Flashfiction Collections

Mr. Proofreader

She was furiously slicing her steak then started eating like she haven't had any edible food for the last few years of her life, and I am watching her with contentment, wondering why I love this mad lady.

"Boyfriend, you'd be more productive if you'll read the manuscript I gave you instead of leering at me like that," she mouthed in the middle of her bites, I chuckled.

"Your tee demands me to," I reasoned pertaining to her shirt with 'I'm bad at poem, Kiss Me' print.

"Don't you think the level of your perverted little ass have reached past our sacred apartment?"

"Well, it actually depends on how you effortlessly seduce me on purpose."

"Great, it's my fault—again. What did I ever do to you?" she acted.

"You've bewitched me."

"Trust me, Frank, if you're going to say another word, I'll stab my boobs with this knife I'm holding."

And I don't want that so I pick the white folder on the table then start to read the manuscript. The title of the story, Elise, actually bored me, no author's name. I silently prayed this is not another girly story from one of her friends, because I'm already totally having problems reading my girlfriend, literally. I started scanning through the synopsis. The first two paragraphs made me feel lazy, the third one caught my interest and the fourth made me stop and slam the folder shut.

"Do you know the author of this manuscript? Because she should be skinned alive. This is morbid. Human sacrifice for the sake of fame is not even worth one million copies," I commented. She's now silently sipping her smoothie...and glaring at me.

"I still have the knife on my plate; do you really want to continue on mocking the author?"

"Baby, the author is not even worth stabbing your boobs."

"What made you decide I'm going to stab my boobs this time? I'm actually planning to castrate you in public, y'know, by accident, on purpose." I chuckled as I look around. Good thing the table beside us is empty.

"Using the steak knife? C'mon, you can do better than that."

"Well, I can do it with my teeth but I refuse to give you the satisfaction." If she hadn't had an indie film actress background, I'd be convinced she's serious.

"Read," she demanded.

"Oh, Jesus! I have the most psychotic girlfriend alive! I'll continue reading this when we get home, in our room, where you don't have any weapon but your teeth." I smirked. She rolled her eyes.

"Fine, but I'm not happy," she answered in surrender.

"I can make you happy without reading this manuscript, so, should we begin the journey to our humble abode? Because I seriously want to peel that shirt off of you," I teased.

She flushed, her eyes declared love and lust, an indication that tonight I own her. This has been a long day after all.

• • •

The warm ray of sun woke my nerves up. My girlfriend's smooth breathing is the second thing that turns me on, of course next to the fact that she's tangled on me, naked, and the fact that we've been burning each other up with our blinds open made me chuckle. I can't possibly wait to see her reaction if she finds out about this.

The ringing of my phone washed my beautiful morning thoughts away.

"Jane, it's like, nine in the morning and it's Sunday. Who calls to wake someone up during Sunday?" I muttered in disgust. My girlfriend's best friend plays the greatest villain of all.

"I do. Listen, you moron. You can't call my best friend's piece 'Morbid' okay? That's not what a responsible boyfriend is supposed to say. You are meant to proofread that story, not to mock the s**t out of it. She has spent some days to research about that plot and you're ditching it without even trying to read the whole synopsis? Where is the justice in that? God! I wish I could slit your throat right now."

Feeling my body froze, I move to kiss my girlfriend's broad shoulder. The manuscript is hers. That's why the author's name was not stated. I am such an i***t. I smile. She's going to write again! No, she started writing again! It has been a while since she decided to 'put the writing thing to rest.' I turned to Jane who's still preaching my ass off.

"I've never heard a person talk so fast until I met you," I answered feeling all giddy.

"f**k you."

"Thanks, Jane. Do you think a wedding proposal on her book launching would be a great idea?" I heard her squealed on the other line as I end the call.

End.