What happens when you grow up

Chapter 14

Twelve years ago…

"Mary." Tigerlily repeated the name, finding it strange on her tongue. She had never heard that name before, but seemed to fit the beautiful girl standing before her. Dozens of emotions collided within her: relief, confusion, fear—even hope. She tried to ask questions, but they tumbled over each other incomprehensibly. "Who are you? Why are you—what happened—why did Blackbeard—how long—?"

She stepped forward breathlessly, her excitement making her forget how injured she still was from Blackbeard's beating. A jolt of pain streaked through her chest, and she gasped, clutching her broken ribs.

Mary was at her side instantly. "You poor thing! You must sit down!" Gently, she guided Tigerlily to the nearest chair, lowering her down with such gentleness that tears sprang to Tigerlily's eyes. She hadn't felt such gentleness in a long time.

"It's nothing," she insisted, sucking in a painful breath. "I'm fine."

"You're far from fine," Mary replied firmly, examining her with an expert's eye. "You're barely able to breathe." Her eyes filled with sympathetic tears. "Look what he's done to you. I can't believe you ever managed to walk this far on your own."

"People do crazy things for freedom," Tigerlily said with a grim smile.

"Yes," Mary agreed quietly, "they do."

"Please," Tigerlily said, catching Mary's hand with her own, "you have to tell me why you're here. Who are you?"

"I'll tell you everything if you tell me everything," Mary answered, flashing a girlishly joyful smile, a smile that would have been far more at home in a girl's bedroom, between friends hiding under bed covers, rather than between strangers in a pirate's dungeon. But it was a genuine smile, one that revealed a loving heart nothing could bury, and with that smile, a powerful friendship sprang to life, never to be extinguished.

Tigerlily broke into a matching grin, so wide that it made her bruised face ache. "That's a bargain."

"First, though, let me see what I can do for your injuries," Mary added, going to a trunk tucked in the corner of the room. From it, she pulled bandages, lotions and bottles of liquids that Tigerlily had never seen before. "Some of this might sting," she warned, "but it will help you heal."

Gently, she took Tigerlily's hand and spread white lotion onto it. It did sting, but not much, and the stinging was soon replaced with a soothing warmth. With the same gentle touch, Mary worked her way through all of Tigerlily's injuries, from the broken ribs to the bruised throat. Afterwards, she gave Tigerlily something to drink, a pale purple concoction that tasted sickly sweet and burned her throat.

"What was that?" Tigerlily asked.

"It's a healing drink I created," Mary explained. "I've always had a talent for healing… My father said it was my own kind of magic. I can't explain it, really… I just know how to fix people. I know what herbs and plants and ingredients to combine to mend a broken bone, like your hand, or heal a bruise. My medicines can make people heal faster than even the doctors can. Tomorrow, you should feel almost normal again."

Tigerlily gingerly fingered her hand, which had so recently been snapped and useless. It already felt better.

"If you know how to heal people," she asked, a faint idea starting to form in her mind, "do you also know how to… how to hurt people? How to kill people?"

Mary's eyes suddenly grew cold. "You mean like Blackbeard?"

Tigerlily nodded, unashamed.

"I know how to kill people," Mary replied, and she was unashamed, too. "I've done it before, many times. And not only with my potions."

"Then… why?" Tigerlily demanded, suddenly angry at this bewildering girl who could have ended both their torment long ago. "Why are you here? Why haven't you killed him yet?"

"I'm afraid it's far more complicated than that," Mary said with a sigh, and Tigerlily was taken aback by the deep pain in her eyes. "Perhaps it will make more sense when I tell you my story."

She sat down on the couch next to Tigerlily, tucking her legs underneath her and hugging her knees close to her chest. She looked so much like a normal girl, it was painful to see.

"It really begins with my father, Robert Maynard," she began. She wasn't looking at Tigerlily; her eyes were unfocused, staring into the corner, as she wandered back through old memories. "He was one of the best sea captains in England. And from the time I could walk, he brought me with him on his adventures. I grew up on his ship, the HMS Bedford." Her eyes filled with happiness as she remembered good times. "I loved that ship. I loved the sea. I loved sailing. It was what I was born to do, and I was good at it. By the time I was fifteen, I was acting as first mate on all my father's voyages. My natural abilities with medicine and healing came in handy countless times, especially when we'd run into pirates. I can't recall all the lives I saved, both sailors and pirates, who we'd then take back for trial."

The happiness in her eyes dimmed suddenly. "I ended lives, too. It was a necessary evil in our line of work. My father was tasked with capturing pirates who were terrorizing our merchant vessels, and he was good at his job. He taught me how to use a sword, and how to shoot, and how to defend myself in hand-to-hand combat. And, God help me, I found those battles thrilling—the booming cannons, the clash of metal against metal, the smoke and the screams. It was like a jolly game, one that I always knew we'd win, and so the danger, for me, wasn't real. I got hurt many times, but never seriously—nothing I couldn't fix. I suppose you could say I was addicted to that thrill, to the action and adventure and excitement. Gabriel and I had many heated discussions about that."

"Your brother?"

"My little brother," Mary explained, happiness lighting her face as she remembered. "He was two years younger than me, and he was so beautiful. We shared the same looks, our mother's looks, and I always thought Gabriel looked just like an angel. That was about all we shared, though. I had my father's temperament: head-strong, impetuous, wild and daring. Gabriel was reserved, thoughtful, meticulous, and… good. So good. So kind and loving. He wouldn't hurt a fly. He cried when he saw animals heading to the slaughter house. He wanted to be a minister, and he would have made a wonderful one. I saw how he comforted our sailors as they lay dying—his compassion was never ending."

"It doesn't sound like he was made for the sea-faring life, then," Tigerlily observed.

"He wasn't," Mary agreed. "But our father wouldn't accept that. He insisted that Gabriel accompany us on our voyages, even though at first Gabriel would get sea-sick and beg to go home. He was useless in fights, since he hated hurting people, but he was helpful as a medical assistant—and he had a knack for languages, which made him invaluable when we arrived at exotic locations. He was so desperate to please my father, too… So he kept coming on voyages with us, even when he was accepted into the University of Oxford to study ministry. He put it off for a year. He—" Mary's voice caught. "He wanted to make our father proud first."

A familiar sense of dread began to well up within Tigerlily's insides. "What happened/"

"We were tasked by the King to hunt down the worst pirate of all."

The dread tore through Tigerlily's very core. "Blackbeard."

Mary nodded. "Even we were hesitant to pursue him, but the King insisted. So we did. We took a whole fleet with us, but we were separated in a storm. We barely survived. Our ship was in desperate need of repairs, and it didn't look like we could limp home. One of our crewmembers told us he knew a shortcut to a safe harbor, so we started in that direction. But as we traveled through a narrow channel off the coast of West Africa, suddenly—we were attacked by the Queen Anne's Revenge. It was Blackbeard. We'd been betrayed."

The distantness returned to Mary's eyes as she recited that awful day. "We fought hard, but we were outnumbered and outgunned. It didn't take long for the pirates to come alongside and board us. For every pirate I killed, another two took his place. Almost none of our crew survived. I still remember looking up and seeing my father battling Blackbeard next to the wheel, both of them drenched in blood. I remember Blackbeard's sword slicing through my father's belly and coming out the other side. I remember how Blackbeard left his body without another glance, while I rushed to his side and screamed and screamed." She closed her eyes, trying to block out the memories. "I didn't even notice the pirate rushing me until Gabriel was there, parrying the strike. Gabriel, who should have been hiding in the hold like I told him, but who couldn't leave his sister in danger."

She sighed, a terribly defeated sigh. "But it didn't matter. In the end, it didn't matter. The pirates won. We were rounded up with what was left of our crew and brought before Blackbeard. He asked for the officer in charge, and I stepped forward. He was amused that a woman was first mate. I reminded him of the rules of the sea, how he was required to let my crew leave safely. He just laughed. And… and then he asked me what I would trade for their safety."

Tigerlily frantically shook her head, even as she knew the inevitable conclusion. "No."

"I would have agreed to anything, for my crew's safety," Mary said, and there was stiff pride in her voice. "They were my crew. I was responsible for them. But Gabriel tried to intervene… he just wanted to protect me. He tried to reason with Blackbeard, and…" Mary's voice dropped into a monotone as she suppressed all emotion, the only way she could finish the story. "And Blackbeard shot him."

Fresh pain spiked through Tigerlily as Little Wolf's face flashed through her mind.

"I tried to kill Blackbeard then," Mary continued on. "I broke free from my guard and launched myself at him. But the other pirates stopped me. And Blackbeard laughed and laughed, even as the rest of my crew was executed." She grimaced at the relentless memories. "It was my fault. I was responsible for them. Their deaths were my fault. And… Gabriel's death was my fault, too. I shouldn't have let my father pressure him into coming. He had no business being onboard. He was too gentle, too kind—I should have protected him. It was my duty to protect him, and I failed." A single tear ran down her face, made all the starker by the fact that her voice continued to be tightly controlled and emotionless.

"It wasn't your fault!" Tigerlily cried, clutching Mary's shoulders desperately. "It was Blackbeard! He did that to you, to Gabriel, to your crew. He's the monster!"

"I should have stopped him," Mary replied firmly, a glimpse of her guilt and torment leaking through. "It was my ship. Gabriel was my brother. Those men were my crew." As quickly as it appeared, the emotion was gone, once again tightly controlled as Mary continued her story. "You can imagine what happened afterwards. Blackbeard refused to release me. He said he missed female companionship—and all that that implies."

Tears of anguished frustration welled up in Tigerlily's eyes. "He's a monster."

"The first time was the worst," Mary said. It was as though, now that she had started her story, she was compelled to share every awful detail. "He had to tie me down to hold me still enough. Eventually, I got used to it. You can get used to anything. I learned how to make my mind go somewhere else, somewhere happy. The funny thing is, I think he thinks he loves me, in his own way. I think he thinks our relationship is almost… normal. Like I'll come around and love him back if he just gives me enough time."

She pressed her lips together as something unspeakably dark entered her eyes. "I never knew how much I could hate somebody until I met him. He took everything from me… I would kill him, easily, happily, instantly, if I had the chance. I would kill him, even if it meant eternal damnation, as long as I could drag him to hell with me. But I can't."

"But why?" Tigerlily asked, desperate to understand.

Instead of answering, Mary asked a question of her own. "How old you think I am?"

Tigerlily was confused, but gave an answer. "Seventeen?"

Mary laughed shortly. "I'm twenty-five." She grinned at Tigerlily's baffled expression. "I don't look it, do I? I don't look a day over seventeen. That's how old I was when Blackbeard captured me. And if he has his way, that's how old I'll look forever. He wanted to preserve me, he said, so he injected me with pixum, the same drug he uses to stay young." Mary's eyes hardened. "Pixum is extremely addictive. And it causes nearly unbearable withdrawal symptoms if you don't keep taking it. Sometimes, it can even kill people. Even if it doesn't, the person wishes she was dead. I know. The pain is so terrible, you'll do anything to get another fix. Anything. I know that, too."

Sick horror washed over Tigerlily. "Can't you… can't you create an antidote? From your medicines?"

Mary shook her head. "There's only one antidote that's known to work, and Blackbeard keeps it in his office. For years, I've tried to find a way to steal it and escape. Nothing has worked—yet. But now…" A resilient spark returned to her eyes. "Now that there's two of us…"

Wild hope blossomed inside of Tigerlily. "How can I help?"

"I've been working on it for a long time," Mary began, "and I think—"

She broke off suddenly, motioning for Tigerlily to be quiet. In the sudden stillness, they both heard the same ominous sound: footsteps.

"He's coming," Mary whispered, voice tight with fear. "Quick! Under the table!"

Tigerlily scrambled under the table, disappearing behind the tablecloth. She curled into a ball, cringing as the footsteps grew louder and louder, closer and closer. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she heard the doorknob turn and the door swing open with a groan. And then she heard him.

"My dear Mary!" His deep voice rolled through the room above her head. "I must apologize for neglecting you all this time."

Blackbeard was in the room.