Our Failed Escapes

2

After bidding my goodbyes and getting out of my grandfather’s study. I immediately went back to my room to avoid getting seen by my mother knowing very well she will not leave me alone. When I arrived back to my room, I felt a sense of longing and grief. I hated feeling this way.

As I shut the door closed, I leaned on it and touched the cold jewelry on my wrist. Grandmother, I wish you were here to save me from all of this. When my grandmother was still alive, she was the only one who kept me sane in this household. She was the one who made grandfather and my father changed his mind about me being locked up, she was the one who made sure I could taste the sense of freedom.

She died when I was 10. It hasn’t been the same since she was gone. My grandfather and parents became stricter. They gave me everything in the comfort of my own room and I am grateful they tried. But deep down, I felt empty. Days, turned into weeks, into months, and then into years. No matter how old I got, I was never getting out of this cruel cycle.

If only… you were here grandmother.

I sighed and made me way to my bed. I hid myself under the covers and silently cried to sleep. I miss a life I never lived before. A life I wish I lived.

After the next few hours, a palace maid when to my room ad woke me up. She informed me it was time for dinner. Oh, dinner. It was a crucial thing to sit straight act okay in front of everyone in your family, eat gracefully and not say a word when the ‘adults’ are talking. And even when you say a word, it doesn’t matter. It will never matter.

But despite my pure hatred for the dinner, I nodded to the maid that I’ll be ready. I got up from my bed and took a quick shower. I freshened up and changed into different clothes. I added light make up to my face since I looked stressed and drained. We shouldn’t look like that in the table.

The dress I wore wasn’t much but it could work. It had to. I didn’t want to wear anything that would suffocate me to death. I just sighed at my reflection on the mirror. I looked pretty. Pretty enough to look like a princess. It was a shame no one could see this face. Maybe it’s a shame they don’t get to see this face, but this wasn’t the case for me.

I know the prime reason why I don’t get to show my face was for my safety. But one of the perks of never showing my face is that no one recognizes you. When I meet people at Zethan, when I was at my vacation, I could tell who were really here for me and not because I was some sacred princess. I was different from I was treated as a princess, people treated me normally.

There were no fake smiles and special treatments towards me, they treated me like I was someone they genuinely wanted to be friends with. And that gave me comfort within myself. I made friends even outside my life as a princess, people who truly wanted to be there for me.

When living as a princess, people tend to do everything to be close to you. But luckily, I am not stupid enough. There were many people who wanted to send me letters, communicate me through online, even tried a bird to send me notes. They were strictly prohibited by my father. Information was strictly wiped out of every source, my father was furious when he heard people knew a single information about me.

He is really determined to never let anyone know about me. I snap myself out of my thoughts. Dinner, right.

I hurriedly got out of my bathroom and walked straight to our dining area of the palace. The palace was bright and a had a perfect definition of life in the colors of the palace. It was purposely supposed to be like that. My parents probably thought it would be help me feel alive but it didn’t work, it never did. It only reminded me of how much I am missing out. It horrifying.

When I arrived at the table, everyone was already there. My grandfather at the center of the rectangular table, on his right, was my father, beside father was my mother. And on my grandfather’s left was brother, Silver. Beside Silver was an empty seat that already had a plate and eating utensils. I slightly bowed, “I’m sorry for being late,” I gave them a tight smile.

Everyone’s eyes looked at me. But kept a straight face and sat beside Silver, mother cleared her throat, “We just got started, it’s fine,”

I nodded and smiled. A few maids started setting up my plate with dishes they knew I liked. I gave them a smile as well, “Thank you,”

They smiled sweetly and whispered, “You are most welcome,”

I nodded again. I started eating silently as my grandfather started talking, “Today, a family member is back home,”

I silently snorted. Which one? Me or my brother, Silver? My brother was never at home, he never acted like he was the heir of the throne even though he was. I am worried for this kingdom once it is at his hands. He never acted on the responsibility, never gave a s**t of the kingdom that is soon to be his.

Whatever shall this kingdom do?

Grandfather continued speaking, “And a new member will arrive tomorrow,” he said proudly.

Tomorrow. “Tomorrow, the royal family of Zethan will arrive to properly ask the hand of marriage of our dear Royal,”

I coughed. I didn’t know the person I’m meant to marry was from Zethan. Nor did I know the whole royal family would be here either. All I know is that a guy who is my fiancée will come here. swoon my parents with his ridiculous charms that only ever exist if in front of my parents, then take me away. I never knew I get to meet my in laws tomorrow.

And they are from Zethan? Its funny, I lived there for a month but my curiosity never even wondered about the royal family there. Because I didn’t care. Now, I’ll meet strangers that are my in laws and their son who is my fiancée.

Great.

My mother’s concerned voice spoke, “Are you okay, dearest?”

I smiled, “Yes, I am,”

“Meeting my brother in law tomorrow, I’ve always wanted a brother,” my brother teased. I knew he was being sarcastic because he knows well how much I don’t want this wedding to happen and how much effort I have put to make sure it doesn’t happen. I was annoyed.

I averted my eyes to the corner of my eyes, giving him the side eye, “And where have you been?”

His eyes widened from my sudden question.

“Off with another lady?” I asked again.

“Royal,” mother scolded.

My brother was pissed, he snarled, “Why don’t you mind your own business, little princess?”

I scoffed, twirling my fork with the pasta on it, “look who’s talking,” flicking my hand towards his soup. The water jumped out of the bowl landing on his lap. He let out a loud gasp, luckily, the soup was already warm since he hasn’t touched it. I heard a few gasps from the maids but they quickly closed their mouths. Grandfather in this situation silently stared and ate.

“Royal! No powers allowed at the table,” my father yelled. Even when my brother was know covered in soup, he was laughing. Hysterically, he found it funny since we always fought like this. He was always a victim of my powers

I snorted, “He was asking for it,”

“You know, I never get it, he gets to do as he pleases but once I start making minor changes in my life, I am wrong?” I asked.

My brother stopped laughing, “It’s because I am not a sacred princess,” he joked.

“but you’re the heir to the throne, soon to be king, isn’t that enough to give you strict rules too?”

He smirked, “Jealous I have freedom and you don’t?”

I narrowed my eyes at him and gave him a tight smile, “why don’t you changed your clothes before I drown you in the fish tank?”

He playfully smiled but obliged. He got up from his seat and went to his room. I rolled my eyes as his figure disappeared from my sight. Why does he never act like an adult? He is 5 years older than me, but between the both of us, I am more responsible then he will ever be.

I faced back in front of my parents and gave them a blank look on my face. I continued to eat silently like as if nothing happened. That’s how grandfather acted throughout that scene, I guess should act like that too. Pretending and being ignorant towards things that shouldn’t be ignored.

I finished eating and stood up, startling my mother, “Tomorrow, got it, I won’t disappoint,” I forced a smile and bowed, “I’m finished, I’ll go to my room,”

“But you just got here-“

“I’m fine, mom,”

My grandfather spoke, “Let her be,”

My mother fell silent. Her eyes landed on her plate. She could never talk back to grandfather, not even if it were for my sake. She would never. But there was one time where she did, it was the day before I ran way. They were in a huge argument, my mother defended me but at the end of the day, she still followed grandfather. I did appreciated her for standing up for me but it wasn’t too long before she swallowed her own words and told me it was for my own good that I would be stuck here and be married to a stranger.

I knew it was too good to be true. At least, now I know she actually wants whatever I want just can’ speak up about it since my grandfather isn’t someone you would go against.

I gazed at grandfather and nodded, “Thank you,”

I left the dinning area and went to my room. The walk to my room was heart wrenching, I felt a needle piercing through my heart. I think about it every day; do they even think about my feelings? About how all of this makes me feel? They say this is for my own good, but they don’t ask what I feel about this whole situation. What does it matter anyway? From the very beginning I was always destined to marry a man chosen by my parents and grandfather.

I arrived at the door of my room and held on the cold gold metal until a hand from behind held my wrist, I turned, it was Silver. I noticed he changed his shirt already.

I pouted and raised my eyebrow, “What?” confusion was plastered all over my face.

He pulled my arm and hugged me in his embrace. I was caught off guard, but I hugged him back. the heart wrenching feeling, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I burst into tears. It was so heavy to carry all of this on my own and everyone expects I’m okay with it, why? because I’m some sacred princess? I feel exhausted and all I could do was cry on the shoulder of my brother.

He patted the back of my head, “You really thought I wouldn’t hug my little sister the day she arrives?”

My sobs went into muffles of laughter, “You weren’t even here when I arrived,”

I let go of our warm embrace and wiped the tears that were streaming on my face. There were continues sobs that filled the hallways but were replaced with muffled laughs when he spoke again.

“You’re going to be fine, you could drown him if he ever hurts you, remember that,”