Hunted

Chapter 15: Memorial

I watched a movie once when I was little about a girl who could control the weather..or well her emotions controlled the weather. Whenever she was happy it was sunny, mad there would be some type of natural disaster and when she was sad it rained. Today I felt like I had that ability. The day started off just cloudy and gloomy. Everyone kept saying “I hope the rain stays off” like saying it was going to actually change the outcome of the day.

I was secretly hoping it would rain. When I was younger my mom and I would put on rain boots and a rain jackets and run around the fields holding our faces up to the skies and just taking it all in. There was some adrenaline jump we got by running around during a storm. It was dangerous but not dangerous enough we’d actually get hurt.

I wanted to relive every moment I could…I wish I could have more moments with her. I missed her, I missed her advice and her smile… well I guess I just missed everything about her.

It was just about time and I couldn’t stop smoothing the black dress Hope had let me borrow. She was a little shorter than me so the dress didn’t go as far down as I was use to dresses going but I’m sure it didn’t look back. Hope assured me many times that I looked like a normal person in it. I didn’t put any make up on even though this would probably be an occasion to do so because..why put something on that I’m going to cry off in about an hour?

“Emmry?” My dad called before he knocked on the door. “Come in.” I answered turning to grab my bag that had the note I had written. I wasn’t sure if I was going to read it or just place it at her headstone.

“Hey love.” He opened the door and smiled. “You look so beautiful…and just like her. Wow.” My dad blinked a bunch and then shook his head. “The only thing you got from me Emmry is our eyes. Otherwise you are 100 percent your mother’s daughter. Though I guess your height is from me too.”

I couldn’t help but give a small laugh and shake my head. “Whatever dad. Come on it’s time to go right?” I turned and moved by him out of the room.

“Yes it is. Let’s go.” We headed outside and he opened the door to a black car. The Alpha family cemetery wasn’t far away you could easily walk there but Dad insisted we drove in this car and everyone else drive behind us. He wanted it as big of a show as he could make it I guess.

As we walked up to her grave I could feel the emotions hitting me harder than they had before. I wasn’t there when they buried her. It was over night. My dad just came in and told me that she was buried in the Alpha cemetery and that I could visit her if I wanted. I’m guessing that’s why now he wanted to have a big memorial for her to make it up to her..to us.

There was a woman I had never met singing softly in the front while the entire pack…what seemed to be the entire pack surrounded us. I stood next to my dad as one by one someone came up and talked about my mother.

One of her friends from her school days talked on and on about what my mother was like back then. How beautiful she was, how she could have anyone she wanted, how smart she was, how everyone just loved her and the list continued for nearly six minutes. I wanted to cut her off because she didn’t know my mom like I knew her. No one here really did. Everyone had the same story, beautiful women finds her mate as the Alpha, falls in love, has a mate ceremony, had a baby, then well the story diverges because my mom obviously left with me. That’s where their knowledge of her ends.

I know I should be happy to hear all the wonderful things they have to say about her..but the woman they knew was 17 years ago…she wasn’t that same person. I mean yes my mother was beautiful, and kind, and lovely but she was also extremely stubborn, and paranoid and you can’t forget to mention how paranoid and scared my mother was. We spent most of my life living in this constant fear. When I was attacked her paranoia got worse and then when it happened again…it well things definitely had a different tone.

I love my mother I do with all my heart. She did everything she could to help me…but I just..I wish she would have brought me here instead of ran everywhere with me. After meeting my dad and seeing how he protects people I just don’t understand why she made those choices.. I want to be able to ask her why.

It was my father’s turn to talk. He stood in front of everyone silent for awhile. I guess he couldn’t get it together enough to really speak at first. Finally he started telling the story about the first time he saw my mom.

“She was so beautiful. I’d never seen a woman so beautiful in my life. I could smell her scent from across the meadow and I knew she was mine…” My mom dancing and playing in a meadow is a fantastic memory to have of her. That was when she was at her best, it didn’t matter if it was sunny or rainy she still loved to be among the flowers and the sky.

My father went on to talk more but I wasn’t listening. I just keep thinking about how she was truly gone. She was there in the ground below my feet. She wasn’t going to dance in the rain or in the sun among the flowers anymore…at least she’d get to dance in the sky.

It was supposed to be my turn to say something but I couldn’t do it. I looked around at all the people who had come and just shook my head and give my dad a pleading look. He nodded and continued with the service. Everyone placed a daisy on her grave before walking towards their cars. I stood and watched each flower as it was placed. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. My dad went to wrap his arms around me and I flinched away.

“I’m sorry.” I could tell he was hurt so I grabbed his hand and placed it on my shoulder. I didn’t like the fact that it was there but he was hurting too and I was going to eventually get over my fear. He never actually hurt me. I needed to become comfortable..

Once the last flower was placed my dad and I placed our own flowers down. Dad leaned down and kissed the top of the headstone and sighed. He was whispering something that I couldn’t hear.

We had just started to walk away when the rain started to come down. It started as small droplets but it soon turned into a down pour. My dad and I ran to the car but by the time we got there we were soaking wet.

“I guess we should go home and change first.” He couldn’t help the chuckles.

“She wanted us to get wet.” I laughed and shook my head. “She has a wicked sense of humor.” I mumbled and used a hair tie to pull my wet hair up into a ponytail.

“Yes yes she does.” My dad sighed and patted my shoulder. Then we drove home to change.

The rest of the memorial went fine, everyone cried and shared stories. I got to meet my mom’s old friends and that was fine. I was just glad when it all ended.

It was nearly dark when I finally got back to my room. I was about to slip my dress off when I saw a flower on the chair by my window. It was a wild flower and next to it was a note.

She was a good mother, I’m sorry you had to lose her.

I stared blankly at the note and at the flower. All I could think was no not again. This can’t be happening again.