Day 16: Henry
953 Words
Lorraine has gone to bed and is peacefully sleeping while I am left lying down on the sofa, staring blankly into emptiness. I keep on thinking about Eunice because I know I have wronged her. She texted me and was begging me to come back to her.
I offered her something that I cannot give and I know she might be crying every night. When she got back from abroad and learned that I am married to Lorraine, she would storm my office from time to time and I would end up comforting her, telling her that she would find someone who would love her. I can't stay away from her or push her. After all, I told her I'd wait for her but I didn't. I'm partly at fault.
Making her feel okay has become my habit. I would see her in secret and just make her feel happy. Help her with her groceries, cook for her, bring her to her appointments and the list goes on.
Lorraine doesn't know anything about our secret meet ups. I didn't bother telling her because Eunice and I didn't do anything wrong. I was more of a bestfriend to Eunice, giving her the support that she needs especially during those times when she had several set backs with her career. Sometimes she would act like my wife, but I would tell her that what I could offer is just friendship.
Not until I discovered Lorraine's letters and my emotional break down has made me reconsider getting back with Eunice.
Eunice was very happy when I told her that we can be together once my marriage has been annulled. It was a wrong decision because deep down in my heart I know that Lorraine will be the only one. Eunice had a place before, yes, but it's all in the past now.
I just wanted to talk to Eunice and apologize, I caused her pain and gave her false hope.
"Daddy, you can't sleep?"
"Oh, baby, you're still up?"
"Yes, I'm planning to get back to work. My chicken pox is gone and I've missed a lot in the office."
"Then maybe you can get back next week. I'll drive you."
"What about you? Why can't you sleep?"
I was caught off guard. How do I tell Lorraine that I'm thinking about my ex? 'Lord I need a back up.'
"Ahmmm..."
"Ahhmmmm what?"
I went to Lorraine and sat beside her. She adjusted her position and we are both sitting now on our bed.
"Ahmmmm.... I don't know where to start Baby... I've wronged someone and I know I have to apologize but I don't know where to start."
"Do I know this person?" Lorraine asked and it felt like my heart has stopped beating.
"Yes."
Lorraine stood up and got something from her bag. A brown envelope that she handed me.
"Does it have something to do with these pictures?" She said, trying to control her tears.
I opened the envelope and saw pictures of me and Eunice together, happily doing various stuff. There's one with me wearing an apron, the other with me sleeping on her couch and a lot more that if you'd see the pictures, you'd think that Eunice and I are a couple.
"This doesn't mean anything Baby. I was ...I was.. Just helping her."
"I got those pictures the day after you asked me to leave our house."
"Baby. I'm sorry but..."
"I was so hurt Henry, but I didn't get mad at you because I know I am at fault too. I've thrown myself unto you and I know Eunice is your first love but I still hoped that you have loved me."
"Baby."
"I know you'd meet her in secret but... I didn't say anything. I am just happy that you still choose to stay with me and our kids."
"Baby there's nothing going on between us."
Lorraine broke down in tears and I didn't know that while I tried helping Eunice out, I was hurting my baby. I am so stupid! I am an i***t who act foolish.
How could I not notice anything? How could I not know that my baby is hurting?
"Baby."
I held her hands and was just silent. I really don't know what to say.
"I accidentally read your text messages earlier daddy. You were at the restroom when she texted. She said she would still wait for you, she still loves you, she still wants you back."
"Baby..."
"I didn't confront you because you made me feel that you won't leave me... But it hurts to know that you can't sleep because of her."
"Baby, I'm sorry. I was just thinking of apologizing because Eunice and I can't be together. Because I don't want to leave you. But I made her believe that there could be an us."
"Henry, I know my intention was.. Was... But.., but I've loved you and I never regret of giving my all to you.. But.. But.. If you are confused with what you feel between me and Eunice then... Then.. Then... Let's just give each other space."
"No.. Baby... No.. I just want us. Just us. I'm a fool for doing this. Curse me, hurt me, but don't leave me baby."
"I don't know Henry. I guess we just have to give each other space?"
"Baby, look at me, I'm just yours. I've lost you once and I don't want to lose you again. I just wanted to talk to Eunice and tell her to move on."
"Baby, please."
Lorraine has stopped crying and held my hand.
"I am still yours daddy but... But can you just give me space and let my heart rest?"
- Writer
