Andromache and His Little Secret

Chapter Two

Dear Friend,

Today is a good day. I am totally excited to finally meet one of my friends. You see, I haven’t met anybody aside from her this entire year. She’s so kind. She understands all things – who and what I am. I am sorry if I was so dramatic these past few days. It’s just that I wanted to feel if there was someone who can notice me. She’s the only one who noticed me. I want to feel that somehow, I know where I belong. I am glad to know that today is the time to feel it. I feel alive. I smell the scents of the Earth. I see things right now and I don’t want to make it stop.  The only thing that I remember is that when someone is waiting for you. I want to talk to her, to tell her old tales my grandmother used to say when I was a kid. I have seven days left to make things right. Seven days.

                                                                                                                                                                 Love always,

                                                                                                                                                                 Andromache

I sigh deeply when I see my mom carrying her bag. It wasn’t just a sigh. It was kind of an awful thing that I have with me for the longest time. Is she leaving us? No, she can’t be leaving us. Not today when I need her. My younger sister needs her the most and so is my grandmother. She’s in pain. She’s in her middle 70s, been struggling in congestive heart failure. She had this when I was eleven. I’m eighteen and it’s harder for me to think that I’m grown enough to feel her pain and sorrow. I can see her through my window. I am in my bedroom doing an assignment my English teacher had given. I can hear them crying, but I don’t want to go outside and witness what’s really going on. It will make things worse for me. I thought I told myself not to feel this anymore. I want to give her a hug and throw her a kiss, but that won’t make her change her decisions. What should I do? I can’t help myself to ignore this chaos. But this is what I feel.

I really don’t know how to feel right now. It’s kind of new to me. Yesterday, my father tried to stop my mom from leaving us. And he well-pleaded my mom not to go somewhere else where we can’t find her. I’m just holding to the realm that she’s okay in spite of the fact that she’s not. I hope there’s nothing wrong. It’s a big deal to me, even though my friends keep telling me that I may be a jinx in the family. I try to be recognizable by the thought of letting myself sink into people’s minds especially to my family’s. They used to abandon me when I was young. This story my grandma had told me made me feel aware of myself. There might be something wrong with me – an odd. There might be a one-sided battle between dad and mom since I was born. It’s a complicated thing. I intend to go to a psychiatrist last May before I knew what could happen. This one moment when you feel that you’re a waste, that people around you will just throw you away from outer space because you’re an alien to them. I mean, a person who is different from others. My name is different. Although you may think about Andromache of Scythia from Greek mythology. She was a princess of Thebe and the wife of the Trojan prince Hector. If you look on the other hand, I’m no match to this princess. She was a man battler. I am nobody. I am Andromache of Nowhere. I am a son of Theodore and Scylla Duncan. Perhaps the reason why they named me after a Greek mythology character is that my mom is named after it, too. Throughout the years, I learned to embrace this name. I am Andromache and I have a little secret to share.

I have been keeping this secret for the longest time as though it is part of me. I marked it as my property and no one knows about this. There are times I kind of wish I have someone to tell about it, but I am an island – owned by no one. So, I decided to just bury it deep in my memory, but the more I do, the lesser I get to know myself. This decision is a long time coming and I never really regret having it my own. It is mine alone to make. I don’t think my family would understand this nor they would ever ask about it. While I admire the secret I have been keeping as others will no doubt admire it also, what preoccupies me most is something to which I am sure no one else has ever paid attention to.

The thought of it draws me closer to the enigma. I brushed it off my mind because I need to prepare my things for school. While I’m walking down the street to reach school, I know something is about to happen. Mrs. Welsh gave me a reading assignment yesterday, I read and studied it. I am about to enter the English class when Mrs. Welsh stops me. “Andy, you don’t have to read the first chapter today. I figured that maybe the class needed an activity first before going to the next big thing.” She says with an apologetic smile. “It’s fine, Mrs. Welsh. I’ll save it for next time.” I say and hide my right hand in my pocket. Mrs. Welsh comes in first. I look for my chair and I see Olivia glaring at me.

“Settle down, everyone! Today, I am giving you an activity in which we will discuss love and gravity.” She knows it sounds cliché, but the entire class has to agree. “But before we start, I want you to find your partner.” She adds. While everyone is finding their partner, I just sit and wait for someone to call for me. All things come into something unexpected. I bow my head yet I can see Olivia coming straight to me. “Mind to have me as your partner?” She wheels in toward me. “Sure. Why not?” I say as I clear my throat. She sits down beside me and I genuinely feel that I am yet to offer the best part of a college with her.