Hunted

Chapter 25: It's Not the Same!

I’ve heard the phrase time flies when you’re having fun…but time flies even when you’re not. It’s already been over a month probably closer to two since I opened up to Hope. Things with my cousin were good. She and Aaron had started to plan their bonding ceremony which was apparently like a wedding. I was scolded when I called it a wedding so I’m doing my best to change my verbiage.

Everyone was pretty much going along with their life. Dr. Colleen was leaving soon. The other day I had walked in on a debate between her and my dad. He wanted her to stay and “fix” me. Which I don’t blame him for, and I didn’t get upset by it because he was right. Dr. Colleen really didn’t agree. She said there was no guaranteed way to “fix” me. She went on this whole tangent about how our brains can only handle so much trauma. Eventually she let it slip that the most effective way she had used previously was to simulate the traumatic event that may have caused the stunting of my first shift. Of course my father was not about to simulate or have someone simulate me being attacked.

Dr. Colleen told him I wouldn’t be physically attacked simply brought back to that mindset in one of her therapy sessions. What I took from her explanation was that it would be like hypnosis. I was up for it but my dad wasn’t so sure. He didn’t want me reliving the pain…but what he didn’t realize was I relived it just about every day. I could still hear him as I went to sleep each night. Sessions with Dr. Colleen wasn’t going to change that.

When my dad refused to agree to the sessions she told him that it wasn’t his choice. He of course pulled Alpha rank on her and she said she was going to leave. All of this was a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear. The problem with that is they were yelling…and I was right outside the door. I wanted to burst in and tell my dad off…but that was terrifying so I decided it was best to not do that. I did have to talk to him. I wanted to do the sessions. I wanted to…well I wanted to figure out if I could get over it.

My dad was sitting at the kitchen table reading the pack paper with his lunch. He started coming home on the days that I had off.

“Hey dad.” I smiled and sat down across from him. He looked up and gave me a smile.

“Hey honey what’s up?” He took a bite of his sandwich. It was nice that he came home to eat lunch with me. It made me feel like..well like we were this cute family.

It was now or never. I took a deep breath. “I want to do the sessions.” My dad’s face turned into a frown.

“What do you even know about that? I told Colleen to not mention it to you…” He was about to stand up when I put a hand on his arm.

“You were yelling…and I was snooping…we can get to that later but the point is…dad I want to do it. I want to find out if I’m ever going to be a real shifter or not.” I pleaded with him giving the best puppy dog look I could muster.

“Emmry…this would be bringing up…you don’t know…it…it could hurt you.” My dad frowned more covering my hand with his own.

“Dad….I’ve been hurt for a long time. I’m finally ready to talk about it and to…well figure out how to move on from it.” Even though he was frowning there was pride in my dad’s face.

“Alright. Fine. I’m going to be right outside when you do them okay?” He told me giving me that stern dad look. I laughed and nodded. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I gave him a small pat on the head and then headed outside. It was a beautiful day. I was supposed to hang out with Colton after lunch with my dad, but he canceled. He had been doing that a lot lately. He still would come and hang out with us when we were all in a group…but when just him and I were supposed to do things he suddenly had other plans.

I didn’t want to take it to heart. It wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose right? He was just a busy guy whose brother was back in town for a little while. He did tell me he was going to be busy with him. I had really grown to enjoy hanging out with Colton. So, it hurt a little but it’s okay. I have my friends and one person deciding they needed to pull back from me is fine. Everyone gets busy.

Since Colton canceled on me I told Hope I would come over to Aaron’s and help her plan the Bonding ceremony. I had never been to Aaron's before. It was a small house near the edge of the town. It was close to the woods. It reminded me a lot of the houses I grew up in. I rushed up the stairs and knocked on the door. Hope answered smiling.

“Goddess what took you so long?” She laughed and pulled me inside shutting the door behind us.

“I had to talk to my dad about the sessions with Dr. Colleen remember?” I gave her a look. She nodded and sat down on the couch. “Right my bad.” She pulled out a bunch of magazines and books.

“You know this is…” I started to remind her about what I thought but a warning glare stopped me. “nothing like a human wedding at all.” I finished giving her a big smile.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not. You just haven’t been to one so you don’t understand.” She wiggled her finger at me. “Also I’m super glad you could come over but didn’t you have plans today?”

I sighed and shrugged. “I was supposed to..but Colton’s canceled every time…we make plans or I ask him to hang out and he says yes and then the day of or the day before he cancels saying something came up. I don’t understand what I did wrong. I thought we were friends.” I tried very hard to not sound upset. I felt like I was acting like a spoiled child. Just because Colton was my friend didn’t mean he couldn’t have other friends. I needed to get over it.

“Oh….has he? I mean his brother came home for awhile. They’re pretty close…I’m sure he’s just trying to catch up as much as he can.” Hope wouldn’t look at me. Something was wrong.

“You’re not telling me the truth…plus he started this like a month ago. His brother wasn’t even in town then.” I gave her a look. The look would have worked if she was actually you know looking at me.

“Hope what are you not telling me.” I demanded. She wouldn’t look up at me. It looked like she was having some type of internal debate. I groaned. “Hope you are my best friend, my cousin, and hopefully I’ll be your Alpha eventually and you will be my Beta. So tell me.” I did my best to sound forceful. I’m pretty sure I sounded like a 4 year old demanding for cookies before dinner but that was okay.

“Alright alright fine.” Hope sighed and looked over at me. “Remember the day you told me about your attack?” I nodded and frowned a little not sure where it was going.

“You know how we heard someone and I said it was just a pack member…?” Okay now really where is this girl going with this?

“Yes….I’m guessing you know who the pack member was…” Oh no….

“It was Colton. He asked me not to..say anything.” Hope gave me a pleading look. That’s when the realization hit. Colton heard what I had told Hope. He heard about the attack…and now he was avoiding me. Oh…he.. probably…I couldn’t stop one tear from falling but I quickly swiped it away.

“He heard everything didn’t he?” I asked now looking at my lap.

“I think so yes…” Hope sighed and squeezed my had. “That probably isn’t why he’s canceling. I’m telling you it’s a family thing.”

She was trying so hard to make me feel better but I knew the truth. He heard about what happened and now he couldn’t even look at me. I don’t…I can’t blame him. It was horrible what happened. He probably felt such pity for me that it made him feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t the first time. People make a lot of assumptions when they see my scars. Though all those times it was just rumors and speculation that caused people to split away from me. This time it was the truth.

“He either feels pity towards me and doesn’t want to deal with the baggage or he finds me to be disgusting and dirty.” I nodded and closed my eyes.

“OH that’s just stupid Emmry.” Hope scolded me.

“Okay so you over hear your really good friend tell another friend that they were r***d. Instead of ya know acting normal or asking about it you just suddenly stop being alone with them? Do you not see what I see?!” I shook my head.

“He either thinks I’m disgusting or he things I’m pitiful. Either way he can’t stand to be alone with me.” I sighed and shook my head. “It’s fine. I’m use to it. I just..I thought it was different here..or at least he was different. But it’s okay. Thank you for telling me.” I looked up at Hope and gave her a small smile. She smiled back but it would have barely counted as a smile.

“Okay so let’s talking bonding ceremony….” I asked looking through the magazines. I was done talking about this for now anyway. Hope I guess agreed with me because she started going on about dresses and the location not that they had many choices. It was nice to get my mind off of everything for a little while.