50 Days to His Heart

Day 2: Lorraine

I woke up to the warmth of Henry's hand caressing my cheek. I didn't know how I got in our room but I am happy that at least, I know my husband still cares for me. I opened my eyes and saw Henry looking at me. His eyes speak of anger, of longing, of emotions undefined. 

"Where are my twins?"

"Henry, can you not believe me at least once? I don't have an idea."

"There's no use of hiding Lorraine. Get dressed and will go to the police station. They'll get your testimony."

It is only now that I realized that I've changed into Henry's shirt and pajamas. What has happened to me? How did I end up in our room?

"I've donated all the clothes you've left to charity."

"Oh. Okay."

"But this one, I don't know why I kept this. Well at least, you'd be presentable when you give your testimony."

Henry threw the dress I wore in my college graduation. After getting married, Henry sent me to college and helped me in every way possible. And the dress, he bought it as a surprise for me. He was so proud that I graduated c*m laude, that I was able to finish college while raising up my kids. My kids, my kids whom I love so much, are nowhere to be found! They are just 10 years old. How will they be able to survive without me? Without their dad?  

"What happened to them Henry? Where are my kids? How will we know where the kidnappers are? What do we do?"

"Can you just shut up Lorraine and stop pretending that you do not know anything!"

"I really don't know anything."

I started to cry again realizing that there's no way out that I'd change his mind. He still thinks that I have the kids with me. I wish I could just have really kidnapped them. I wish I dropped by their school and picked them up after their class. But everything is just a wish now. My children are missing and my husband is accusing me.

"If you don't stop crying Lorraine, I swear, I'd lock you in this room until you show me where the kids are!!!"

"Okay. I give up! You don't wanna believe me right? I'll prove you wrong!!!"

"Where are you going?"

"I'd go and look for my kids and when I get them, I promise you, you'd never see them again."

"No you're not leaving."

Henry pulled me so hard that we both fell on the floor and our lips have almost kissed. I felt my head hit something hard but it was just nothing for Henry. He stood up and left me alone in our room and I heard him locked the door. 

***

I dialled Vianna's number to ask for help. If I am locked in this room there's no way I'd be able to locate where my kids are. I need Vianna to help me. 

"Lorraine! Are you better now? Henry called asking if I knew about your heart problem. You didn't tell him about it?"

"When did he call?"

"This morning. He said he went to your place to bring some of  your stuff be he saw you unconscious."

So I got unconscious after he called and he went to my place to check on me. After all, he still wants me okay. Should I cover up for him and tell Vianna that I'm okay? But how would I  be able to ask for help?

"Ah. Yeah. I'm back in our house."

"That's good. Everything will do well."

Vianna's voice sounded thrilled and I know she is happy that I'm back in our place. She only knew a portion of the story. How do I tell her everything? 

"Thank you Vi."

"You're welcome and tell Henry thank you for keeping an eye on you. Happy that you are together now."

"Same here Vi."

"But you don't sound happy."

"Just headache and stuff."

"Alright. Wait, how are the kids?"

"The kids. Oh. Yeah. I'm..."

I was about to tell Vianna about the k********g but Henry got inside the room and grabbed my phone. His eyes are like knife stabbing me and making me feel weak. 

"Vianna, hi! Can I just borrow my wife? We have so much to talk about."

I saw him winked at me and my heart stopped beating.

*****

The way he winked at me reminded me of that night when I first met him in a business gathering. I was 16 then and had no idea of what was going on. All I knew was to play volleyball, eat fishballs and experiment with cosmetics. It was just my father who pushed me to join him 'because he wanted me to show what corporate world is' and prepare me to the 'big world out there.'

My dad was a businessman then who was trying to augment his income for our growing family. He had lost a lot of bids and he needed to get connections through business gatherings. He said linkages will help you get your way up especially if you are linked with influential people.

I accidentally bumped into Henry and his girlfriend at the gathering and poured pineapple juice to his girl's satin red dress. It was so stupid of me to just freeze and didn't say sorry or anything at all.

"What? You'd just look at me! How dare you do this to my new dress!? This costs more than your life! You cant even buy a decent one!"

"Honey, it was an accident. Let it go."

Henry was like a knight in shining armour when he took off his coat and gave it to his girlfriend with matching kisses on her forehead. Love was in the air and it felt awkward just standing next to them.

"But hon, what does a teenager have to do with business engagements like this! She should be studying or helping her mom cook dinner."

I saw some guests looked at our direction and I was so scared of the scene I made. My dad will definitely get monstrous if he'd learn that I created chaos. I knew I have to do something to sort things out or else, I'd end up getting beaten at home. I don't want to feel my dad's belt on my butt. Never.

"I---m... I—m sorry ma—aaam. Im I.. I wont be able to pay for your dress but.. but I can offer free make up service for you. Just tell me when maam and I'd run to your place to help you. My Elective teacher said I'd do big time if I enter the fashion industry as a make-up artist. She said I have a future in there. So, maam, let me offer what I can do."

I tried to say confidently. Our high school cosmetology class taught us how to mix colors and transform one's face. I am not saying she doesn't have a beautiful face but I can make her more attractive and even look like a queen. I believe in what I can do. I even won in an interschool competition and a trophy is in my room to prove it.

"Young lady, no need for you to do that. Everything is under control. Trust me. Just enjoy the night."

Henry made an okay sign and winked at me before he pulled his girlfriend and headed to the venue's sunken garden. My world suddenly stopped and I was 'lost in space.' How could such a handsome guy like him be in love with a witch who thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world just because she is wearing a branded dress? He should look for someone who is far better than his girlfriend. 'He should be looking at me and not her.'

"Lorraine, do you hear me?"

I was brought back to my current world where Henry is no longer the knight I first met but a beast who has nothing but hatred for me. That wink he did earlier made me believe that everything is alright between us but I guess I was wrong.

"Ahmm..."

"I said you join me for lunch!!!"

"Alright."

***

"Fried eggs for lunch?"

It was just at the back of my mind but I heard myself saying it aloud which made Henry threw his spoon and fork. I know I have irritated him again.

"Do you really think that I'd ask our helper to prepare something extravagant for you? Common Lorraine, since you left this house you have become someone they do not know! And you don't deserve to be treated in special way."

"I didn't leave the house Henry, you pushed me away."

"Do not remind me to remind you that it is your fault. Not mine."

I was thinking of talking back but opted not to and started eating. I'm hungry and egg is better than nothing on my plate.

"The principal called up earlier. She said that the CCTV footage is ready. We will go to their school after you eat."

"Really? Then I'd be able to prove that I am innocent."-I was so happy knowing that finally, there will be a lead to where my kids are. That footage may lead us the way.

He stood up, went to me and pulled my hair. I wanted to scream but there was not voice that would want to come out. I felt helpless and weak.

"I see. Your innocence is far more important than knowing where they are."

"That's not what I mean. I am happy that we'd be able to see who the suspect is but..."

"There you go. All you know is to cry."

More than the physical pain that Henry is causing me, the thought of losing my children has brought me in tears. I have lost Henry but why lose them too?

"You know why? Because I was not able to do anything to save them. I should have stayed outside their school, wait for them to come and follow their school bus and wait for them to get in the house, even from afar rather than drowning myself with beer so I could sleep. This is all my fault. I should have not allowed the TRO to stop me from caring from them. From protecting them. God, they are just 10 years old. My babies are too young to experience this. I am one useless mother!!!"

I literally broke down and could not breath again. I felt Henry's strong arms held me tight. His hand patting my head.

"I love them so much Henry. I know I have done you wrong and hurt you and what I did is beyond forgiveness but why are my twins suffering? They are very sickly just like me. They dont have a phone so they can call you or me. They dont have anyone Henry. No one. My poor kids."

"Lorraine, please stop crying. Just eat your food so we can leave and see their principal."

Henry's voice has become calmer now and I know he is trying hard not to raise his voice.

"I don't think I'd be able to finish this. Let's just go to their school Henry. I need to know where my kids are. I need to find them Henry. I need them. I need my babies."

****

I was about to open the passenger seat when Henry stopped me from doing so. He said I should sit at the back because 'he couldn't afford seeing me beside him. I am an eyesore.' I did not argue anymore. I am too tired of fighting back and crying and if being silent will give me strength, then I'd rather not talk back. I need to be strong for my kids. I need to find the power to overcome.

I succumb to silence and remembered how Henry and I would enjoy going to our children's school. Back when they were still in Grade One, we would both drive them for their homeroom classes and before bringing me to my office, Henry would grab coffee from McDonalds and we'd drink coffee and sing and c***k jokes until we make fool of ourselves. He'd kiss me and tell me how much he loves me and how happy he is that I am his wife. Those were the days...

I dialled my assistant's number to tell her to extend my leave and that I'll be off from work today and maybe tomorrow and the next days or maybe I won't report to work anymore not until I find my kids and she'd temporarily act as my OIC and lead the agency for the mean time.

After Vianna prayed for me last night, I thought I'd be able to be hands on again with the agency but with the turnout of events, I don't think I'd be capable of leading my team.

"Juliet, please make sure that King's Ballroom will be signing the Memorandum today. I'd be sending you instruction through email from time to time. If they'd ask where am I, just please tell them that I'm out of the country and am in indefinite leave."

"I'm good Juliet. Dont worry. I can handle myself. Your boss is a brave girl."

"I know. Yes. Yes. Thank you Juliet. That means a lot."

"Who? Derrick Rodriguez? Seriously? They need our services? "

"Oh. Please close the deal. Yeah. Im counting on you Juliet. I know you can make it. I'd be back soon. I just need space."

"Thanks again Juliet. I am glad to have you. I have to go."

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but wasn't able to.

"Do you have your shades with you?"---Henry asked.

"Shades?"

"Shades. Yes. The black one. The one you usually wear."

"I don't have anything with me, not even my bag. I don't even have an idea how I got in our room."

"My room, not yours."

"Yeah, your room. How could I forget that?"

"Here, wear this."

Henry stopped the car and threw his shades to me.

"Let's keep whatever we have in private. Cover your eyes."

"I know."

"Good."

"Henry."

"Yes?"

"Thank you for taking care of me and running to my place, I could have died."

Henry didn't say anything and continued driving. I would steal glances from time to time and would catch Henry looking at me too. I don't know what's running in his mind but whatever it is, I just know that I still love him and if he really wants me out of his life and if that would make him happy, then I guess I'll just leave. To love someone is to sacrifice and let go even if it will cost you pain. I just hope that the CCTV will give us the answer.

***

Ms. Pearl, the school principal, has shown us the CCTV Footage and it was evident that there was no case of k********g at all.

After their class, they both went straight to the school bus service and found a way to escape the conductress and ran away. My twins seemed to ask permission to buy something from a store across the school and they were allowed to. It was clear that no one forced them or dragged them out of the school bus. They left the school on their own.

"It is very clear Ms. Pearl that your school's security is at fault. Expect a lawsuit tomorrow."

"We are doing necessary measures to help in locating your children. We are very sorry with what happened."

"Sorry? Just sorry! What if something wrong happens to my kids? Your sorry is not enough."

"Henry."

I tried calming Henry down. I would want to shout at Ms. Pearl too but that wont do anything. I am pretty sure Ms. Pearl herself is in deep water with what happened.

"Henry, let's go to the police first and give them the CCTV."

"Lorraine."

"Ms. Pearl and the school will help us. Right Ms. Pearl?"

"We are really very sorry Mrs. Borromeo. We will do all means to help you find our students and we are doing necessary measures to improve our security."

I held Henry's hand and was surprised that he didn't pull his hand from mine. He followed my lead and was just silent until we left the school.

"Give me your key. I'll drive."

"Lorraine."

"You're mad Henry. I don't think you'd be able concentrate."

"But what about you? I don't think you can drive either."

"Just give me the key."

If I'd show Henry how worried I am too, both of us would be irrational with our actions and we might end up losing the battle.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart.'

I heard Vianna's voice reminding me to lift everything to God. I am not the prayerful type of person but now as I drive, I know that I can only run to God and I have to be strong for Henry too. 

"Sleep."

"Lorraine."

"You have to sleep. I know you were not able to sleep last night because I was in your room and you could only sleep when you are in your bed and last night, I don't think you slept beside me."

Henry released a deep sigh and closed his eyes.

'Cast your burdens upon me.'

God, just lead the way. Lead the way and help us find our children back.