Beyond Fate

Broken

(Alisha pov, 3 days earlier)

I woke up screaming, my nightmare had gripped me full force. This time it had been as if I was reliving that awful day I had lost the only real friend I’d ever had and now all I could fixate on was those damn red eyes.

Ten days it’s been, ten whole days since I’ve been banished from the pack house. Ten days since the rogues attacked. Ten long days since I’d seen my munchkin.

Dad called Alpha Felix as soon as I’d left the pack house. Something told him the new alpha would not be reasonable since he’d passed sentence on me, on the words of rumours and half truths the pack members had told him. Then the rogue attack had happened so I guess everyone had more important things to think about right now.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy with Mitchell taking over and I wasn’t sure if I’d be allowed to keep caring for Mina as much but I’d never expected him to call me a murderer and forbid me from seeing Mina ever again. I couldn’t believe he’d do that, was he not aware of the facts surrounding that day. The case file on Rose wasn’t pack knowledge but I’d thought at least Alpha Mitchell would know the truth or he did and saw the truth, I was a f*****g failure I’d failed to protect Rose.I’d been there when she’d died.

After they had left me in the forest I’d managed to get to the main road by the pack house and by that I mean dragged my agonising body so I was in sight of others, hopefully someone would find me before I bled to death, eventually my mom had come looking for me, she had found me just in the nick of time.

By the time we’d gotten to the pack hospital I got word Rose had gone into labour due to the trauma and Mina was already born. Rose was wounded but she was ok and so happy. I still remember being wheeled into her room…. against doctors advice of course. Rose was so pale but she was beaming down at this tiny little bundle in her arms. She smiled, handing me her precious baby. Mina was so perfect, I fell instantly in love with her.

The anaemia however was slowing down Rose’s healing, by the second day her wounds were infected and along with the trauma of child birth on her body she wasn’t strong enough to survive.

She didn’t even have the strength to shift to speed up the healing process, by the third evening we lost her. I refused to leave her the whole time, always hoping for some miracle that would save Rose but no miracle ever came.

Before Rose died she’d made me promise I’d always be there for Mina and I always had been. Now Alpha Jerkface’s order meant I had to break my promise to her. I've never been this long without Mina. My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my body and crushed into a million pieces.

I pulled myself up sitting on the edge of my bed, standing on shaky legs. I went to my mirror in my bedroom, my thigh was healed now but I hadn’t done much but lay around in bed since the night at the hospital. I was weak and I felt it, looking at myself I looked a mess, I was falling into a black hole of depression and I didn’t care anymore.

Mina had been as much my life line as I was hers when Rose had died, more so in fact given my current state.

At least Mina would never understand what she’d lost, how special her mom was, sure people will tell her but she’d never understand the feeling of actually knowing her. I was grateful in a way. Look at me I’d only known her mother personally for less than a year but in that time I’d come to depend on her friendship completely. Rose had been the first person outside my family to ever care about me.

I pulled my cami strap to one side looking in the mirror at the silver looking scar that lay on my right shoulder just to the side of my collarbone it angled down stopping just beside my shoulder blade at my back. It almost looked like a mate mark only they normally took the shape of a half moon once healed mine was wider like a full moon with its rays coming away at the edges. I might have thought it beautiful if it hadn't carried such a painful memory.

I stroked my fingers absentmindedly across the raised skin.

“ Are you planning on getting dressed today?” I jumped looking in the mirror seeing my mother standing staring at me in the bedroom doorway, her long dark hair like silk, tied back in a high ponytail. She was wearing a patterned training bra you could clearly make out under her white baggy T-shirt and yoga pants, she’d been training already. Of course she had. The woman was like clockwork; you could set your watch to her daily routine.

Mom's concern was justified. I was an early riser too. I'd never been one to lounge around the house in my P.J’s that honour was reserved for Johnny.

Since the incident at the Alpha ceremony and the rogue attack I hadn’t left my room, at first it was so my wounds could heal but that was days ago and now I was just throwing a pity party, with myself as the guest of honour.

For the last several days I’d lay in my pit thinking about how much I kept screwing up, going over and over the incident at the hospital in excruciating detail, how I managed to escape with my life that night I’ll never understand.

I’d gone storming out into that hospital hallway that in itself was a Miracle with my leg in the state it was. I hadn’t even known what I was shouting but I kept going roaring in the direction of all four males not believing my ears. They were actually saying that somehow those boys had been weak.

…..they fought for this pack they died for this pack, one could have gotten away after I freed him, he could have ran from help but he stayed to fight like a true warrior would, the other died in my arms bleeding to death after those rouges all but ripped his body to shreds he knew he was dying he knew I couldn’t save him but he didn’t cry like the boy he was on the outside he felt honoured to die beside his friend like the true warrior that he was…” I blacked out what I was saying after that, I was screaming by the end but what was bad was no one stopped me.

Not until Johnny eventually grabbed me pulling me to him shielding me from everyone he said something I didn’t hear to the other men. That was when I looked further up the corridor seeing Mrs Stone sobbing in Colin Stone's arms, my face a look of horror realising the boy that had died in my arms was a stone. That was why he’d looked familiar when I’d seen him at the border; he was Colin Stone's brother.

Colin was Johnny's friend in school; they had all been part of the same group. Now I stood staring in horror at his heartbroken mother crumbling to the floor. The only thing stopping her descent was Colin standing behind her holding her to his giant body. Colin looked towards me with hate in his eyes whilst trying to console his sobbing mother and I realised what I’d done. Not only in my blind rage had I revealed the pack was mourning two lost warriors but also detailed how they had died in front of his family. I shrank into Johnny, sobbing into his chest.

“ Clayton, get her out of here before she makes any more of a spectacle of herself.” I heard Alpha jerkface shout angrily at what I assume was my brother's direction but I didn’t dare look.

Johnny scooped me up carrying me out into the cold. I didn't lift my head until we were back home but it was only then things got really bad.

Dad found my letter I’d left on my dressing table and to say he went crazy was an understatement. My dad is a man of discipline. He is always in control even when you think he isn’t listening but when he loses it it’s like a volcano erupting and there’s nothing you can do but wait for the destruction and hope you get out alive.

Which brought me to this moment, moping about in my room as my s**t show of a life collapses around me. Dad still hadn’t spoken to me since that night, the last I’d seen of him was his furious face as he was dragged from the room by mom. Even now that look of utter betrayal hurts more than anything else. I’d never felt so alone. Johnny and mom were just as mad about my attempting to leave also, I think they were more hurt that I would have done it without telling them. I only saw them If one of them was bringing me food that always got left untouched.

The P.J’s I was wearing was on to it’s seventh day, my greasy hair combed back into a messy bun, I looked a mess but up until now my family had let me be they knew how devastating losing Mina would be for me and seeing those warriors being butchered like that was more than my mind could bare, it was like losing Rose all over again.

“ Get out of this room baby, get some air, meet some friends” moms voice chimes with authority bringing me out of my thoughts.

“ I only really had one friend” and she’s gone. I choke on that last thought, trying not to let my tears roll.

“Why do you keep blaming yourself for something that wasn’t your fault?” My mother had tried to tell me before what happened to Rose was not my fault but she hadn’t been there.

“Why not, everyone else does” I’d heard it from the pack and now the Alpha there’s only so many times you can hear it before you start to believe it. Mom put her hands on her hips rolling her eyes.

“Just fools listening to gossip and lies” but it was believable not one pack member doubted it.

“Convincing though, aren't they? they must be...” My voice crack slightly as I remembered seeing the disgust in alpha jerkface’s eyes that night, “did you see the way he looked at me.....he despises me I’ve never felt so much hatred” I whispered without looking at her a lone tear rolled down my cheek then another until I couldn’t stop the flow of them. Moms face softened coming into the room and she wrapped her arms around me.

“ He's a fool, he listens to the gossip of the pack without finding out the truth, he will learn the pack's word is not law” mom said, attempting to stroke my hair but then thought better of it.

“ No but the alphas word is law mom and his law states I can never even look at my sweet girl again.” my voice broke completely and the tears began to flow she squeezed me in her arms.

“ Baby I know everything seems hopeless now but it will get better soon” she always said that when Johnny and I had problems but it didn’t always get better, it hadn’t for Johnny when tammy came knocking to declare she was pregnant and it won’t for me either.

“ Look mom, I know you're trying to help but I’m not really ready for the happy go lucky speech yet” I argued, freeing myself from her embrace really not in the mood for cuddles, I just wanted her to go so I could go back to bed. But mom had other ideas. She put her hands on her hips frowning at me.

“ Ok fine how about tough love” s**t well I walked into that one didn’t I. I fought the urge not to roll my eyes.

“ moping around in your PJ’s isn’t going to fix things so I suggest you get dressed, stop with the pity party and start changing things, doing this just lets the bastards know they are winning” she snapped at me and my eyes widened in shock. Well that told me.

“ Ok I’ll get dressed” I sighed, turning back to my full length mirror not liking what was looking back. Mom nodded clearly happy with my answer. She turned to leave but stopped at the door.

“ and for the record you do have others you have your family and you have friends, why don’t you Call Jasmine she’s due back in a couple of weeks maybe you two could hang out.” It was true I’d had one other friend, though I hadn’t seen her in years.

Jasmine was a healer, a real one while some wore the title but had no real power. Jasmine had the ability to heal, power given by the moon goddess Jas had gone away to train. Just like alphas did, healers were also required to have special training so they could harness their power and be taught not to abuse that power. We still kept in touch but she was very busy.

My mom blew out shakily, feeling remorseful for her earlier harsh words.

“ I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean....it’s just you are letting them win and you're so much stronger than this and your family is right behind you”

“ dads not even speaking to me mom” I sat back on my bed deflated.

“ Your father loves you so much, he’s just upset you wouldn’t go to him for help, that you’d chosen to just accept defeat but you always have him and all your family behind you. This family is only getting bigger as well '' Speaking of, I heard Tammy’s shrill laugh from downstairs a little while ago and as if on que there it was again making me shiver. Ugh to think that girl would soon be my sister in law.

“ So how is the happy couple?” I asked changing the subject.

My mom rolled her eyes, being hauled up in my room for days had meant she hadn’t had anyone but dad to rant to and my dad was only ever half listening unless it was official pack business. It did make me wonder how he’d been such a good Beta sometimes, his head was always in the clouds you’d be talking away and he'd buggered off inside his head. At least that’s what mom said though sometimes I wondered if he did it just to wind her up.

“ Oh goddess don’t talk to me, if that girl changes her mind about the colour scheme one more time I’m gonna flip... the invites have been sent back three times because she wasn’t happy with them and don’t even talk to me about bridesmaid dresses, she’s been to the boutique in the high street more than she’s had hot dinners, I’m starting to think she’s doing it on purpose to piss me off..” mom paces back and forth in front of me getting out all her pent up frustration. She hides it from Johnny as much as she can, like me, not wanting to make things harder for him. “..anyway the woman that owns the shop spoke to her mother the other day and told her she has one more session to decide or she will need to look elsewhere” unlike most wolves Tammy had insisted on having a wedding, we all figured it was an attention thing usually it’s only the alpha that gets married like humans and that’s for legal reasons so we were abiding by human laws, even my parents didn’t get married it wasn’t what we did we mated and marked each other forever there was no need to have a silly human tradition. I think packs had begun entertaining the whole idea because one or two wolves had human mates.

“ Wow, the shop owner said that? isn’t the customer always right” I asked mom chuckling and she smiled back.

“ yea but this is bridezilla and her gang of bitches they have been there so much they’ve already tried every dress in the store” mom shook her head exasperated.

“ It should be a fun wedding then huh?” I smiled giving her the thumbs up which made her chuckle harder.

“ that reminds me, she said to ask you about being bridesmaid again” my chuckle instantly stopped I hadn’t said anything the other night when Johnny had mentioned it, I figured that would be the end of it especially since I knew Tammy didn’t want me anywhere near her at the best of times.

“ no no no no no with a capital f**k NO!!” No way in hell was I going to stand there proudly next to the mate stealing she w***e tormentor that ruined my life while her equally evil friend Married my big brother.

“Alisha!!!” Mom scalded, growing down at me, I shuffled back looking down at my hands.

“ Sorry mom but there’s no way in hell” over my dead body. I planned on wearing black for mourning and sitting in the back. I studied my hands afraid to meet mom's eyes already knowing I wasn’t going to get a choice.

“ You know it was your brothers idea, he’s missing you, he just wants you to be involved” great she was using the family card, I’d rather drink wolf baine than be Tammy’s bridesmaid but I guess there was no fighting it, she was already carrying my brothers pup I couldn’t ignore this any longer like it or not Tammy would be my sister in law.

“ Ok mom, I’ll do it for Johnny” I sighed folding my arms over my chest sulking making it clear I wasn’t happy.

“ you know he’s still your brother you don’t have to drift apart because of who he hangs out with” she was referring to Kelly, as you recall kelly is the chosen mate of Nathan my fated mate, Tammy and Kelly are best friends which made hanging out with Johnny hard seeing as Tammy hated me just as much as Kelly did.

Tammy bullied me just as much as kelly had at school but Johnny didn’t know that nor that Nathan was my mate I’d only ever told Rose I didn’t want to put Johnny in an even more difficult situation it wasn’t like Johnny could get out of this mating ceremony, it was already too late and knowing his soon to be mate was one of my worst tormentors will only cause my brother more stress.

Mom looked at me sadly. She came to me giving me a hug. It felt nice at least my family still loved me, someone loved me.

“ It will be you one day baby, you will find your mate and be happy” my heart broke for my mother. She lived for the day I’d come home with my mate. Especially now Johnny was stuck with a chosen mate. She rested all her hopes on me and I couldn’t bring myself to crush her dreams.

“ You need a shower” she said, sniffing my hair, pulling an exaggerated face of disgust. I rolled my eyes, smirking at her.

“ yea so do you mom” We both laughed and she headed for her shower I took my hair out and started to brush out the knots before my shower.

My hair stood on its end without the hair tie. I laughed to myself at how I’d let myself go, mom was right I would never get Mina back if I kept acting like this. I put down the brush and headed for the shower I had my own ensuite which I was more than thankful for, especially once Tammy started sleeping over. I don't put it past her to dip my tooth brush in the toilet or something if my stuff was in the main bathroom with everyone else’s. I even kept my bedroom door locked in the day just in case. you might think I’m paranoid but trust me nothing is above those girls.

After showering the dried blood and grin from old wounds off my body and dumping half a bottle of shampoo and conditioner in my hair I finally felt like something of my old self again. I went back into the bedroom slipping on some joggers and a tank top. I was willing to accept I needed to get out of the room but I wasn’t totally out of my depression despite what mom said everything was not solved by a shower.

As I walked past my window drying my hair with the dryer I heard a familiar voice and shrill giggling looking out seeing Johnny and Tammy walking towards the house hand in hand.

Despite my hatred towards his future bride I couldn’t deny they looked good together then I saw a couple behind them walking in the same direction that made my stomach drop. Kelly and Nathan. Nathan’s arm was wrapped around Kelly’s body as they were heading towards my house. No Johnny wouldn’t, he might not know about Nathan but he knew what Kelly had done to me he’d never be so stupid never.

“ NO!….. NO!…absolutely not never OUT I won’t have that in my house” I heard shouting from the porch just below my window. Dad came storming out onto the porch at the front of the house he had obviously seen them all coming from the kitchen, taken one look at Kelly about to cross the threshold of his house and was having none of it even after all this time with no evidence only my word my dad was fiercely loyal there was no shred of doubt in his mind Kelly had sabotaged me during trials he made it no secret what he thought of her either. What the hell was Johnny and Tammy playing at just because my dad had to put up with Tammy because she was carrying his grandpup didn’t mean he was about to let b***h face step into his house, my dad forever in my corner protecting me. I smiled to myself. I'd take him in my corner over and entire army.

“ Dad, don’t do this Kelly.....” Johnny tried to reason but dad interrupted him.

“NO I will not have it in my own bloody house” he shouted the hate clear in his voice.

“ Sir kelly is my mate and Johnny is my friend” Nathan stated, ha that was a f*****g laugh Johnny and Nathans relationship was rocky at best since nate had taken my brothers rightful place as Beta. They may have been friends once but that was a long time ago, the only reason they tolerated each other was because of their females being friends.

“ DON’T give me that s**t boy she’s your girlfriend not your mate and she is a despicable excuse for a wolf, she will not set foot in my home” dad roared so much do they all dipped their heads slightly. But then Nathan did something very stupid.

“I Beta Nathaniel..” my eyes widened at the sheer audacity that Nathan had actually pulled rank with my father. Nathan didn’t get a chance to finish. My father gave one swift boot to Nathan’s ribs, sending him flying from the threshold of the front door down the steps into the mud on the drive.

Kelly and Tammy both screamed, Johnny watching like me in awe of our father, he may be retired but he was still every bit a powerful Beta as he ever was Nathan was stunned laying in a heap on the ground trying to catch his breath. Kelly moved towards him but my father growled at her and she squealed retreating ‘flight or fight’ Kelly just proved she was no Beta a true Beta wouldn’t flinch or cower they were fighters.

My father stalked towards Nathan who was now scrambling to his feet pissed as hell ready to fight.

“ don’t you ever pull rank with me boy, you may be Beta now but I will never be ordered who I let into my own house and as of this moment your both banned….now take your cheating she wolf and f**k off” dad said to them both.

Nate didn’t move; it was a tense moment we all held our breath to see what would happen next.

“....or do you want to try pulling rank again little pup I’ll gladly give you the beating you have coming if you do” my father said I could see his face but I knew him well to know he’d have a huge smirk on his face he knew Nathan was no beta. I saw nate’s confidence falter before he composed himself he was embarrassed and hurt I felt it through our bond he knew he couldn’t take my dad in a fight nate wasn’t a true beta blood not that it would have helped him my father was way more skilled than Nathan could ever hope to be that’s what came from being a child of peace, it made you lazy and soft if you let it.

“ this isn’t over old man” Nathan spat in anger but his voice was unsteady. He was rattled.

“ Oh I think it is boy, don't ever come back here again unless it’s for official business” my father whispered very calmly with amusement on his face. It was sinister and terrifying. I knew what it meant when dad appeared calm and incredibly focused he was imagining all the ways to kill you. The mate in me wanted to run to Nathan and wrap my arms around him and tell my dad to back away. The mate bond was a powerful thing that made you loyal to someone you despised.

Go to mate and protect him.

NO!! he made his choice let his female protect him.

My wolf growled at the thought of anyone but us touching Nathan, she still didn’t seem to get that Nathan didn’t want us she was convinced it was all an act. Pretty convincing act if you ask me whenever she’d try and convince me to seek Nathan out I’d remind her of all the painful nights we’d had from the mate bond being betrayed and replay all the times I’d caught him and kelly together everything from kissing to having s*x like I had the day of the rouge attack that Rose was attacked.

I shook my head not wanting to think about the memory of that day. I looked back out the window to see my dad and Johnny arguing on the porch, Nathan and Kelly had gone, Tammy was sat on the porch steps doing her fake crying act that everyone saw through. She seemed to realise it wasn’t working when no one came running to her, she flipped her curly red hair over her shoulder looking back at dad and Johnny who were still deep in their argument, she scowled probably because no one was fussing over her she stormed back into the house, I could hear her in the hallway muttering about my dad, words she’d never have the nerve to say to his face. Coward. I watched Johnny and my dad argue from the window. I couldn't stand them falling out over me. I jogged down stairs walking past Tammy in the hallway, her arms folded scowling at me which was nothing new.

“ happy now daddy’s little brat you ruin everything” seriously. She was the brat she had more tantrums than a toddler. I ignored her as I stormed past to the open door. I heard Tammy slamming it shut behind me, I saw dad and Johnny stood to the left by the railing just below the window I’d been watching them from, they didn’t see me at first though I’m certain dad sensed me.

“ dad they are Tammy’s friends she just wanted to go over colour schemes or table..... something” Johnny sighed trying to explain.

Johnny was flustered I felt bad, it couldn’t be easy for him he was already stuck mating a female that wasn’t his fated mate and she’s insisted on this stupid human tradition to keep the attention on herself.

Johnny didn’t even love Tammy; they'd only been dating a few weeks before she told him she was pregnant now he was in the middle of my drama.Again.

“ I don’t care how could you even think about letting that female into our house after what she did to your sister” dad scalded Johnny, to be fair Tammy had probably taken part in the sabotage of my trials too they did everything together I hadn’t actually seen my saboteur’s faces the only reason I knew it was Kelly was I reeked of her cheap perfume when I woke up and she hadn’t even hidden the smirk on her face when she heard my rank being announced.