Dark Lines

Confessions from the Past

19/February/2021

Hello Peter,

How are you Peter?, I know that I’m being annoying or gloomy, I’m sorry for that, but I can’t find anyone else but you to talk to, maybe because I feel like I’m expressing my feelings and thoughts without judgements, or comments. I can hope that you might be more positive than me, you may understand and make me feel better, if you ever replied or if we ever met. I feel so tired, my dad just snapped at me today, he said I was disobeying him by going with my friends to the mall, and spending two hours there, there were some male friends too, but they were polite, we didn’t do something wrong I swear, I came back home at 4:00 p.m., it’s then when my dad welcomed me with a harsh tone, mean words, and insults. He said that he don’t trust me, that I may get carried away with those hangouts, I burnt my hand with the fire of the chimney, when my dad was making this scene. It’s nothing, don’t worry, it’s been hours since then, I feel calmer now.

-ENAJ-

Peter was having his lunch when he read this letter, the bandage on his ear was surely annoying, but taking it off will be worse, and so hurtful. He stopped eating for a couple of minutes just to focus on the letter, and hear the words clearly in his mind, when he finished, he let out a long sigh while closing his eyes.

He was so empathetic with Jane, he wanted to go see her, how is she now?, how is her hand?, does she need any physical or mental help?, he was worried about her, he felt as if his little sister was lost, he didn’t knew what could happen to her, every second she might be in a new stage of depression, will she think of committing suicide?

Peter couldn’t believe that there is still parents that are ignorant and irresponsible like that, on top of it all they want to suppress their kids, and destroy their personality, who do they think they are.

He put that letter away with the rest, then took some ice cream from the freezer, the weather was warm enough to be eating ice cream, it has a magical taste, that completely changes and lightens up the mood, or at least Peter’s mood.

He put food for Crystal too, then after two hours, he brought the ball to start playing with her, she deserves some attention and fun.

*****************

There is a message sent to Peter, it was his friend, they talked a bit, it turned out that his friend is feeling a little depressed, Peter started letting it all out, while sipping his coffee, he started expressing his thoughts and emotions to his friend, because he felt that if he didn’t do so, he would go mad, still they had to change the subject, and get out of that negative bubble, and started talking about the good things in their life, about their friends, their memories and what they will do in the near and far future.

Then he had his breakfast at 10:17 a.m., yogurt with eggs and tomatoes, and he opened the laptop, checked the emails, then opened the photos, there were pictures of him and his friends, the good old times, memories filled with sincerity, spontaneity and happiness. There was that time when they went to the beach, wearing accidentally the same color of shorts, and one of them was nearly drowning, before they notice him and save him.

That time were they went to the cinema, they wore some fancy clothes and bought popcorn with some unique flavors, then whispered comments to themselves while watching the movie, and laughing and expressing their frighten and shock in loud sounds without giving a penny of the fact that they were in a cinema, because there were only them and a couple, yet the staff came and told them nicely to shut up.

Also the time were they went to a restaurant with nice clothing, catching the eyes of girls passing by, and walking a long distance just because their friend was angry of them, so he made them take the long way without them knowing, then they started acting childish in the restaurant and commenting on the waitresses there, which one likes which of them, and some of the waitresses were interested.

The times that they used to act silly in school, and there adventures at college, then the last favorite one was when they went to the city, and walked by the stores there, then walked pass a cemetery and a new building that looks like it will be a mall or something because it was huge, it’s lower part was visible without any brick around it, so might be meaning to make it a parking area, there his friend told him that he had heard a weird sound, then their other friend acted like a courage and fearful man and stopped to try to hear it again or see from where it’s coming, there were no one in the constructions there, then he came closer to take a look on the parking area or whatever it is, although it was far down, that if he fall, he may die actually but he wanted to be brave, took a quick look, then they left.

Peter was moving the pictures and admiring them one by one, then he noticed that his face is darker than the other faces, just his face, nothing was different with the rest of his body, it was like a thumb print on his face, but it was a random suggestion and silly too, it must be something with the camera.

Crystal was walking in circles around Peter, so he knew that she must be hungry, he carried her and headed towards the kitchen, he grabbed the bottle of milk, it was empty, so he ordered two online and some other types of food, that were missing from the fridge, till they arrive he put some cat cookies for her, then he boiled some pasta and prepared the sauce.

In the afternoon, he grabbed his book that he is half through now, along with an armchair and sat on the balcony, he wore his glasses, and started reading while sipping his tea, Crystal jumped onto his legs and decided to take a nap.

After two hours, he reached now the page hundred, so he came inside, and turned on the music, snatched some fruits and made a milkshake, then sat with a blanket, and a laptop opened with the next episode ready to be played, and the television also on, just for an extra cozy atmosphere.

Having had his dinner, two hours later he finished the series at last, it was really cool one, with convincing acting and looks, as well as the characters, they were smart yet funny, all in all it puts you in familiar situations, while feeling the coziness, care and awareness that they have displayed.

******************* 21/February/2021

Hello Peter,

All is fine now, I feel better, I can make some fantasies to get my mind off my surroundings sometimes. I was looking at our pictures back at school, I really miss these days, I remember that one year, I had a tiny crush on you, a little one, well maybe not so little, but I used to smile as long as I’m looking at you, even when you don’t notice me, I was always nearby, looking at you and admiring your details, your way of speaking, your laugh, the way you look at me. I know that you didn’t have feelings for me because after a couple of months, you started talking regularly to the new girl, you looked like you were interested in each other, so I didn’t get my hopes high, I kept my feelings to myself, but don’t worry we were children back then, it was so silly, I have completely got over it, I consider you a really good friend Peter.

-ENAJ-

While opening it with concentration, Peter wondered why she takes time between every letter, but he doesn’t have the right to wonder, at least she is writing with nothing in return. He didn’t start reading until he made himself a cup of coffee, and made sure that Crystal is having her breakfast.

He was glad when he read the first sentence of that letter, a big burden is off his shoulders now, then he lowered his gaze as he reads the lines below it, and raised an eyebrow when he read that she was crushing on him, he thought it was cute, but they were children, and he wouldn’t know the signals that appears when a girl likes him, plus that new girl that he was talking to was their neighbor’s child, they played together near their houses all the time with their third friend Timmy, for that he talked to her a lot at school, not because he liked her, he was oblivious of these things, and wasn’t ready to give someone attention, time and efforts, which then meant maybe buying her a chocolate bar with a bear, but even this Peter wasn’t tending to do, because he only cared about football, and fake fighting with his male friends.

Jane was cute, Peter thought but she wouldn’t match him, she was so shy, and he was kind if shy too, so if they meet up, who would start talking, probably there will be a spokesperson with them. Also, Jane was considered only a friend for Peter, or even a little sister, even if she was the most beautiful girl then, he can’t force himself to like her as more than a friend, so he was glad that she didn’t confess her crush to him, to avoid any awkward situation, or probable heartbreaking by him, that would have destroyed there friendship.

Peter took a shower, went to the kitchen, opened the fridge to see what he shall have for lunch, but a stinky smell was undeniably there, so he checked the food on the shelves and those in the freezer, but all were fine, he also scanned the expiration date of the canes and the bottles, nothing was wrong, it must be from the fridge, because when he closed it, the smell was bearable.

He first sprayed the kitchen with an air freshener, but he didn’t spray near the fridge, then after a while he opened the fridge for sometime, to make sure that the aroma of the freshener wouldn’t get inside of it, then by opening it, the smell should get out of it, allowing it to be aired or something.

He sat on the couch at 5:03 p.m., after having lunch, and rested his feet on the table, while going through some important documents for his work, that will even have him promoted, or kicked out.

Crystal was silently watching an animal program, then hopped on the couch beside Peter, and kept looking at his hands that were typing and at the screen of the laptop, what is she doing?, Peter thought, is she analyzing what it’s happening?, why I’m doing that with my fingers?, or does she already know, just curious of what I’m exactly doing for work?, either way he found it cute.

Peter made a chocolate cake, that he checked it’s recipe from google, he was amused that he could accomplish such delicate thing, he wondered if by the end of this lockdown, he will be a chef or not even close. He enjoyed it with a cup of tea, after seeing some people doing this on television, but it was surprisingly delicious, he also put a small piece for Crystal, she didn’t lift her head off the plate, till she finished it.

At 11:30 p.m. Peter did the dishes, tidied up the living room, closed the windows and the curtains, locked the doors, and of course checked on the stove, brushed his teeth, and hopped on the bed with Crystal, who was fresh looking after Peter had gave her a bath an hour ago. Peter was reaching the book on his side, when he saw the inhaler, he felt bitter again, but wasn’t ready to put it away yet, so as for moving the chair away from the door, then he hoped for the best, and started reading with his glasses on, before he fell asleep half an hour later.