Damon | Blacks | Secret

9 | Let Me Help You With Those Needs

 “And nor thou the enemy should suppress the lover, for as the lover calms the enemy. Alright, by the sentence I just read, I want you to write an essay about how this effects the characters feelings? Nine hundred words by Friday, that’s the bell, see you next lesson.”

I stand up, tucking my hair behind my ears as I push my folders into my bag. My head turns to the window, watching the flutters of butterflies flap its beautiful blue coloured wings.

I wondered, how it would feel to have wings, how it would feel to be beautiful. How it would feel to not be judged. But the thing is, no matter what you do, say, think, you will always be judged by someone. I grab my second bag full of spray paints, knowing exactly where I would be going. I walk out of the classroom, and into the hallways. The white floorings, the ripped walls, the grey lockers, the students in groups of which they are their own.

The posters of dance competitions, singing competitions, and more others. Damon hit home the other day, and for then, I have been ignoring even looking at him. I push my headphones into my ears, listening to Electric Love as I continue my journey down towards my locker.

The moment I reached it; my heart stilled as I see writing all over it. ‘Stop eating’ ‘Fat fuck.’ ‘Fat bich’ I feel someone touch my shoulder as I turn around, to see Luke staring at my locker. “They spelt b***h wrong.” I whispered jokingly, Luke’s eyes graze my own, and within seconds he pushes me against his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist, as he pushes his fingers through my hair.

I needed this; I needed this security in my life. “Are you okay, biscuit?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I need to go pick up my sister from work, call me when you get home okay?” I nod my head; he kisses my forehead and begins his leave down the hallway. I walk away from my locker, holding the bag of spray paint. I continue walking down the hallway, until I reached the field. The empty field.

I settle down, throwing my bag on the bleacher as I take out a drink. I flick open the lid, staring ahead of me. And then, I take a swift taste of my drink.

“Why don’t you f*****g help yourself before giving others advice? Why don’t you sort your own life out? Because what I saw, your life isn’t perfect.”

My fingers brush itself into my hair, untangling all the knots. I still remember the nights in that darn hospital, I remember every single thing. Its stuck in my head, like gum is stuck in your hair. You have to cut your hair of to get rid of it, but this time, I didn’t want to cut my hair of, I wanted it to stay.

“You can hide yourself forever by wearing baggy clothing Sophia, Just as I can with my so-called emotions. You’re not my girlfriend, nor will you ever be. I don’t lower my standards to someone like you.”

Another round of my drink, before the bottle turns out to be half empty. I suddenly feel a pounding headache. I have not eaten a single thing, since my mum and siblings left. Huger strikes me out of nowhere. But I didn’t want to eat. I still haven’t reached anyone’s standards.

Suddenly, I see a figure leaving the exit door, into the field. I immediately hide behind the bleachers when I see that person being Damon. He throws on his leather jacket, his hands shuffling through his pockets. Should I? Yes, I should. I leave my things as I follow after him, I want to see who you really are Damon.

We walked a lot; I mean he did I just followed like a mouse after cheese. We were on the busy streets of New York at the moment, he pushes past many people. His hands deep inside his pockets, I close my eyes, feeling slightly tipsy. I grab onto my head; I knew I shouldn’t have drank. I knew! I drank on an empty stomach; I feel sick for some reason.

Damon took a right; I follow after him only to see he was no longer there. I stopped, thinking if I was tripping from the drinks, but no. It was a dead end.

I feel someone push my roughly against the wall. Their hands tightly wrapped around my neck. I grab onto their wrist. Until my eyes locked with a pair of brown ones. “Who the fu-Sophia.” He said, his hands tight around my neck, he instantly releases it. “Why the f**k are you following me?”

“I-I-I wasn’t! I was getting food.” I lied.

“In a dead end, you reek-you’ve been drinking, haven’t you?” I scoffed at him, shaking my head repeatedly.

“No, I have. I mean, I haven’t. I mean, yes, I haven’t.” I unexpectedly burst out laughing, he grips his head. I hadn’t stopped laughing until I suddenly feel the urge to be sick. “That didn’t make sense, did it?”

“I’m taking you home.” He grabs my forearm; I immediately push him roughly away from me.

“Don’t touch me.” A loud banging sound interrupts us, but it didn’t phase me. Damon snapped his head to the sound. “I remember what you said to me, that hurt me. A lot.”

“Okay, we need to f*****g go Sophia.”

“I said no! I don’t want to go anywhere with you, you, you, you bully! Everyone hurts me, I had enough!”

“Sophia, this isn’t the f*****g time for you to be in your feelings, we need to go. Now!” He growls.

“N. O.” I shot out, he shakes his head, and then, he instantly throws me over his shoulder. His arms locking my legs together as my hair dangle. I continuously punch his back, shouting for him to let me go. But he ignores me as he continues walking away. “Let me down!”

“You don’t want to walk, fine.”

“I’m telling Jake about this.”

“Go ahead, then I’ll tell him, how you got arrested,”

“I’ll tell him how you got arrested with me!”

“I’ll tell him how you drank in school.”

“I’ll tell him how you shouted at me in my own house!”

“I’ll tell him how you tried to kiss me.”

“I’ll tell him how you called me ugly.”

“I’ll tell him how you had drugs in your f*****g bag.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“You don’t know me princess.” I closed my eyes, hearing a car unlock. I was settled down onto my feet, Damon opens the door for me and shoves me inside. He grabs the seatbelt and I see his neck pass me as he sticks it in the lock. I immediately smelt the immense smell of his cologne in one sniff of my nose. As usual, he smelt amazing. He pulls himself out and closes the door on me. I fold my arm, furiously.

He bangs the door close; he hands me a water bottle. “Drink.” He orders.

“No. I don’t want.”

“Then you need to eat.”

“Why is everyone forcing me to do what they want! I had enough! I had enough, enough, enough! Sophia, go eat! Sophia, eat this and eat that, you’re skinny, you’re going to die.  Sophia, stop forcing yourself to vomit, Sophia, stop hurting me. Sophia, you gained weight, go lose it. Sophia. Sophia, Sophia, Sophia. I know! I f*****g know, I know.” I busted out. The drinks really hit me home, I still feel tipsy, and now, I just had a whole outrage in front of Damon. Great. Out of all people, it had to be him. I didn’t want to look at him, I was full with embarrassment.

I never ever did this before; I was not one to tell people what was going on inside my head. But somehow, I felt better. I felt better that it was out and no longer in my head. Abruptly, the car starts moving. I knew no one cared. I rested my head on his window, casually counting the number of poles I see. As I did this, I noticed how we weren’t going home but instead to a*****e. He parks the car, and exits without another word. Slamming the door closed, before making sure it was locked as he stumbled inside.

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