All Over Again

Chapter 4: Ohio, here I come!

“Do you have anything to say in your defence, because now is the time”, the person on the other side of the phone says coolly, indicating an upcoming storm.

“I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know what to say. I was going to prepare whatever I wanted to explain pertaining to my situation, but I guess it’s too late for that. I was going to come to yo-”, I murmur timidly, but she interrupts me.

“I want facts, Tenysi, not excuses. I know you were not planning to visit us which is fine considering you don’t like travelling a lot, but I also know that you never went on the vacation that you said you and your husband had gone to”, she says firmly.

How does she know that? Nobody in my circle knows about this, and I don’t remember any news of my divorce getting out because I went MIA after that.

“Nana, what are you talking about?”, I ask reluctantly, knowing what she is going to say.

“You take me for a fool, don’t you? I saw the news of your husband and a lady with a wig on T.V. Aaron is in New York, meeting other ladies, and you haven’t called in what...three weeks or so? What is happening between you two? Are you okay? Did that asshole do something stupid again?”, she rambles non-stop.

“Nana, stop and breathe. I’m okay and completely healthy. As for the news that you saw, I will talk to you guys privately. I will come to Ohio at the end of this week. I’m busy at work right now, so I’ll try and finish everything by Friday”.

“Have you started working somewhere, Tenny? You think you’re big enough to hide things from your grandparents now”. Her voice quivers and I feel bad for hiding things from her and Papa, but I was helpless.

“I’m ready to apologize as many times as you want me to, Nana, but believe me, there was not much that I could do. I just want you to trust me and let me come there to explain everything”, I say weakly.

“We trust you with everything, baby. You are our world. Your Papa and I will be waiting for you to visit us this weekend. Till then, you take good care of yourself and keep texting me”, she says finally.

I laugh at this. “Okay, Nana. Give my love to Papa”.

She hangs up the phone and I feel like a little weight of the burden has been lifted off of my shoulders. Now, I look forward to throwing away the rest of it.

When it’s quarter past seven, I close all the documents, switch off my laptop, keeping a few important files in the shelf and lock it. It has become a routine to come late and leave late, and it’s going to cost me a lot one day, that’s what my friends say.

Going two floors through the stairs, I reach Mike’s office and release a sigh seeing him leaving for home. As I said, one of my friends is always there to accompany through the elevator journey.

“Hey, Tenysi. I was just coming to your floor. Ready to go?”, he says.

“I guess”, I say sheepishly.

“How’s Berry?”, he says once we click on the buttons of the lift.

“He’s good. Missing you guys”.

“We can pay him a visit on Sunday. How does that sound?”, he asks genuinely.

Sounds bad, Mike. I have a confrontation to handle.

“Talking about the weekend, I don’t I would be able to join you people tomorrow”. I want to go so bad but I have to clean up my mess first.

“Why? Something came up? You’re not feeling well?”, he asks worriedly.

“Uh, no, I’m fine, Mike. I just have to go visit my grandparents in Ohio. I haven’t met them in ages. My Nana called me today, and she was upset. I have to tell them about my divorce”, I say not knowing who to feel sorry for.

“That’s totally fine, Tenysi. If you want, one of us, or all of us can join you?”, he offers sincerely.

“No, Michael, that would be too much to ask. I know how bad you guys want to let loose this weekend, and even I want that, but I don’t want to be a spoilsport. You guys can go ahead with your plan without me. We can plan something for some other weekend”.

I know my friends would abandon the idea of going out as soon as they found out I’m opting out. I don’t want to ruin their plans; they seemed hyped enough in the lunch room while talking about them. But, now that Michael knows that I won’t be coming, I’m sure all of them would know by the time I reach home. That’s the type of people my friends are. They can’t go a day without filling each other in on any issueumour. Basically, ours is a group of gossip mongers. It’s a plus point that nobody can see through our acts of propriety.

“Okay, if you say so”, he says as if he would do as I asked.

We part ways in the parking lot of our building, and go towards our cars. Mike pulls out of the premises before me. I put my handbag and phone in the backseat of the car, and start the car. The roads were almost empty; no souls could be seen except for those who were leaving for home. Not able to bear the silence and boredom, I turn on the radio while yawning. I switch to my favourite music station to pass some time. The song which fills the car is AJ Mitchell’s I don’t want you back.

I’ve been waiting for the day you say you want me back

I’ve been alone but baby I can’t seem to understand

You threw my heart into the flames

I took out pictures out the frames

I tried to keep ‘em just in case

If you’re wondering if I still love you

After so much time has passed

Since you asked...

I don’t really want you back

I just need the life we had

I don’t really want you back

No, I don’t...

I feel something wet on my dress shirt, and I see that those are my tears. I touch my cheek and feel the same wetness there, and realise that I have been crying. But what was I crying for? Or, rather who was I crying for?

The song really brought back some memories. It titillated the box of pain, and hence some it came out in the form of tears. I can relate to the words so much. It’s as if the song was written for me. I don’t want him back in my life, even the idea of it disgusts me, but my heart couldn’t seem to let go of the past. It wanted all the good time back. It acted like a child crying for a broken which cannot be mended in any way.

But my head was opposed to the idea. It wanted nothing to do with all the memories, be it good or bad. It had its eyes set on the future, and the ways to make it better. It was focused and oriented, unlike the heart which was emotional and disarrayed.

I know I promised myself that I would never ever cry for that person again, but I fail ofttimes. Sometimes, I think I don’t really cry for the person, but I cry for the memories, the moments, the happiness, the togetherness and most importantly the love. The love which completed me, which made life a garden full of roses. But, what I needed to look out for the most was the thorns. I was so lost in the beauty of the flowers that stepped over the wilted ones and hurt myself.

Thinking about ways to strike a balance between these two, soon my building appears. I park my car and head towards my apartment. Taking Berry from Martha, I follow my daily routine. As soon as I drop on my bed after having dinner, my phone starts ringing and I see a an incoming video call from Kelly, Josh, Mike, Cynthia and Jose.

Why am I not surprised?

Accepting the face time, I hear everyone talking at the same time.

“Tenysi, what is wrong with you?”

“Babe, you okay?”.

“Why wouldn’t you take us with you?”.

“Are you n***d under the sheets?”.

“Baby, you don’t meet me any- wait what...shut up Josh! Who even let you in?” shouts Jose. Everyone makes a face at Josh, including me.

Expect him to ask the weirdest questions in every situation.

“Dear best friends, except Josh, I’m fit as a fiddle as you can see. I am just going to leave for Ohio tomorrow to meet my grandparents. I have a lot of explaining to do”, I say tiredly.

“Hey, what did I do? You always do this to me”, Josh huffs but we ignore him as usual.

“We understand Tenny, but why don’t we go together? I mean none of us has ever been to the state, and you can enjoy some company, right?”, Kelly asks.

“Wait, are you going to be grilled by your grandparents? If yes, then I’m definitely coming, even if you’re not willing to take me. I have my own vehicle”, Josh butts in smugly.

This invalid literally gets on my nerves.

“But Kelly, what about our clubbing plan? Would you guys really miss the opportunity to have fun?”, I ask doubtfully. I would like them to go about their initial plan, but I would definitely love me some company.

“Tenysi, we can reconsider our clubbing plan some other time. But let’s go visit your grandparents tomorrow”, says Cynthia.

“I love you guys. I really appreciate the gesture, but I will get ready on one condition”, I say.

“What?”

“Josh will not be joining us”, I say pressing my lips to hide my smile. All four of them answer in affirmative right away.

“Hey! Why is it always me? Ya’ll think any of you have a say in this. Hell No! I’m coming and that’s final. I don’t even care if Tenysi goes or not, but I’m going to Ohio tomorrow. Ohio, here I comeeee...”, he screams.

Mike says something which leaves us all in splits except Josh. “But Josh, you don’t even have the address”.