Beyond Fate

She’s Gone

(Mitchell pov)

I sat at my desk unable to concentrate, the events of the last few days playing on my mind over and over again. The fact that someone had targeted me and my pup specifically meant it had nothing to do with the pack; it was personal. Killing an alpha on pack lands is well known and unfortunately legal for our kind though we have tried to be a little more diplomatic in the coming years. We were still brutal animals at heart, however killing an alpha off their territory didn’t give you rights to the pack or it’s land. The title would be handed down to the Beta or alpha heir if they were of age.

I racked my brains to think of any old enemies I had that might be behind this but I was coming up blank. Not because I had no enemies from the past years but I didn’t know of any bold enough to attempt an attack on me. The truth was I had developed a reputation while I was trying to regain control of my sanity. It’s easy to lose yourself to the beast but it’s not easy to come back. That’s why so many rouges become vicious mindless monsters and nine times out of ten they had to be put down.

I’d seen enough c*****e from my twelve months when Lucas and I joined the council elite warriors. The clean up jobs on rogue attacks were enough to turn anyones stomach, it was extremely rare to see a rogue rejoin a pack once they had been out on their own too long, I had once feared the same fate awaited me until Lucas found me and brought me back from the brink. I had been more monster than man at that time. He had even almost put me down himself once. I thank the goddess that he didn’t for whatever reason he decided to help me and I wouldn’t be sitting here right now as the alpha of my pack if it wasn’t for him. That was the reason I wouldn’t entertain the idea Lucas was behind any of these attacks, he couldn’t be, there was always a reason for his actions and although I couldn’t see it yet I knew it had nothing to do with anything sinister. Lucas was a good man and I would stand by that until my dying day even if I didn’t agree with what he had done to Alisha. He had to be protecting her from something of that I’m sure.

I was pulled from my thoughts when a gentle knocking sounded at my door. I shouted for the person to enter expecting it to be Nathan again coming to moan about the fact I hadn’t scaled Adam Clayton for ‘training his omega daughter’, Nathan’s words not mine, not that I was any better.

The look in Alisha’s eyes today had devastated me. Her words echoed in my head and I knew what an i***t I’d been, she had heard me speaking with Nathan about her. I knew something hadn’t been right for a few days. She hadn’t been her usual smiling self. If I had been with Mina she would vanish only speaking with short answers that would never lead to a conversation. I rubbed my hand down my face growling at myself thinking about the look of hurt in her eyes. It had made me want to hold her and tell her I didn’t mean any of it, that I was just pissed off at Nathan for pushing my buttons and it seemed like the fastest way to shut him down. I didn’t want him talking about Alisha. I didn't want him thinking about her. That day we had all gone out for ice cream together had felt special like someone had placed the three of us in our own bubble. That moment had shifted something inside me.

I needed to make sense of what I was feeling so I hadn’t wanted to talk about it until I knew what it all meant. The truth was Alisha felt different from the other females in this pack. It was like she saw me. I hadn't been about to pour my heart out to Nathan of all people about it so I had said whatever I knew he wanted to hear in order to get him off the subject. It didn’t escape my notice how he always had it out for her, nor had it escaped my notice the looks of lust he gave her when he thought no one was around. This afternoon for example I’d seen the way he looked at her while he thought our backs were turned. He had kept trying to touch her and it had driven my wolf mad. What right did he have to touch her or any female besides his own mate Kelly. I had been surprised at how much his proximity had enraged me. I'd gone towards them because I couldn’t stand the sight of him near her anymore but then she had run from me. Now I don't know how to fix it.

“ Alpha?” I almost jumped, Stunned at how close the voice was in my office. I looked up to see the beautiful redhead Natalia Coleson staring down at me, her pale skin and doe-like features made my heart hammer in my chest every time I laid eyes on her. She tucked a strand behind her ear blushing slightly, my c**k stirred at the sight of her how many times had Rose looked at me with that same shy smile on her face.

“ er…um… apologise miss Coleson i'm not myself tonight” I mumbled looking back to my files, she was wearing a pair of ripped denim shorts and a black tank top allowing her fiery red hair to hang loose.

“ It's fine alpha your working hard for your pack. I just thought I’d check in to let you know my aunt's estate is almost handled..” she smiled letting me see her beautiful brown eyes.

“ Are you leaving?” s**t. I couldn’t help sounding a little panicked by the idea. She didn’t miss it either because her smile widened.

“ unless there was someone who wanted me to stay” she hinted tapping her fingers against my desk.

“ by the way how is your nanny I can’t remember her name?” She asked when I didn’t respond to her bold statement.

“ Alisha she’s fine thank you” I frowned wondering what she may have heard I didn’t want more gossip being spread through the pack about Alisha.

“ She had quite a nasty fall the other night, I’ve never had someone swoon over me before” she giggled lighthearted I knew she didn’t mean anything by it but something inside me didn’t like her making jokes at Alisha’s expense.

“ well if that’s all miss coleson I need to be getting on” I dismissed her going back to my paperwork hoping she would get the message.

“ oh ok, we’ll I just wanted to give you this as a parting gift and thank you for having me in your pack” she stepped towards the desk placing a bottle of scotch on the table, it wasn’t really my kind of drink personally not that you could tell from a glance around my office. I still had my dad's selection of single malts in the various Cristal Decatur’s in the corner of the room.

“ thank you Natalia that’s very generous of you” I smiled taking the bottle from her.

“ well I could always help you drink it if you fancy some company” she said not waiting for me to answer she moved towards the corner, grabbing two tumbler glasses.

“ I appreciate that but I’m very busy right now” I frowned at her not really appreciating her brazen attitude, she grabbed the bottle pouring some of the liquid into one of the glasses before she finally stopped to look at me. I could tell she was slightly hurt but I just wasn’t in the mood right now.

“ ok maybe another night” she persisted but I didn’t acknowledge her hoping she would take the hint and leave. Thankfully after a few agonising moments she did and I heard the door close with a soft click.

I worked for a while longer hating that I was getting nowhere at some point I began drinking and before I knew it I had polished off most of the bottle on my desk. I felt tipsy which was unusual for me off one bottle I figured I was just tired so I gave up working and headed to my room, dropping on the bed ready to end the day. I didn’t notice straight away the presence of another person until I heard the door click shut. I looked up to see the blurred outline of a woman stood in the corner as she began to come towards me. The soft moonlight bathing her in a slight glow.

“ what are you doing?” I asked as Natalia’s naked body came into my line of sight. Through my clouded haze and the lack of light I couldn’t help what the sight of her did to my mind allowing memories of a happier time in my life when a moment like this would have ignited every fibre of my being.

“ What does it look like I’m doing” she said boldly, unfazed by her lack of clothes she came towards me. “ like what you see?” She gave a smug smile, staring down at herself with all the confidence a beautiful female would, that wasn’t my rose she had always been so shy she hadn’t even let me see her naked the first time I had made love to her.

“ put some clothes on Natalia you're embarrassing yourself” I tried to say with conviction but my delivery failed to stop her.

“ We both know that’s not true, I know you want me, people talk a lot around here, I’m just like her alpha” she whispered as her floral scent drew closer to me. I looked away trying to regain control. She wasn’t rose I told myself dismissing the deeply hidden memories trying to drag themselves to the surface. She stopped in front of me but I wouldn’t look at her.

“ You can say her name if you want, I don't mind” she whispered close to my ear. She ran her fingers through my hair the same way Rose did but I wouldn’t look at her. I was hanging on by a thread as her sweet scent evolved me more.

I pulled her hand away from me just as she kneeled in front of me placing her hands on my thighs. “ Mitchell look at me” she pleaded I clenched my jaw hearing in my drunk filled head the same sweet voice rose would use on me every time, the voice that could bring down my walls of defence so easily hearing it again, it made my heart clench at the pain that would never be forgotten came crashing to the surface. Lost in my thoughts I gasped when a soft hand placed itself against my cheek and I looked down into the beautiful sparkling eyes of my mate. rose.

Her innocent loving face staring back at me, the woman I missed more than anything else in this world, the woman who’s loss had caused me so much pain I had almost lost myself to my beast. I gulped hard my eyes taking in her naked chest and thighs she smiled sweetly at me her eyes sparkling then turning black with lust but her innocent face never changed it was rose she was here with me involuntary my hand went to her red hair stroking the strands between my fingers, still so soft.

She rose slightly, coming to straddle her naked body against my lap causing my member to stiffen, feeling her warm body so close to mine, her hands came to rest on my chest and she ever so gently pushed us back into the bed, her eyes never leaving mine.

Awakening something inside she had no business doing. Memories of rose in this way and this moment all swirled together clouding everything and bending it all into one. I had been with women since Rose of course I had but this was different. It felt like an invasion of mine and Rose’s past making it dirty and impure but it felt so good to have even a glimpse of her back with me I couldn’t make it stop.

Rose was exactly the same. She was so gentle, so innocent yet she brought me to my knees every time. I couldn’t take it any more, her scent, her body, I needed her. I grabbed her hips feeling her soft creamy skin under my fingers flipping us both so I had her lay beneath me she was completely at my Mercy lust filled her innocent face and she gasped when I ground my hips into her core her delicate hands found their way up the inside of my shirt stroking my abs.

At that moment I didn’t see anyone but Rose, her scent her soft skin, her delicate touch, I had her back, she was finally with me again and I wasn’t letting her go.

“ Rose I missed you so much” I whispered, placing soft kisses on her neck, making her moan. I ground my hips again, she wrapped her legs around my waist and her hands came around to my back. I felt the slight sting as her nails dug into my back but it only spurred me on more.

“ Yes alpha, please. I need more” she arched her back letting me know how desperate she was for me like she always did.

..so good…so sweet…she was intoxicating…

“ Rose” I whispered into her bare skin as I lay delicate kiss after kiss along her body.

“ Yes, take me, I’m her, do whatever you want just do it now” she screamed in desperation clutching the sheets and panting hard. I frowned suddenly when something didn’t feel right. Rose was never so desperate. Why was she now? I shook my head trying to find some gravity when I felt her legs tighten around my waist pulling me towards her.

“ Alpha f**k me NOW!!” Frustrated, she pulled herself up, placing her hands on my waistband and ripping open my jeans, tearing the fabric and making me gasp. I forget everything else but something still didn’t feel right. Rose had never been aggressive.

She looked up at me, her eyes wild. “Now alpha” she pulls me back down onto the bed taking me in hand and positioning me at her entrance waiting for me to make the last move. I wanted this, my beautiful Rose back in my arms again this was all I ever wanted, my girl, our pup, my family together just like we had planned.

Alisha, her face suddenly flashed through my mind, memories of all my time with Mina, Alisha had been the one there not Rose. Memories flooded my mind of time spent with my girls, my girls but they weren't the same, the beautiful memories blurred and all I could see was Mina and Alisha but not Rose. Those were distant.

Her hand came up to stroke my face “ I’m the same as her alpha exactly the same” she kissed me gently I’m sure hoping to reignite the passion of moments ago but it left me feeling cold like someone had thrown a bucket of ice in my face. I looked into the eyes of the beautiful woman beneath me but she wasn’t my Rose, she was gone, no matter how much I wished that wasn't true it was.

In an instant I felt my sanity returning and the haze from moments before clearing completely In one swift motion I lifted myself off her and away from the bed retreating to the far side of the room. she frowned in confusion. “ alpha? What’s wrong?” Natalia said, lifting herself up onto her elbows.

What had I almost done? I felt dirty. I could taste the bitter sting of bile in the back of my throat. My beautiful Rose. I missed her more than life itself, she had been my sunshine but she was irreplaceable, this woman in front of me no matter how much she resembled her she wasn’t her and her presence had invaded the precious memories I had kept safe and locked away, this moment with Natalia was soiling them and making them now less special somehow because I would always be reminded of this moment when I almost fell.

None of this was real, just a drunken fog and beautiful memories of a past that I would never regain. Those memories haunted me but they were not all I had left of Rose to cherish. I had our pup. I had Mina, I had Alisha. Maybe we weren't friends and I had screwed it up but I still had her stories of Rose. every time she would relive memories of the friend she adored to Mina it filled me with warmth and reminded me it wasn’t just me that had loved Rose. Alisha always had a way of making me relive my time with Rose without it feeling like I was being torn apart but this moment did the opposite.

“ No!….. you're not her” I said the weight of my words taking the air from my lungs. Without looking back at her I left the room. I could hear her shouts of protest but I ignored her needing to be far away from her and far away from this house. I didn’t stop until I was busting through the back door, fresh air hit my lungs and I inhaled deeply relishing in the cool night air.

It wasn’t enough though one inhale had my heart hammering in my chest thinking about what I might have done. My head was a mess and all I could smell was Natalia. She didn’t smell like Rose. Although the floral scent was remarkably similar, Rose's scent had always brought me comfort and calm, more proof of how much Natalia wasn’t like Rose. She was just a poor man’s copy, she would never be Rose and no matter what I did, I couldn’t change that.

Needing to rid myself of this night I started with my clothes that reeked of her. I didn't want her scent on me. It made me nauseous. So I ran off the porch of the pack house and into the forest behind, not sure where I was heading but not wanting to stop. I felt my bones crack and my body shift, soon my two legs were replaced with four giant paws without breaking a stride. The ground shook under my mighty paws that thundered through the thick over grown forest I felt the wet mud under my claws and the sound of dried twigs and crunching leaves were all that was heard in the dark forest.

My wolf ran and ran, not stopping even when pack warriors around the territory tried to mindlink me, I ignored them. I just wanted to be alone, to escape this crippling feeling that I would never again see my mate. I ran faster, pushing my limbs until they burned and cried for me to stop but I didn’t, my lungs gasped for air and I felt myself becoming lightheaded but I couldn’t stop I had to keep running if I didn’t then it would catch up to me the brutal feeling that had cost me my sanity for a time.

It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough as sure as the moon would rise so would the pain. The pain that was tearing through my heart only intensified, masking the hardship of my body. I couldn’t out run this pain and before I could stop myself my wolf let out an almighty grieving howl.

When my wolf was done I collapsed to the ground exhausted and emotionally drained. When would it be enough, how bad did this pain need to become before it would kill me completely.

My thoughts of rose slowly receded once again to the back of my mind enough that I could compose myself. Then suddenly new thoughts entered my mind, ones of the people I still had in my life and one in particular I had once again completely crippled and betrayed her trust even now after all that she had still somehow managed to get through to me and memories of her had saved me for making a terrible mistake.

All my thoughts could do was go to Alisha and how once again she had saved me even if it was only in my mind but I had completely f****d up probably the only true friendship i had in this pack. I was surrounded by wolves in every direction I turned since the day I’d come home but none of them knew my pain knew me they didn’t care. I was a man surrounded by others yet I’d never felt more alone.

( Alisha pov)

I pulled the covers over Mina stroking her soft curls as I did, her steady snores letting me know she was out cold. I looked lovingly down at her watching her nussle her most favourite Disney princess soft toy, she had them all but Cinderella was her favourite. I walked to the end of her bed scooping up her belle dress up dress and sparkly shoes popping them back into her wardrobe with all the others before heading back into the nursery.

I felt a chill as I went in not remembering it being so cold when I went to put Mina to bed, looking around the room I noticed that the glass doors that lead onto her balcony had been left open. I frowned because I hadn’t opened them for a few weeks now. I went to them closing them up making sure I locked it this time.

When I moved back I noticed a shadowy figure on the floor slumped slightly against the wall making me gasp I was already in my fighting stance when a familiar woodsy scent accompanied with a large amount of alcohol wafted it’s way to my nostrils.

“ alpha?” I whispered seeing Mitchell in a heap on the floor it was dark but I could easily tell he was in a state there was the smell of dirt and blood mixed with his scent and I feared he was hurt but what disturbed me most was he was completely naked what happened to him.

“ Mitchell what happened? Were you attacked?” He continued to stare at the wall as if I weren't even there I wasn’t even sure if he was sober enough to acknowledge I was there in his hand he kept twisting a flask over between his fingers as if deciding on whether or not to drink. I snatched it from his hand before he could make that decision. if it was anything like that liquor he’d been drinking that first day I’d met him in the nursery I wouldn’t do him any good.

“ Mitchell tell me what happened?” I whispered grabbing his face with both my hands, making him look at me, he looked so lost but his eyes focused on me finally.

“ it wasn’t her, nothing will ever be her, she’s gone” I had no idea what he was talking about but nothing good had happened to him tonight I needed to get him to his room before someone saw him. I grabbed Mina’s patch work blanket off the back of the arm chair wrapping it around Mitchell’s giant body as best I could it looked tiny on him but it would have to do it would cover up anything important.

I did my best to help him up off the ground but I had to admit I underestimated how much muscle the guy had on him.

“ s**t next time remind me to mindlink some warriors to help carry your heavy ass” I joked to try and lighten the mood as we made our way slowly through the nursery, there was no way I was letting anyone see him like this.

“ hundred percent pure alpha muscle baby” he slurred as we half stumbled out of the room, he knocked the table in the centre of the room sending Mina’s pencils flying everywhere I cringed as they hit the hardwood floor hoping the noise wouldn’t wake Mina. I needed to get him to his room so he could sleep this off.

We made it out into the hallway. I peered round the door first to make sure no one was around before I began to move again. The blanket around him opened slightly, Mitchell didn’t notice nor did he seem to notice my hand slipped trying to cover I’m but I missed and my hand collided with a hundred percent pure alpha muscled eight pack. My breath hitched in the back of my throat and I quickly righted myself, recovering him with the blanket.

As we reached his bedroom he suddenly pulled back and became like a statue, unmovable. I looked up at him frowning but all I saw was pure fear in his eyes.

“ Mitchell?” I asked.

“ not in there… I can’t” he begged, I just nodded and headed towards mine and Lucas' old room. No one had been in there since I had moved out so it would be clean. When we got inside I sat Mitchell on the bed turning on the light causing him to curse and rub his eyes.

“ Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked him going to to the bathroom getting some fresh water to clean a few of the wounds on his body they would heal quick enough, they didn’t look to be anything sinister more like self inflicted accept for some claw marks on his back which I didn’t even want to ask about.

“ I f****d up alisha, I’m f*****g up everything. The pack hates me because I’m not running things the way my father did, I’m one bad decision away from the elders issuing challenges against me” I looked at him stunned by his revelations even though there was definitely more too this than just a few hatful pack members, he wasn’t ready to talk about it but I knew he was in pain as my alpha I could feel it.

“ No one said being alpha was going to be easy, if it was, anyone could do it, the elders just need putting in their place, let them know who’s boss. Let them know your not going to just bend to their will” Mitchell was a strong alpha he could tame the narrow minded back into their box he wasn’t weak he had been given so many devastating blows for someone so young it was natural to question his leadership especially when they had clearly been expecting the young submissive boy that had left not the strong alpha he had become.

“ I’m sorry for what i said before” Mitchell whispered looking down at the ground as though he couldn’t look me in the eye.

“ Well your gift got you out of the dog house” I chuckled “ thank you it was beautiful” I smiled genuinely and he finally looked at me.

“ Besides it’s not like you didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, I am just an omega and alphas and omegas aren't friends” I dipped my head sadly the thought of his words making my chest contract tightly thinking about how much it had hurt. I carried on cleaning his wounds, So caught up in my task I gasped when he held my chin and made me look at him.

“ the title isn’t important, you are Alisha Clayton, omega, Beta, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change how exemptional you are and I am sorry for what was said” His intense green eyes looked so sincere and I knew how sorry he was.

“ well it takes a true alpha to admit he was wrong so you're forgiven and you do have at least one person you can trust” I smiled at him.

“ make that two” both our heads whipped in the direction of the open door to see Johnny. Part of me wondered why he’d be in the pack house this late. I frowned at him secretly hoping it had nothing to do with a certain omega female as he promised that was over. Johnny ignored my look and moved into the room coming to sit on the other side of Mitchell.

“ bottom line you're our alpha, we got your back no matter what. whatever you have to face know you're not facing it alone” Johnny looked at me nodding his head with a slight smile. we didn’t always see eye to eye and goddess knows we had all had our problems but he was right. Mitchell was our alpha; Right now Mitchell needed to know he wasn’t in this alone.I looked into his eyes for the first time that night seeing genuine hope, even if it was only me and Johnny at his back he knew he wasn’t facing any of this alone.