Tween Shorties

Unseal My Heart

          “He used to be my childhood bestfriend. We grew up together and studied at the same school. There we met new companions. But when we were old enough, I discovered something…something that I think was not right. A feeling that drives me crazy…and then I changed. I’d kept distance between us without him noticing it. Because he’s………he’s…he’s a real i***t!! He's so numb. He doesn’t change. He’s still the child I knew from the first time we met. That’s why I’m mad, always irritated and I can’t show him my true self! I don’t know what to do. I just don’t have the courage…,” she saw him smiling at her.

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          It’s Halloween, the day she didn’t want to have. She was afraid with spooky and horror things. That’s why she decided to stay at home. Then, he came to visit her and invited her to go out and enjoy the holiday. She refused but her mom pushed her to so she had nothing but to do so.

          As they walk under the bright orange lights of the street, she tried to stay calm and be comfortable watching the surroundings that was full of Halloween decorations.

"Scared?" He teased her as he chuckled.

"No! I’m not!" She denied, feeling her cheeks blush.

"Yeah! Right!"

          She saw him rolled his eyes so she snubbed him in return.

'I hate you!'

          She sulked like she won't forgive him. But when she noticed that he wasn't accosting her, she looked back at him…and  he’s gone. She then came into a halt looking anxious.

"Jun…This is not funny!"

          She felt goosebumps…cold air touched her fair skin.

'No! Please! I wanna go home! I thought so! I shouldn’t have come.I shouldn't have gone with him.'

          She gathered her courage and started walking again. She saw other people in their Halloween costumes: fairies, superheroes, police officers, nurses, ghosts, witches, zombies etc. But she was drawn more to those scary things. She was frightened. She can't helped to think that maybe they're real and she's going to be their victim. She was paranoid. The laughter she hears, the noises coming from the surroundings, it seemed like a thriller music in a horror movie for her. She felt a shiver ran down her spine.

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "All I got to do is walk straight home. That's all. I can do this. You see nothing. Think of something. Ah! Butterflies! Yeah. Just think of butterflies."

          She was trying to calm herself. But then suddenly, someone covered her mouth. She resisted and tried shouting but the noise of happiness between the people who were enjoying the holiday had covered all her voice up. And she was taken…brought to a dark quiet lonely place. She really felt nervous and out of control. As soon as the person holding her released her hands, she quickly fell off the ground and crouched like a scared kid and covered her face. Moments passed and still there was silence. She was trembling, afraid that she would die any moment now. She badly wanted to go home, so she gathered all her courage just to open her eyes. Darkness surrounded her, seeing almost nothing. She was alone…in front of an old house, and looks like it’s abandoned.

'What's this place? Oh Please Mom, I wanna go home.'

         She was too scared to circle her vision around. She was worried that she might saw something. Then, she heard whispers and her heart started to beat faster more than before. She couldn’t resist to not look around…but then at the corner of her eyes…she saw a white dress from afar moving towards her. She felt horrified.

'WHAT—THE HELL—IS THAT?'

          Panic quickly came to her, but her knees started trembling that she lost the chance to ran away herself. She slowly moved backward as her wide eyes were focused at the white dress thinking that if she just divert her eyes off it or even just blink, it would suddenly teleport to where she was…until she hit something. She turned around immediately, and found a scary monster mask. She screamed. She was about to run when someone blocked her in front. All she could do was fell on her knees and bent herself. She covered her ears and she started praying. 

'Someone stop this nightmare! Please!'

          After then, she heard laughter, and she recognized one of the voices.

"That’s awesome guys! Our trick was successful!" 

          She didn't want what her mind was thinking. She obviously didn't want to believe it. How could she? As she raised her head, she confirmed that it was him with his buddies. She suddenly felt a stabbing pain in her chest. 

'Jun…Why?' 

          She slowly shook her head, her face stricken with disbelief. She then picked herself up and ran away.

"Huh? Noreen…”

          He definitely saw her face. That face filled with hurt. He didn't mean to. He followed her. He ran faster than her that's why he caught up to her. He was holding her arms facing her bowed down head.

"Noreen! I’m — I’m sorry —"

          She raised her face and took a glance of him while her tears started to fall off her cheeks. 

"How? How many times do I have to hear that word again in order for you to found out that you’re already hurting me too much?"

          He was surprised.

"Answer me!"

"I know that I shouldn’t have done it."

"Then why did you?" 

          His mouth was zipped. Why did he? 

"You know that I’m afraid with those kind of things yet you still did it! What are you thinking?"

          He tried to hug her but she jerked away.

"Don’t go near me! I – I—"

          No words came out from her mouth. Her eyes were covered by her front hair.

'You definitely can’t understand me.' 

          She quickly turned around and ran away.

"What have I done?"

          He whispered. He lost his energy that only his eyes could watch her leaving. He felt sad and guilty.

          The next day, he went to her house to apologize. However, her mom said that she left home as soon as she finished lunch and didn’t mention where she’d gone.

"I think she’s still mad at me. 'Where could she be? Hmmm…'

          On the other side, she was there in her favorite place, in the meadow, in the field of flowers not too far from their place. She was crying again.

'I want to forget him but I can’t…' 

          She lay down on the ground, closed her eyes and drew the image of him on her mind. She remembered his smile but then she swiftly opened her eyes and sat back.

"What am I thinking? Grrr! I hate you so much!"

"Heh? So you’re still thinking of me all this time huh?" 

          He laughed and she was irritated again as she saw him behind her standing.

"You’re just ruining my day!"

"I had already ruined your day."

'Huh? What does he mean?'

"Look! I’m truly sorry about yesterday. Really sorry. I mean it."

'I won’t fall for your trap again.'

"The next days of your life will all be ruined if you’re not gonna forgive me. I’m sure you can’t keep those hatred in your heart for a lifetime. And besides, my days too will not be complete without my l—best friend."

          She was again moved by his words.

'He’s right! I can’t stand to avoid him. After all, you’re still my first love.'

"Here."

          He handed a flower to her.

"i***t!!" 

          Then she hugged him and felt warm and happy again. He smiled. They stayed there until sunset. He was lying on the ground and she was sitting beside him.

'I can’t believe I did it again.' 

          She stared at his handsome face while posting a sweet smile on hers. Then he noticed her.

"Hey!"

"Yes?"

"Looks like you’re daydreaming again."

"Ah—a little…"

"I remember those days when we were young playing with each other."

"And then?"

"And then I usually play hide and seek with you."

"Aha? And I also remember that you always cheated at me. You'll always left me hiding when in fact you're not really searching."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did! Don't lie to me you i***t!"

          They laughed. He paused for a while and so she was.

"Thanks Noreen."

          He looked directly in her eyes and she felt her blood rose to her cheeks. 

"F—for what?"

"For being my best friend ever all the time."

          She looked away and her smile disappeared.

"That’s nothing."

          She said as she lowered her head.

'I guessed he doesn’t really have feelings for me.'

"Is there a problem?"

          She shook her head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah! Maybe I’m just hungry. Let’s go home."

"Ok." 

          He got up first and lend her a hand. 

"Thanks."

          “He led me home and I left a happy face on his eyes. I waited for him to leave and then I went in. My mom welcomed and invited me for dinner but I refused. I told her that I lost my appetite. I went up on my room and lied to my bed. There I thought of something…I love him but he does not, so what’s the effort for? I’m just his best friend and that’s what will I always be.” She buried her face on her pillow and cried to her heart until she fell asleep.

          The next morning, she woke up early, ate her breakfast and got ready for school. 

"I’m going mom!"

          She left home and had a walk. As she reached the next corner of the street, he popped up waving to her. 

"Hey! Good morning sunshine!"

         She just smiled in reponse to him.

"I’m gonna join the student council next year. And I’m………"

'He talks a lot today. He’s very alive. I wish I could always see you in that mood and face but— '

         She secretly sighed. They stopped.

 "We’re here."

"Ah! Yeah. Come. I’ll take you to your room."

"No. No. You should go now. You might be late for your class."

"Oh, ok. Thanks for worrying…Bye!"

          She was suddenly startled while watching him leave.

'What was that for?'

          She took another sigh and finally went to her class still remembering what he said.

'What am I thinking? Of course, he’ll think that I worry because he treats me as his best friend.' 

          She slapped her own face with her both hands.

 'All I need to do is to forget everything I feel. In order to do that, I have to make myself busy.' "Right!"

          She followed her plan. She joined the campus paper club, the school staffs and others to entertain herself. Every time he talks to her, she will say sorry for having no time for him. She finally managed to keep herself from being hurt. Slowly, the pain in her heart was becoming numb. Even if she’s in school or home or anywhere, still it’s about school matters and no other than that. 

          Until one day, she was in the library borrowing some books. When she went out, she saw him waiting for her.

"Hey!" 

          She started. 

"Ah!—Noreen."

"Yes?"

"Ah—Let me help you carry those books."

"No. I’m alright. You need something?"

          He didn’t answer instead he walked and passed by her paused for a moment and said…“I’ll talk to you later”…and he left. 

'Why would he want to talk?' "Hmmm…"

          Classes ended. She was about to go home when he came out. 

'Oops! Have to go now.'

"Are you avoiding me all this time?"

          She was guilty but she didn’t show him.

"Why?" Something is reflected in his eyes. 

"Huh?"

"You don’t have to lie again and throw alibis for being busy."

          And she was trapped.

'He found out!'

"Did I do something wrong again?"

          They were in silence.

'What’s with this atmosphere?'

"I thought you are my best friend."

          That line.. and yes she was hurt again.

"I miss you…"

'What?!'

          She suddenly looked in his sad eyes.

'No! I won’t fall again.' 

          Until that she can’t control her tears and both of them were surprised. She wiped those crystal fluids off her cheeks but they just kept falling.

"Noreen."

          He was alarmed.

"Don’t go near me, please."

"But—"

"I’m sorry. I’m going home."

         He held her arm to stop her.

"Wait."

"Let go of me!" 

         And there she finally snapped out.

"I can’t stand it anymore! All I can do is to pretend so that I won’t hurt too much."

"But I’m hurting too."

            She scoffed, disbelieving. "It’s been a long time since I kept this feeling, did you know that? I hated you so much! I hate you for not noticing what I feel. And I hated myself too for being…such a coward. But I don’t want to blame myself…I hate you that’s why I’m falling back."

"You don't have to fall back. And you don't have to hate me either anymore…because I like you. I like you, Noreen.

          She was in a shock. It's like the time stopped and everything froze. She's internalizing what he said. Then he finally started speaking again.

"I realized it last time. Those words of yours…made me feel what I really want to feel. Don’t blame yourself because I was the one at fault. I’m sorry I hurt you. I was resisting myself because I thought you didn’t like me, and I won’t sacrifice our true friendship for my own stupid love. I keep telling myself that I can’t definitely lose you. You are very precious to me. But since that incident, I told myself that I would change...for you, but here you are avoiding me. And I can’t stand that."

          She knew that every word that came from his lips were sincere. His eyes full of regrets for hurting her but also full of his love for her. Still stunned, she can't thought of anything. She was mad, but surprised. All of the feelings she kept in her small heart bursted out. But at the same time...she was happy...happy for having him back.

"You i***t!!!" 

            “Finally, I knew what he felt. I was so happy that I threw myself at him and hugged him tightly. Sparkling tears fell from my eyes, but those tears were my joy. At last, we made into each other. I don’t need to pretend anymore. And I had my courage and confidence. I can say all out the world what I want to. I learned from being hurt and I learned that words are great and powerful. As I let myself see the world, I can grow better. Thanks to my bestfriend.”

-The End-