Love and Fight

Internal Conflicts

As I approach, I see Mike sitting there offering help and Jade lying on the ground, surprisingly laughing like a child. But even that is not enough to improve my mood.

"Hey, girl, are you okay?" Mike says, appearing concerned. "That was quite a fall-"

I interrupt him with a shove to get him away from her and give him a hateful look to keep him at a distance as I crouch down to help her.

"Jade, are you okay? Can you get up?" I ask, offering my hand for support. She holds it firmly, still smiling like a goofball.

"I'm fine, don't worry." She says, sitting up and taking off her skates.

"Look, I'm really sorry." Mike says to Jade with a smile on his face. "You were going so fast, and I didn't see-"

"Shut up, Mike!" I angrily cut him off.

Jade leans against my arm, drawing my attention.

"Hey, I'm really okay." She smiles at me, hypnotizing me enough to relax a bit. "It's been so many years since I skated like that. It feels so good."

She sighs, and I relax completely.

"I'm glad you're happy, then, Jade."

We look at each other for a split second, and then I help her up.

Standing upright, she holds the skates close to her chest.

I quickly scan her body for any bruises she doesn't want to show, and aside from a minor scrape on her right arm, the knee pads and helmet seem to have done their job.

"I'm sorry again, girl." Mike says once more to Jade, and that makes my blood boil again.

"Oh, don't worry, seri-"

"Let's go." I abruptly interrupt and put my arm around her shoulder to move her away from that jerk Mike.

I know Jade is confused, but I don't want her near him. I can almost feel his frustration, and I couldn't care less.

"See you tonight, Jay!" He shouts as we walk away. Without turning, I raise my middle finger to him with my free hand.

By now, Jade has surely realized that Mike and I hate each other. Well, partly due to the rivalry between certain groups involved in the fights, but with him, it goes beyond that. The guy manages to be a complete a*shole to everyone, but he often mistreats and humiliates girls. The worst part is that he seems to do it just for pleasure or to pretend to have some kind of power, I don't know. The point is, I won't let him get close to Jade.

Maybe it's too early for me to embrace her like this and come off as somewhat possessive, but I had to find a way to show Mike that she's with me. I needed to protect her. So, when we get back to Ron, I awkwardly remove my arm from her shoulder.

“Jade, are you okay? Did you get hurt anywhere?" Even Ron seems concerned about her.

Once again, Jade reassures us that she's fine, and Ron looks at me as if questioning what just happened. I simply shake my head, signaling him to let it go.

"Jade, I think it's better if I take you home now." I tell her, probably still sounding too serious. She blinks a few times, still a bit confused about what happened.

"Sure, okay. I just need to return the equipment to the shed."

She walks away from us, and Ron looks at me curiously.

"Are you okay, man?"

"It was Mike who ran into her. I don't want him near her."

"I guess you won't be inviting her to watch your fight tonight, then?"

"Are you kidding?" I say a bit too loudly before lowering my voice again. "I don't want to give him a chance to get close to her, but I also don't want Jade to see me in a fight. She doesn't need to see that side of me."

"Didn't she see you on the day you met?"

"I don't think so. Or maybe she didn't recognize me, I don't know. But I'm sure if she had seen me, she would have reacted completely differently. I don't want that to happen." I say. Jade exits the shed and walks toward us with a slight smile, and I can't take my eyes off her. "Not yet, at least." I add, and quickly force a calm smile for her. "Ready to go?"

"Of course." She replies, her smile widening. "Nice to meet you, Ron. See you tomorrow."

"Take care, Jade." He says, and we walk leisurely toward the park exit, with Jade excitedly telling me about the feeling of skating again.

In the park's parking lot, we put on our helmets and hop on my bike. Jade hesitates for a moment before hugging me, and I smile back at her.

I don't rush too much to get to her house, as if I'm trying to delay the moment of goodbye at least a little bit. But as soon as we arrive and I stop the bike, she gets off and carefully takes off her helmet, trying not to mess up her hair too much. I find it amusing. I follow suit and remove mine.

"You know." She says somewhat shyly. "You didn't have to take it so seriously about bringing me home before dark, Jasper. I'm not a child with a curfew either."

I smile, looking into her eyes before I can respond.

"No, I know that. It's just that I have a commitment later tonight."

"Oh, one of your fights?" She says in a tone I can't quite decipher. I nod timidly. "And you're not going to invite me to watch?"

She smiles playfully, and I hesitate, not sure how to respond. How do I tell her that I don't want her to see me fighting? That I don't want her to see how I am when I fight? My brain seems to freeze as I think about what to say to her.

"Hey, relax." She says gently. "I'm not a big fan of that kind of thing either. It's okay."

I'm sure my panic must have shown for her to respond like that. And I'm sure not saying anything was much worse than saying anything silly to her. Jade must be upset about it. And I simply don't know what else to say or do to fix the situation.

Like a complete i***t, I just give her a quick smile in response and then do absolutely nothing else. We just stand there staring at each other awkwardly for a moment before she breaks the silence.

"Well, I guess I should be going then." She says, handing me the helmet she was wearing. I mechanically take it, expressionless and on autopilot. Can I be any more of an i***t? "Thank you for the outing, Jasper. I really enjoyed it." Jade says, showing me a kind smile, and that's what snaps me out of my complete stupor.

"It was nothing, Jade." I smile back at her as I rest our helmets on the bike. "I had a great time with you too. And if you're interested, there are still many places worth visiting in Brownveen. And I'm a great guide."

"I'll think about it." She replies.

We continue to gaze at each other for a few more seconds, and I wonder if I should kiss her or not. She's close enough for me to cup her delicate face in my hands and bring her lips to mine. My eyes wander to her lips, and I realize how desperate I am to kiss her, to touch her and feel her gentle touch on me.

I usually don't even hesitate in these moments; I know what I want, and I know what the girl wants. But I can't have that certainty with Jade. Why the hell is it so difficult to act around this girl? Why can't I be sure of what to do with her?

"Well." She pulls me back to the surface of my own thoughts once again. "I guess I better go for real now." I nod, still feeling a bit numb. "See you tomorrow, Jasper."

She waves at me before turning to walk towards the entrance of her house.

"Goodbye, Jade." I say, too quietly.

She waves and smiles one last time before disappearing through the door.

I secure the helmet she handed me to the back of the bike and put on my own before getting on and starting the engine.

For a few minutes on the way to the warehouse where the fight will take place, I think about everything that happened and feel like a complete i***t for acting the way I did. My brain seems to lose the ability to think logically when I'm with Jade, and I become extremely unsure, not knowing what to do next. I hate it, but at the same time, it's not enough reason to want to stay away from her. I want her close to me. But not when I have to fight, not when I turn into something that would definitely scare her. That would push her away.

But I can't give up fighting either. It's the money from the bets that keeps me going, so I need to win as many times as possible. And I need to win tonight, so I have to focus. Letting myself get carried away by thoughts of Jade will only make me insecure again, and then I'll lose. I can't afford that luxury.

I park the bike on the side of the warehouse, watching the others arrive to prepare the place for later.

Determined to focus on the upcoming fight, I push aside all the other thoughts that worried me and concentrate on just one thing: I'm going to win this f*cking fight tonight.