What happens when you grow up

Chapter 11

Present day...

"Peter, are you listening?"

Tigerlily looked up at Peter impatiently. He was supposed to be preparing for his initiation, but instead of listening to her explanation about the Provider's Meal, he was floating upside down and aiming his slingshot at a nearby frog.

"This stuff is easy," Peter replied, rolling his eyes. "I just grab some nuts and berries to throw on top of the bison I catch and cook it up and give it to you and James. It's no big deal."

"But which berries?" Tigerlily demanded. "There are different kinds all over the forest, you know."

"Just—any berries," Peter said, sweeping down and snatching a handful of berries off of a bush. He tossed them to Tigerlily. "These berries."

Tigerlily glanced at them critically and dropped all but one of them to the ground. "No, Peter. Not those berries. Those are Lover's Spite Berries. Those are poisonous." She held up the berry still in her palm. "Do you see the tiny white bristles all around the outside? That's how you know they're Lover's Spite. The berries you want—Suckleberries—don't have those white bristles."

"Geez, this seems harder than it should be," Peter grouched, dropping to his feet next to her. "First I have to go out on my own for the night and get through Crocodile Cove and find my way to into the woods and then I have to hunt down an elk and then I have to make my way all the way back and find the right berries and make a whole meal and remember the fire ritual and…"

"If you think you're not ready, just tell me," Tigerlily said. "We can wait."

Like she expected, Peter rose to the challenge eagerly. "Of course I'm ready," he said staunchly. "It just seems like a lot of effort, that's all."

"It's supposed to be a lot of effort," Tigerlily retorted. "Becoming an adult is a lot of effort."

"Maybe becoming an adult isn't worth it," Peter said. "Maybe it's better to stay a kid forever and never grow up."

"Everyone grows up," Tigerlily replied. "It's part of life. And it's a good part, too. It's hard sometimes, but the good outweighs the bad."

"So you went through this whole initiation too?"

"Of course. We all go through the same initiation."

"And you shot an elk and everything?"

"No, not quite."

"No? You had to hunt something. What did you get?"

Tigerlily grinned impishly. "A bear."

That earned some new respect from Peter. "A bear! Wow! Do you have a bear skin rug now? I haven't seen anything like it in your tent."

"I made it into a robe," Tigerlily explained. "And eventually, I gave it to James. It was his wedding present."

"Oh, yuck," Peter groaned, scrunching up his face in boyish disgust. "Let's not get into that mushy, gooey stuff."

Tigerlily laughed. "Someday, Peter, you're going to meet a girl and become just as mushy and gooey as James is about me."

"Girls are just trouble!" Peter declared resolutely. "The only one I can put up with is Tink, and she doesn't really count."

"I think Tink's a bad influence on you," Tigerlily told him. "Or… maybe you're a bad influence on her."

Now it was Peter who grinned impishly.

It was useless, Tigerlily decided, to keep the lesson going, since Peter was in one of his playful and distracted moods, and there was no focusing his attention when he was like that. It would have been different, she admitted to herself, if James had been the one teaching him all this. Peter would have listened like an angel to James. But James wasn't here, like usual. He was probably working on his ship.

"Why don't we take a break?" she suggested. "I need to talk to James. But promise me you'll study which berries and nuts to use. It's really important."

"I promise," Peter told her, with almost convincing sincerity. And then he disappeared through the treetops.

Tigerlily watched him go with affection. She was never able to stay annoyed at Peter for long, as much as he often deserved it. He was too charming, too open and too unabashedly loving.

As much as she worried about him, Tigerlily knew that he would be able to pass the initiation. Peter had an impressive quality of always coming through in the end, despite his sometimes maddening carelessness about life. When the chips were down, there was an inner resilience and strength that propelled him to perform the impossible.

And, despite Peter's grumbling, the initiation was not so intimidating. It was challenging, certainly, but it was passable. The youth attempting it was required to leave in the evening and make his or her way across Neverland into the woods to hunt. That first night, the youth couldn't eat or drink anything but water, to keep their mind sharp as they waited to be visited in their dreams by their spirit animal, which would continue to guide them through the rest of their life's journey.

The next day, the youth would have to finish their journey and return home to the village. It was required to go through Crocodile Cove and collect a tooth as proof—though a smart youth would never even see a crocodile, since it was possible to sneak through the Cove while the giant creatures were asleep in the sun. In the woods, the youth would have to kill an elk—or some other creature—and bring back the fur and the meat, which would be used in the Provider's Meal. This meal was highly symbolic, since the youth would prepare it by themselves and then serve it to their parents, to show that they were now able to sustain themselves and provide for their family. After the parents ate the meal, the youth would go through a fire ritual involving the whole tribe. Only after the ritual was complete would the youth be initiated into adulthood.

Peter was a crack shot with his bow and arrow, so there was no question that he'd be able to catch a deer. And his flying would help keep him safe as he traveled. While he was reckless, Tigerlily knew even he was smart enough to know to be cautious around crocodiles. So there was really nothing to worry about… yet she still did.

"You're being overprotective, just like James said," she chastised herself. "Peter will be fine."

She resolutely pushed her worries to the back of her mind as she started to make her way out to James's ship. She had put off her news long enough—she was going to have to tell him about the baby. Part of her was nervous, knowing his aversion to children, but part of her was excited, too. This was a wonderful blessing, and there was no one that she'd rather share this new adventure with.

She smiled as she thought of Peter's disgust over "mushy, gooey stuff." She had been hopelessly, endlessly, overwhelmingly in "mushy, gooey" love with James for some time. When had it started? It was hard to say. When she had first met the scruffy rake, she had despised him, to be honest—looking at him as nothing more than a brass, selfish, conceited opportunist. But those feelings had melted away into something entirely different the longer she'd known him. She had seen how his risked his life to save Peter—and to save her. She had been touched by his valor and courage. Slowly, she had let her guard down around him—and he had done the same.

She remembered their first kiss. It was two months after their first meeting. James had been grudgingly accepted into her tribe, though he had loudly insisted that it was only until he could get his ship up and running again. Tigerlily had insisted just as loudly that that was fine with her. What contact they had was brief, cool and always charged with an undercurrent of sizzling electricity. They seemed to both possess an unfailing ability to get on each other's nerves, an uncanny talent for saying just the right thing to rub each other the wrong way. They hated each other—and yet they enjoyed each other. And they found plenty of excuses to run into each other and begin the process all over again.

For those two months, James had worked on his ship almost constantly, and Tigerlily had resolutely refused to allow herself to visit the site. Peter, of course, had visited every day. And it was Peter who informed her that James still needed certain supplies before he would be able to fix all the damage.

"He's too proud to ask for them," Peter had told her confidentially. "But I think it's the least we could do, after everything he's done for us."

Tigerlily had been forced to agree. So, she gathered up the items that Peter listed off, and she carried them all out to James one sunny afternoon. She found him hanging off the side of the ship, shirtless, shoulders gleaming with sweat, and she cursed the warmth that started to spread between her legs.

Pushing away inappropriate thoughts that sprang to mind, she forced herself to be businesslike. "Peter said you needed some supplies," she called up.

James startled at her voice, glancing down warily. "Yeah? Like what?"

"He talked about ropes and tools and resin and things like that. I found what I could. I figured it was the least we could do after—after your help, with Blackbeard."

James jerked his head towards the walkway. "Come on up."

Tigerlily did so, standing on the deck for the first time. It was still a mess, with more empty space than floor. Tools and nails were littered everywhere, and a thick coating of sawdust covered the entire scene. James was covered in sawdust as well, from his pants to his hair. Tigerlily's mouth suddenly tingled as she wondered what it would taste like to lick it off of him.

"Here," she said, shoving the supplies into James's arms.

"You must be pretty eager to get rid of me, if you went to all this effort," James quipped, looking over the things she brought.

"You're the one who keeps saying how eager you are to leave," she replied.

"I am eager to leave," James said, dumping the supplies onto the deck. "Who'd want to stay here?"

"Well, who's stopping you?"

"No one," James said firmly. He looked at her as he said it, almost challengingly.

Tigerlily felt her blood starting to warm. "Then why don't you get going and let us get back to our lives?"

"Hey, I didn't ask for any help from you," James answered her. "I didn't ask you to bring me these supplies. I don't need anything from anybody."

"Your gratitude is touching," Tigerlily snapped. Her exterior remained as collected as always, but inside something pierced through her heart. She started to turn back to the walkway. "I'll try not to inconvenience you any further."

James followed her. "Why do you have to be so high and mighty?"

She whirled back around. "Why do you have to be so arrogant?"

"Why do you have to be so beautiful?"

James seemed almost as surprised as Tigerlily that he had blurted out those words. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, pregnant silence wafting between them.

James found his voice first. "Why do you make me want to kiss you every time I see you?"

Tigerlily looked back at him. "Why don't you?"

It was all the encouragement James needed. He was instantly reaching for her, pulling her into him, devouring her mouth with an almost famished hunger. The sawdust coating him made him taste dry and woodsy, and Tigerlily relished that taste. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders as he pushed her up against his work bench, winding his fingers through her hair as his tongue explored her mouth.

It would have been easy to lose herself in his addictive taste, the feel of his rough lips against hers. But reason finally came back to her. This was madness. She was leader of her tribe. She had responsibilities. She couldn't lose her head over an unreliable, rough-hewn rogue—no matter how dashing he was.

So she wrenched herself away. "No. I can't."

James stilled almost immediately, his hands still cupped around her face. "No?" he repeated. It wasn't accusatory; it was confused.

She appreciated his respect, and it softened the response she had planned to give. Gently, she removed his hands, nearly wincing at the lack of contact when she let them go. "There are customs. There are rules. In my tribe, a woman doesn't lie with a man unless they've been united in marriage. And let's be honest with ourselves… are we really compatible for a lifetime, instead of just a few moments of passion?"

James grinned, that rakish grin that always melted Tigerlily's heart. "I think we are," he replied. "I've thought so ever since I met you, ever since you sliced through Blackbeard's pirates and saved my life too many times to count. I didn't want to admit it to myself. I didn't want to admit I needed somebody. But I do. I'm admitting now-I need you. I am head over heels in love with you-with your bravery, with your strength, with your stubbornness, with your intelligence, with your beauty, with your compassion. You've had my heart for weeks. And no matter how long it takes, I'm going to prove it."

And he did.