Arghhhhh! After hours of kicking, thrashing and turning in bed I give up. I sit and bury my face in my hands. I am so tired.... It has already been five days since we left the Council estate. My plan to avoid falling asleep failed miserably, I do doze off from time to time. However, it brings me neither rest nor relief. So now I am avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. I am pretty sure I could win a beauty pageant for zombies - horrendous black circles, greenish skin, red lifeless eyes and all. I check the time and see that it is only 3 am. Everyone else is probably deep asleep in their hotel rooms. Don't get me wrong, they are suffering too. However, for them it is different, they aren't the ones who pulled the trigger. No, that was me. And so far I haven't figured out how to live wit
