His Betrayal

Leaving to Think

Mark stared at the screen in silence. He could almost see the gears turning in his head trying to come up with something to say to me. “Save the excuses and lies for someone else Mark. I came home early after an exhausting day thinking I would just rest for a couple hours before making dinner. Imagine my surprise to find you entertaining someone that is not me in our bedroom! How long and how many women, Mark?” It took everything in me to look at him and keep up my strength, all I could see was flashbacks to a couple of hours ago and the nightmare I walked into.

“It was just this one time, honey, and it didn’t mean anything! She was just someone from work and we had a couple of drinks after work and it was a horrible mistake that will never happen again, I swear.” he looked desperately at me. “Oh! That changes everything and makes it OK for you, huh? Well, here is the thing Mark, and listen carefully. What you did broke my trust in you and it can never be fixed. I told you where I stood on this and you even agreed. That being said, I can not trust now that it was only a one-time error,” I stated.

Mark desperately reached out to me and I dodged him again, cringing. Do not touch me with those hands after you have them all over someone else. I grabbed a couple more items and started picking up my bags to leave. “Do not call me, I need space and looking at you right now is too much. All I am getting is flashbacks to what I walked into earlier and I can’t think straight.”

Mark stepped back. “How are we going to fix this if we can’t talk through it, Jessie? We have been married for 5 happy years, and we were making plans for the future. We can fix this, please don’t leave!” He sounded desperate, but that didn’t affect me at all and, in fact, him saying these things was making me angry now.

“Married for 5 happy years, you say, but now I am not sure what that means. Was it happy for you because you thought women on the side were what you needed to be happy? I can’t even say happy anymore because I find myself questioning everything”. I threw back at him. I started walking to the door with my bags and added, “As I said don’t try to contact me, I need space.” I walked out the door to my car and threw the bags in the back of my SUV, slammed the door trying to control my shaking hands while I got in my car. I drove off and down the road and drove for a few minutes before pulling over and finally letting loose. I screamed and cried until I couldn’t do it anymore, then just sat and thought about where to go.

My family was not an option. My parents passed away about 8 years back in a vehicle accident. While I did miss them it was still hard because we didn't have the best relationship and weren't as close as some people are with their families. I would not stay with Amy and Dean because that would make it too easy for Mark to bug me. I finally decided on a hotel that was about a half hour away in a nearby town, so I was not too far from work. I checked into my room, paying cash so there was no way Mark could track my card and just threw down my stuff and filled a tub with hot water and decided to soak while watching whatever was on TV.

I was just getting ready to step into the tub when my phone alert went off. Sighing, I picked it up and saw a text from Amy.

Jessie, what’s going on?!?!?!? Mark is upset, saying you left.

He is venting to Dean that he knows he screwed up, but you

still left. Where are you? What happened? Please call me!

I sank into the tub and decided I could at least call her and explain. I texted her quickly to move to a room away from Mark and Dean if she was near them, then waited for her reply before calling. Amy answered right away, “God Jessie, what’s going on? Where are you and what happened to make you leave?” Amy sounded frantic when she answered. “I left after I came home early to Mark cheating on me in our bed with some random woman, Amy. You know my stance on this and he actually tried to deny it at first until I showed him proof.” I shared. I was emotionally drained and I didn’t want to talk about it anymore . I just wanted to calm down, my friend, and then soak and take my mind away from it all tonight.

“Jessie, he is very upset over here and you have been so happy since you met. Could it be just a mistake that you can work through together? People make mistakes and maybe with some time, talking and maybe therapy, I am sure you both can get back to being happy.” She sounded a bit off and dread filled me, and I was clearly frustrated by her words. “Amy, what’s going on? Why are you advocating for us to stay together when you know how I feel about stuff like that? How can I trust someone who has done this to not do it again and try to hide it better, or worse, bring me some random disease he contracts?”

“OK, now Jessie, don’t be mad at me, but Dean and I caught him out with someone about a month ago when you were going to a conference. Dean confronted him and then asked me not to say anything because he swore that Mark was just with a friend and that it was nothing. Mark said that they were just friends hanging out since you were gone and it was innocent. I questioned it but Dean and Mark swore to me it was nothing.” she said.

“Amy, first of all, if it was innocent to them, then why did they hide it? Secondly, as my friend, even if it was true, then you should have told me. Third, I would be questioning why Dean wanted you to hide something from your best friend, someone you've known longer than him. I am done talking about this because now I have a headache. I am taking space to think, please just leave me in peace because I don’t want to talk to any of you right now.” I hung up the phone before she could try to keep me on the line and then turned my phone off.

Right now, I don’t want to see or hear from anyone or anything because my trust has been fractured with my friend now too. How could she help hide this even if she thought it was innocent? Amy and I have been friends for years and we did everything together, but now I am not sure what I need except to just get past this day and start fresh with a clear head tomorrow. I climbed out of the tub, threw on a pair of comfy shorts and a tank top and climbed into bed. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.