WHERE WE MET

CHAPTER4

Amber’s POV

When I got home, Lily was sound asleep. It’s a good thing because she rarely sleeps at all. As I watched her chest rise and fall, I felt equal parts relief and concern. Autism isn’t just about the way her brain processes social cues—it also profoundly affects her ability to rest. For Lily, bedtime has always been a battleground—her sensory sensitivities to light, sound, and touch often make even the faintest hum of the refrigerator or the glow of her night lamp feel overwhelming. She resists going to bed, anxious about the dark and afraid she won’t be able to close her eyes. Even while she’s asleep, she may wake multiple times, disoriented and unable to drift back.

I go to my room, take off my clothes, and use a face wipe to clean my face. I’m too tired to take a proper shower, but I brush my teeth. As I fall asleep, thoughts of the past plague my mind, but I try to push them back.

And I eventually fall asleep.

I stirred from sleep, lazily, to the soft sound of Lily reading a book to me. She does that sometimes. She says it’ll help me sleep better. We’re the same that way, always worrying about each other.

“Ohh... You’re awake, the wolf was just about to blow down the little piggies' house”. She says it with so much enthusiasm.

Lily is a morning person through and through. I, on the other hand, have rewired my circadian clock to make me a night owl.

When I’m finally fully awake, I turn to the little head reading at the end of my bed.

“It’s 11 am. Lily, have you taken your meds?”

“I haven't had breakfast yet. Nona made pancakes before she left for work. I wanted to have breakfast with you, so I thought I’d wait till you wake up.”

“Alright, let me just freshen up, I’ll be right down, and you can start eating without me.“

I run a bath, hot water and lily-scented shower gel. Lily always insists we get those because they were made just for her.

After oil pulling, brushing and flossing, I get in the bath. OH! sweet relief.

Nona always asks why I make the water so hot. I normally imagine the water cleansing me while i mentally prepare for the day. It’s some kind of ritual I do every morning.

I get out of the bath, clean up and put on a pair of shorts and some random tee I found in the heap of clothes that is my closet and go down to have breakfast.

Nona had already gone to work.

She leaves really early every day and comes back late. I told her not to work so hard, but she’s intent on it. We don’t need to pay rent since the house we live in belongs to Nona’s parents. She got it when they died. But Lily's medication is really expensive, so we save every penny we get.

Lily is already halfway done with her pancakes by the time I reach the island. She loves food a little bit more than she loves me. Whenever I tell her this, she just starts laughing and crying at the same time, so I no longer make a joke about it.

When she sees me, she starts smiling with a mouth full of pancakes.

“What are we doing today, Amber?”

“Well, we're going to learn a little bit of biology, then watch a movie till Nona comes back. How does that sound?”

I have to homeschool Lily because she doesn't cope so well in regular classrooms, and she always likes to be around me all the time, and we can’t afford to take her to any of those special learning centers.

She nods at me and keeps stuffing her face with pancakes.

She doesn't really like anything in school, but I don't want her to be defined by her disability. I want her to have an equal standing in society when the time comes.

If the time comes.

I dig into the pancakes. Nona makes the best breakfasts of all time. Lily and I finish eating and do the dishes, while playing around and blasting premium Lana Del Ray on the speakers.

After literally forcing the concept of pollination down Lily's throat, we head back to my room to watch The Gilmore Girls for the 78th billionth time.

We love Rory, but picking Dean over Tristan, really girl?

I didn’t even know when Lily falls asleep, and I just follow suit.

We both woke up to the amazing smell of Nona in the kitchen.

Did I say Nona was good at breakfast? She’s amazing at every damn thing.

Nona is the last tie I have to my mother. She used to be mum's best friend and took us in when mom died and dad wanted nothing to do with Lily, and she’s treated us like her own children ever since.

Nona used to run an orphanage, but it got shut down some years ago. She’s never had kids of her own, so she spent most of her time raising other kids.

Nona asked me how work was. She knows what I do, but Lily doesn't. She always tells me that I don't need to go through such extreme, length. I could get a job anywhere else, but I always refuse.

No one wants to hire a college dropout.

I dropped out of college because, when my mum died my dad told me he couldn't watch after Lily. Someone needed to take care of Lily and I couldn't leave her all alone with Dad, so I started missing classes, staying home. Then I eventually just dropped out. There was no point anymore.

Nona and I make dinner and serve it. Lily comes running down the stairs. We eat and laugh, and talk at the table. It’s at times like these that I forget how cruel the world actually is.