Of Fire and Fury (Book 1: Light-Born Series)

Chapter 18 - Stone

Stone awoke surrounded by the thick darkness of night. His senses were piqued, but as he stilled and listened, he heard nothing but the beating of his own heart. He glanced around the campsite, seeing Kizi, the men, his father. Then, he saw what had awoken him. Rabid was sitting up, curled in a ball in her skins, her arms wrapped around her knees. In the dim light of a burned-up fire he could see her shuddering shoulders, as her whole body was wracked by silent sobs. A sudden ache welled up in his chest.

He stood silently and quickly navigated the sleeping bodies around him until he was beside Rabid. She sat straight up, wiping her face quickly with her hands. Stone knelt in front of her, but she refused to meet his eyes. As he reached a hand toward her, she pulled violently away. Without a word, she lay back on her skins, pulling them tightly around herself.

“Rabid.” Stone whispered, pleading.

“Leave me be, Stone.” She muttered under her breath. Stone refused, and stayed for several long moments, hoping she would let him near her. When she didn’t move, he returned to his skins and pulled them silently next to her, where he should have slept all along, if his pride hadn’t gotten in the way. He spent the rest of the night intently listening for any movement, any sound: but all he heard was the soft wind blowing through the trees around them. His eyes were open as the blue black of the night turned a soft grey.

As the sun just began coloring the edge of the horizon, the camp began to stir. They were up and riding before dawn had even broken over the horizon, everyone wanting to leave the sacred site behind them—everyone but Stone. They rode harder and faster than they had on their first day’s journey and made it back to Omarihom without another Hauk sighting. The entire ride, Stone tried to push back the rising disappointment he had felt growing in his belly.

Nothing happened. He had expected to experience something, anything. The cave had strange energy, as it always did, but he didn’t know if that was because the Great Spirit was returning, or because the years of history made it feel like a house of ghosts. All he had wanted was to prove that his ways were true; that the last time he experienced the power of the tombs wasn’t going to be the last. Then, he wouldn’t bear his burdens alone. He wouldn’t be shunned for listening to a voice that no one else heard. He wouldn’t be hated for taking on the responsibility of a woman and her murdered people.

Rabid didn’t speak to him when they stopped outside Omarihom, leaving their horses along the river. He trailed silently behind her. Whatever bad feelings she had toward him, he deserved them. He clenched his jaw and followed her through the village in silence. When they reached their teepee, Stone paused outside and watched Rabid vanish through the doorway covered in skins.

A strange mix of tightness and discomfort pinned him there for a long moment before he felt a soft nudge: fix this.

“Rabid.” He said, sternly, as she pointedly unpacked her skins and ignored him. He softened his voice and tried again. “Rabid, please.”

Remaining silent, Rabid tried to maneuver around him and leave the teepee. Stone caught her bicep, her muscles tensed under his hand. Her eyes were full of a storm as she glared at him.

“What.” She said, finally, pulling her arm from his hand.

“I’m sorry.” Stone said.

“Forget about it.” She said, turning back toward the open tent flap. “While you’re at it, forget about me.”

“Don’t ignore me. At least talk to me.” Stone pleaded. 

“Talk about what?” Rabid was seething, he could see a fire behind her eyes. She was looking for a fight, he could tell.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Stone said. Rabid ignored his pleas and stepped outside, almost stomping like a pouting child.

“Please, stop. I’m trying to apologize.” Stone said, exhaling heavily, his strong tone already softening. He followed her outside and into the fading light. She paused, glancing around and realizing she had nowhere to go. With no place to hide from the conflict, she spun on her heels and fixed him with her stare. He recognized the look from their weeks of training together: she was ready to fight.

“Fine. Let’s talk.”

“Okay.” Stone breathed, opening his mouth to start his apology. 

“You don’t feel anything.” she interupted him. Stone was taken aback, unsure of how to respond. When he said nothing, Rabid squinted slightly and tilted her head.

“You didn’t mean anything you’ve said to me, did you?” she said, a hint of emotion wavering her voice.

“What?” he said, still unsure what she was fishing for. This new directness was off-putting. Something strange and strong flickered behind her dark eyes: something he had never seen before.

“Why is your name Stone?” she continued her verbal assault. “You said that we are named for what they see in us.”

Stone was suddenly very aware of her close proximity as she took another step forward. He took a step back, swallowing the strange and tingling sensation in his stomach.

“You really don’t feel anything at all, do you? Everything you’ve said about protecting me, caring what happens to me… You can’t mean what you don’t feel.” her last word was thick with venom.

“What are you trying to do?” Stone growled at last, as the words pricked something in his chest. She was trying to get inside his head, to punish him for his angry words. He could feel a wall rising inside him, between her and him—he was not going to let her hurt him.

“You don’t feel anything about me, you don’t care about anyone at all. So, when it gets inconvenient for you to be with me, when I don’t agree with you, you’ll just break your promise.” She said, matter-of-factly. Her face was resigned, her arms crossed, yet there was the smallest hint of a quiver in her mouth.

Stone breathed deeply, trying to understand the deep cut he felt at her words and the strange sensations running through his body as he looked at her. Though his anger flared, he knew she wasn’t wrong. After Alea, he had chosen the cold over the hurt, as if a thick blanket of snow had covered all of his feelings. For years, he hadn’t felt a thing—he hadn’t wanted to. But now, because of Rabid, those things were thawing. That thought terrified him.

“So, you think you’ve figured me out, do you?” he said, his voice low and quiet. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know you don’t understand how I could feel something about killing a boy younger than I am.” Her voice shook now, and he could finally see the fear and fury welling up in the tears in her eyes. “I wasn’t born into this. I was raised to respect life above all else, Hauk or not. We Napua may have lost our Bonder power, but we didn’t lose what that connection taught us. I’m not a blood-thirsty Omari. I’m not cold-blooded like you are.”

“I’m trying to protect you.” He growled, her words stinging worse than the knife in his gut. “From the beginning, everything I have done was to protect you!”

“Why!? You don’t care about me, you don’t care about anything!” her voice was almost a laugh now, hysterical and challenging.

“What do you want to hear?” He scoffed, but inside him his thoughts were screaming out. 

Of course I care for you, is that what you want to hear? He wanted to say. 

How every inch of my body responds to your very breath? 

That looking at you makes my skin crawl with desire? 

Instead, Stone clenched his jaw tight, refusing to give her the power of knowing his deepest heart.

“I just want you to be honest, stop pretending.” she sighed, her eyes flickering with emotion he couldn’t decipher.

“Honesty, really? That’s what you want from me?” he said, her challenge raised his pride to a greater height than he thought possible. Her eyes narrowed.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“You’ve been lying to me. Why don’t you be honest about how you really escaped from the Hauks all those years ago.”

Rabid’s eyes widened and in an instant the color had drained from her face. Her anger was quickly replaced by fear. She swallowed hard, looking at the ground. Her mouth opened and closed as if she was trying to think of something to say.

“What… what are you talking about.” She managed to stammer, avoiding Stone’s gaze.

“Do you really think I believed your story about running from the Hauks? Do you think I’m stupid?” he said, stepping toward her now.

“I… I…” she stammered, stepping backward.

“Remember, Rabid, honesty.” He goaded her. Her hands began to tremble, even after she had balled them into fists at her sides. She shook her head. The sight of tears suddenly pouring from her eyes pricked at his chest, but he was angry: more than he had been in a long time, and he couldn’t stop it.

“I know you were the ghost in the forest.” Stone pushed again.

“What ghost?” she whispered, her voice small and constricted. 

“The Hauks came to my village, too, and I remember their stories. They talked of a ghost in the forest, who had killed their men and taken their girls. Their Napua girls.”

Rabid finally met his gaze, her dark eyes full of a desperate fear. All the guile she had before was gone and she was simply a lost little girl again. Slowly, as if the fight was draining from her body, Rabid slid to her knees. The shaking in her hands was racking her whole body, as a visceral fear was taking over. Stone watched in astonishment, unsure how to react to her fear. Rabid buried her face in her hands.

“Tell me the truth.” Stone said, softer this time.

“I can’t.” Rabid whispered into palms. Her breathing was coming in quick bursts, as if she could barely hold herself together. Stone placed a hand on her shoulder and said softly,

“Tell me who you really are.”