Love Arranged

Chapter 8

I woke up all fresh and happy. All my exams were done and now I was just left with a few more exams to go which were all entrance exams that I had to write to get through the college admissions. My final test was yet to come as I had to disclose my greatest desire and dream to my family and my bestest friend. I sighed thinking about the big revelation. I don’t know how to break the news. Agrh!!! I hate myself right now. I don’t know what to do anymore right now. Okay, Pihu! You need to stop overthinking for once and get on with the day as any other regular day. Yes! That’s what I am going to do right now.

Sam has gone back to his house after camping at my place for a month. We call each other’s houses second homes. So, it's pretty much his place too technically. He will come back over the weekend as he told me the other day when we all went out and had some fun. It was an amazing weekend, where we danced all night and had a lot of karaoke fun. Ate lots of delicious food and people who could drink actually got drunk like crazy people. Well, I am not 18 yet but I got to taste my first ever alcohol with them and they let me start the basic way as they said it to me with shots. It was okay, not so great. I guess it's not for me. I guess I will get the opportunity to find my poison for sure someday.

I was still lazing on the bed when my sister peeped into my room. “So, are you up?” asked my sister

“Yea di, I am up… come sit”

“All done with your exams now… what have you planned for your vacations?”

“Actually, I am still not done with my exams yet. I still have my entrance exams to write if you remember?”

“Yes, I do remember that. But they aren’t counted as one sweety.”

“I haven’t really planned anything di, there are lots to do with regards to college and I have something in my head that I need to talk to you about” should I just tell di about my plans. Maybe I will be able to gauge their reactions better if I start with di, she has always been the greatest support system for me and I know for sure that even now she will be more than happy to help me out and support me in achieving my dreams for sure.

She snapped her fingers to get me back to reality” Pihu where are you lost? Tell me what is it? You know you can talk to me about anything right?”

I know she is worried about me and I don’t want her to worry anymore I guess I should just tell her now. “Actually Di, the thing is that I am giving my SAT exam. You know what are SATs for are right? To apply for foreign universities for undergrad programs”  

I carefully spoke to her by looking at her face for any change of expression but, she did not have any change in an expression she was just waiting for me to finish. When I paused for her reaction. She just nodded her head in acknowledgment asking me to continue. So, I continued.

“You know how I always wanted to do my digital designing, graphic designing. I am so very crazy about it. There are some best colleges in USA for the same and the exposure is amazing. I did my research and they needed SAT score and IELTS to be able to apply for those colleges. I was scared to tell you all about this plan of mine. I am sorry if I hurt you. It’s not that I want to go away. It's just that they are the best in what they are offering. I know India also has the best exposure is not very large at present. It’s not like I will be gone and never come back. I will come back once I get what I am going there for.” I didn't realize I was holding my breath and spoke for so long. I took a moment to look at my sister who for no reason had no expression on her face. Her eyes were blank as if she was very far away in her thoughts I dint know how to react or if I have hurt her right now. s**t! s**t! s**t! I should have never said it all.

The next moment what happened I didn't expect it all. She pulled me in for a tight hug and said “I am so proud of you Pihu. I didn't realize you grew up into a fine lady so soon. I am not upset and I am not angry.” She pulled out of the hug and looked me into my eyes and said “I know you must be apprehensive about how everyone is going to react and all…. But that’s not for you to worry I will take care of dad and your Akshay Pa. I cannot guarantee Sameer’s reaction because you both have never been apart since you were babies, so you will have to tell him sooner and I know he will come around too. But, Sweety I am soooo happy for you. You have made the right decision for yourself. It's your life honey and you need to live it as you like and wish. That’s what mom would have wanted too for you”

I am sure my sister had tears in her eyes and I was soo happy that she was happy about my decision and like always she was all geared up to support and fight for me. Yes, like she said Sam would be a bit difficult to handle as we have never been apart. He dropped the opportunity to go abroad just because he didn’t want to part from me. But now I am leaning on this opportunity. Am I betraying our friendship? I don’t know what to do anymore. I will talk to him over the weekend for sure.

After talking to my sister, I feel like, the weight is off my chest and I feel so light and confident now. I just want the same support from Sam and I will be on top of the world. My sister snapped me out of my thought again “Pihu, get up and get ready. Come have breakfast and we will talk to dad about it and I will talk to Akshay a bit later, okay?”

“Okay di”

I got off the bed quickly and rushed into the bathroom to take bath and get ready for the day. I know while I am taking my time getting ready, my sister is already briefing my dad about my talk with her and preparing him to support my dream. I know she always does that. My dad has also always supported my ideas and dreams. But I was scared now as it was a matter of me moving out of the house all alone and studying in a different country altogether. I was worried if he would agree to that or not.

I was done with my bath and got ready in 45mins and headed to the dining area. I saw my dad and my sister in a very serious conversation that they did not even notice me entering the room. Once I was near the dining table they snapped out of their conversation and my sister looked at me and smiled and I smiled back. When I looked at my dad, he was lost in some thoughts and he looked old suddenly I don’t why. I had this feeling as to something was not right but again, he did not make me ponder on my thoughts for long. He cleared his throat which made me look at him and wonder what he has to say. And then he said it “Pihu, your sister told me about your dream and aspiration. Honey, why did you not tell me this all by yourself? It’s not that I am angry or upset, it’s just that I would have felt happier about your decision if you would have told it to me by yourself.”

“Sorry, Pops. I was scared about your reaction” and I looked down fidgeting with my fingers.

I guess he understood I was guilty and worried. He got up from his chair and pulled me into a hug and I just melted in his embrace. Pops have always been this way. He always treated me like his spoilt little princess. And he said kissing my hair “I am proud of you princess, your mom would have been prouder of you. You are following your dream just like how she followed hers.”

He then pulled out and sat back on his chair and I sat in my chair and we all enjoyed the rest of the breakfast in peace and all smiles. I could see my Pops all beaming with joy and the proud moment in his eyes. And I am sure I am never gonna let him down ever.

After breakfast, I was just chilling to watch some Korean series on Netflix. My sister’s kind of become crazy for these Korean actors and series and now she hooked me up as well. Everyone was at work and I was chilling at home.

 I did not realize when I dozed off while watching the series on the sofa. I was woken up because of some constant noises and sounds coming from the dining hall. I woke up rubbing my eyes to see that everyone was home and the TV was switched off and it was already 7 PM. I got off the sofa and walked towards the room from where all these noises were coming from.

The moment I entered the dining hall, Akshay pa shouted “SURPRISE” I was shocked to see the dining room is completely decorated and the table was filled with delicious food. All my favorites. “I did not believe it Pihu, when Rachel told me that you decided to do your education in the USA. I mean I wouldn’t deny that I was not really happy hearing that as I was worried about your safety and security but then Rachel made me see your point of view. And I cannot imagine how proud I am of you. You have grown up into a fine woman and are very capable to make your own decision. But remember no matter where you are, if you have any problem or issue you will give me a call and I will be there. Okay?”

“Thank you Akshay pa, I am just so happy that all of you are supporting my dream so well. I will surely call you no matter what” and I hugged him after that.

“But remember one thing Pihu, no drinking till you are 21 years older over there. Okay?”

“Ahem…. Okay.” Little did he know that I already had my first taste of alcohol over the weekend and I just giggled at that thought.

The evening went in us all ravishing the meal and talking nonstop.

The next few days went away with me preparing for my exams and me waiting for the weekend and planning to tell Sam about the USA plan. I was very glittery as it was already Friday today and Sam said he would be coming home directly from college as he wanted to spend some time with me. I was so nervous.

It was already 5 PM and he would come home any moment now. My sister could sense my nervousness and she assured me saying everything going to be fine. I was pacing in the hall waiting for Sam to come. And there as I was thinking about it, the door opened revealing his handsome tired face. Did I ever tell this that my best friend is so very handsome, that most of the time my only job was to protect him from irritating girls? Anyways now coming back to the current situation.

“Hey….” I looked at him with a small smile.  

“Hey” he smiled back at me

“How was college?”

“Umm…. Good. why do you ask suddenly?” he looked at me very suspiciously.

“Simply…” I shrugged my shoulder and walked into my room. I could feel he was not satisfied by my answer. But I was soo very nervous I did not know what else to say or do. So, I just walked into my room. After a while, Sam came into my room with two mugs of coffee. He looked fresh. Looks like he freshened up and made coffee for us both.

I looked at him and took the coffee mug from his hand and took a sip. God, I must tell you, he makes one hell of a coffee. Umm… I moaned after one sip and then he just laughed at my reaction like always. I took this opportunity and spoke.

“Sam…”

“Hmmm…” he looked at me with raised eyebrows

“I have something to tell you”

“What?”

“I am giving my SATs” after saying this I looked at him for a reaction

“WHAT? WHY?” his eyes were wide with realization about what I just told him

“You know how much I love digital designing and the USA has some of the best colleges in place and the exposure is also tremendous” I kept looking at him. Now he just kept his coffee mug away and he looked very as if multiple emotions were being played and I couldn’t quite pinpoint anyone in particular.

“I know… but you have colleges ever here Pihu…. You know we have never stayed apart from each other and this was the main reason why I didn't move out of the city Pihu” he said a bit louder than necessary. I could see he is getting angry and upset all at the same time,

“There are colleges I am not denying it but the experience and exposure are not as good as USA Sam. I know we have never stayed apart but this time I want to do it as it's my dream, Sam. Please understand.” I looked at him with pleading eyes.

“I am not asking for much. I am just asking you to support me, Sam, please. You are the most important person in my life and you know that very well. I cannot live with the thought of betraying you at any point in time. I just want you to support me please.” I looked at him and then started fidgeting with my fingers. He was just looking at me blankly with no expressions at all.

“Pihu… I just don’t know what to say or react to right now. It's just too much for me to take in right now. I came today so that we could talk and have some chill time. But the bomb that you dropped on me, changed everything. I just cannot make peace with it right now and you just cannot expect to react very happy knowing that you will be leaving in a few months…. miles away from me” his voice became very low towards the end

“I am sorry Sam, I didn't mean to hide this from you for so long. But I was scared about your reaction. And I am scared I will lose you. I don’t want to lose my best friend Sam.”

“I need to leave Pihu, I can’t take it. I just can’t”

“Please don’t leave Sam, please”

“I guess it's better, we take some time and think. Because if I stay a minute longer, I will lose my mind and I might say things which we might regret later so I should leave right now.”

And right after that, he didn't even wait for me to answer back and he just left. I sat there staring at the empty space where Sam was sitting a while ago and playing all the conversation again and again in my head if I could have said something different and he would have accepted it. I dint know when but I felt like my heart my stabbed and I couldn’t take the pain of him leaving me like that and walking away from me as if I didn't matter to him. I was hurt and I couldn’t take it. I cried myself to sleep.