Everything She's Not

Late Night Phone Calls

G: "You make it to bed okay?"

L: "Yeah."

G: "Ok just checking. Sorry bout earlier."

L: "It's okay"

Lilly is lying in her texts to Gabe. It's not okay, and she was beaten before even making it to bed. Her dad forced her to take off the jacket, and he saw the bruise. He lost his mind, calling Lilly all kinds of names and hitting her. She could tell he was either drunk or high because his words were slurred, and he hit her harder than normal. He's been repeating this cycle of getting high/drunk, beating her, and then asking her to cook dinner and apologizing since her mom left. She keeps it to herself and tries to stay in her room until he's asleep.

Lilly locks her door and lies back on her bed, thinking about the way Gabe's hand felt on her thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on her skin. Her hand slides under her skirt to her panties. She closes her eyes to visualize a scene from her favorite book when her mind wanders back to the moment that Gabe's face was so close he could kiss her. The way he gripped her thigh like it belonged to him.

Her fingers slide inside her; she's pleasuring herself at the thought of this dangerous man. She can't help but find arousal from someone she used to know like the back of her hand, but she barely knows now. Suddenly, her phone goes off.

The vibrations are loud in her silent room. "Y-yes?" She's out of breath and unsatisfied, her fingers still inside and the phone against her ear, propped up with a pillow. Her other hand is gripping the sheet.

"Was your dad mad about the bruise?" Gabe sounds cold, yet concerned.

"No. He didn't see it." She lets out a breath while talking.

"Lilly...what're you doing?" His voice is deep and full of desire.

"Reading." She can't get more out.

"Ah, okay. Enjoy. Good night, Lilly." He groans when he says her name, causing her to be close to a climax. Her breath audibly hitches.

"Don't...go...yet." She gathers herself. "Tell me about your business."

"Whatcha wanna know?"

"The bullet scar on your left shoulder. Is that from someone dangerous?" She's breathing while talking. Her breathing is heavy, uneven.

"Yes, Lilly." Gabe pauses to listen to her breathing. "I beat him up, and he didn't like that. So, he caught me off guard and shot me. I got even." Lilly's back arches at the danger dripping from his voice.

"H-how?" She asks, about to climax.

"You're close, aren't you?" Gabe asks with a bit of a growl deep in his throat.

"Mm-hmm," Lilly whines with her response.

"Okay, Lilly...I'll tell you."

"Please." The way she begs causes something to stir inside him, deep in his stomach.

"I pressed cold, hard, metal to his head and gave him a matching scar." He listens for her climax.

"Fuck..." Her voice is strained, and she moans quietly when she orgasms.

"Good girl."

Lilly breathes like she's just run a 5k and sticks her fingers in her mouth, sucking off the juices. She doesn't care how loudly she sucks it off because it's sweet and delicious.

"How do you taste?" He asks, his voice strained.

"Mm, deliciously sweet."

"That's good, suck all of it off, okay?"

"Okay."

Her haze fades quickly when she realizes it's kinda crazy and messed up to finger yourself while on the phone with the guy you just started tutoring, even if you two were friends a long time ago.

It's even crazier to have an orgasm when he says he's shot someone. She immediately blushes in embarrassment.

"Sorry." She chokes out the word like poison.

"Don't be sorry, I enjoyed it too. See you tomorrow, Good girl?"

"Yeah. My car's still messed up, though. My dad hasn't fixed it."

"That's okay, I can give you a ride to and from school. Goodnight."

"Thank you. Goodnight."

She tries to sleep, but it's hard when she keeps thinking of his voice when he calls her a good girl. She's 18, and she's never been touched by anyone who truly cared for her or had a boyfriend, but this guy makes her want to be touched all over. Lilly's phone reads 1 am as the time when she finally squeezes her eyes closed and forces herself to sleep.

It's 6 am the next day and Gabe hops in the shower, replaying the sexy phone call from the night before over in his mind. He can still hear the moan she let out and the way she begged him to talk about the terrible s**t he'd done.

"The sound of her sucking her fingers..." He mumbles to himself. "...that was so sexy."

When he arrives at her house, she's waiting outside in the early October heat, wearing long sleeves and skin-tight jeans. She smiles sweetly when she gets into his car, acting like she wasn't being freaky on the phone last night. Lilly sets a copy of Pride and Prejudice in his backseat. She shifts in her seat under the silence, and he turns on the radio.

Gabe can't help but examine her face. "Something doesn't look right," He says in his mind. She's wearing a lot more makeup than she was the day before.

"You okay?" He asks, turning down the radio.

"Yeah, why?" Lilly responds, gulping water from a clearly reused plastic Life Water bottle.

"If you're referring to last night, I'm perfect. I appreciate you being so understanding. Honestly, I wasn't thinking of you at first. I was trying to visualize something from a smut book, and your face being next to mine with whiskey in your hand, kinda invaded my imagination. Then, it changed to your hand on my thigh. Of course, you called, and I already had you on my mind and my fingers inside me, so I ran with it." Gabe raises an eyebrow at her ability to talk so quickly without breathing.

Lilly inhales deeply, trying to calm herself and lower her pulse. She awaits a response from Gabe, feeling like she's been waiting forever. He parks in the student parking lot and turns in his seat.

"Lilly...I'm used to being wanted. I've been with many women. What really surprised me was your attraction to the dark s**t I do. That was sexier than anything else. If you don't wanna do anything other than tutor me when you're at my house, that's fine. But, if we have a phone call like that again, I can't guarantee I'll be able to control myself in person." He watches her wring her hands anxiously.

"Ok" Her voice is timid with disappointment coating it.

"I was asking if you're okay in general. You're wearing a lot of makeup today." He reaches out and wipes some of the foundation off her cheekbone with his thumb. "You're attractive without it." Upon closer inspection, he sees what looks like it might be a bruise.

"Thanks. But, I'm okay. We're gonna be late." Lilly climbs out of the car feeling like her heart has dropped to her toes. She has a newfound disappointment that isn't completely justified.

Gabe and Lilly part ways, except for the few classes they have together. At lunch, she spots him making out with Darcie, the most popular senior girl in school. He glances at Lilly when he feels her staring his way.

"Ew, the fat cow is watching us," Darcie exclaims to Gabe.

He continues making out with her while keeping eye contact with Lilly. Eventually, Lilly gets tired of watching them and throws her food away, exiting the cafeteria. She doesn't say another word to him until halfway to his house. He didn't have errands today and had only gotten a call about his $200 from the man who owed him. He keeps looking over at her, just to see a cold, detached expression. Gabe pulls over, parking by the side of the road in front of an abandoned church.

"Alright, what's up?" He asks, turning towards Lilly.

"Nothing, let's go. We're only a minute or two from your house," Lilly sighs and continues looking out the window.

"Bullshit." He turns back to the road and reaches for the key.

"Fine. Don't you think it's gross to make out with someone who's been with every guy in the whole school? I've never been with anyone; meanwhile, she's had s*x like 200 times. And, you felt the need to keep eye contact with me while you swapped saliva with her. I know, I have no logical right to be jealous, but I'm not. I'm envious."

"You wanna be a hoe? I'm confused." Gabe inches closer to her.

"No. I wanna be wanted, dammit. You can't honestly say you wanted me last night. Even if you don't feel anything for me emotionally, did you want me last night?" Lilly asks him, desperate for some kind of desire to come from him.

Gabe grabs her throat and squeezes lightly. A small gasp escapes, and she leans her head back as far as she's able to. "Look at me." His tone is commanding.

"I wanted to drive over there and help you. I want to rip your clothes off and f**k you right here. I can't stop thinking of the way you came to the sound of my voice. You came to me admitting to shooting a man. f**k, I've never met anyone who'd f**k me while I describe how I've hurt another person." He squeezes a little harder, pressing his thumb against her bottom lip. "Now, quit." He jerks away, leaving Lilly wanting more.