In the nine winters that passed after that night, she had felt even more out of place with her people. Though her blood, her language, and her family were, her heart was no longer Napua. She doubted it ever had been. From then on, she felt out of place: like the fighter from her dreams with nothing to fight. And though she had controlled that urge for blood with everything in her, her people had always seen that something inside her just wasn’t right. She wasn’t one of them, she didn’t fit in with their peaceful ways.

Now, with Stone’s questions, every memory Rabid had shoved away, vowing to take to the grave, was brought back to life. The feeling of blood between her fingers. The memory of death from her own hand. She thought she was going to be sick. 

He knows. 

Something she had never told anyone, and somehow Stone had figured it out during their first night together, like the story was written on her skin.

“Yes… it was me.” Rabid finally managed to choke out, her fingers curling in the earth, her heart battering inside of her like a wild animal. She couldn’t lie, not anymore. Not now, when she could see the faces of the sleeping men, feel the warmth of their blood on her hands, the cold of a blade. It was no longer a distant memory, it had grown claws and was scratching it’s way out of her brain. 

But then, she looked at Stone. All the disgust she expected at knowing her monstrous nature was nowhere to be found. Instead, his face was full of concern.

“How old were you?” he asked, softly. His large hand still on her shoulder, attempting to comfort her.

“Six winters.” She whispered. Stone’s brow furrowed. Rabid waited patiently for him to turn and walk away, finally realizing what a mess he had brought upon himself by taking her in. Instead, his strong hand wiped away the tears on her cheek and he cupped her chin.

“You carried this alone, all this time?” he whispered. His kindness had stolen her ability to speak, so she simply nodded. He continued, his voice was as soft as silk.

“I’m so sorry, Rabid. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Rabid took a deep, shaky breath, still reeling from his reaction as fresh hot tears poured from her eyes.

“I can’t fight without… without seeing their faces.” Rabid said. She sat back, taking a deep breath and blowing it out through her lips. “Every time I draw blood, it feels like I’m back there.”

“And it scares you?” he said, nodding as if he understood.

“No.” Rabid shook her head. 

“I’m not afraid of killing, or even of dying.” she swallowed and looked up at him, his brow furrowing in confusion. “When I killed them, I liked it. I… I’m afraid of myself, Stone.”

Stone took a deep breath as he stared at her, his eyes never wavering. Rabid knew because she watched to see if they would. Then, to her surprise, his lips twitched like he wanted to smile.

“You’re a warrior, through and through.” he breathed, nodding.

“What’s wrong with me?” Rabid whispered. His eyes flashed, as if he were angry again.

“There is nothing wrong with you.” 

Rabid blinked back tears and nodded slightly. Stone chewed his lip slightly, then sighed and said.

“You don’t have to keep this secret alone, anymore, Rabid. But I think you need to keep it between us.”

“Why?” Rabid said, suddenly nervous.

“If other Omari knew, they would think the Napua were teaching their children to fight.”

“Why would that matter?” Rabid asked.

“That would mean that you didn’t need us… me.” Something flashed in his eyes. “It would mean your father would have tricked us into a union under the guise of needing protection, and I don’t think you would be safe from my father’s wrath.”

Rabid felt the urge to wrap her arms around him, then. Instead, she touched the hand on her cheek with her fingertips. He looked alarmed and pulled his hand back, standing quickly. Rabid stood as well, studying his face as he gazed away and into the village. His reaction sent a sting through her chest. Instead of think about it, she changed the subject.

“How did you know? About me, I mean.” Rabid asked. Stone sighed heavily.

“I knew you had to have earned your name. And with the stories I’ve heard from the Hauk’s, and the timeline… it just made the most sense.”

Rabid nodded slowly.

“I understand why you don’t want to… pretend… about us anymore. Especially now. We can live seperately.” She said, silently cursing the desperation she could feel rising in her voice—but she couldn’t deny the disappointment that was curling itself into a knot in her stomach. She was alone, unwanted, as always.

“What, you think I scare so easily?” Stone joked, but there was no amusement in his eyes.

“But, in the forest you said…”

“I said that out of anger, Rabid. I didn’t mean it.” He sighed, looking at his hands. Rabid could feel the thrumming under her skin again, her souvenir from the cave giving her boldness. It was doing something to her, digging up emotions she didn’t know she had. She stepped closer and put her hand on Stone’s chest, causing him to inhale sharply.

“Do you feel anything, Stone?” she asked, forcing her voice out, despite its shaking. He breathed deep and nodded.

“I do feel, Rabid, despite what it appears.”

“What do you feel, then?” she asked hopefully. It was several long moments before he spoke again, his voice little more than whisper.

“I feel as though you have broken something inside of me, and released something I thought I had long buried.”