WHEN HE LOOKED AT ME

CHAPTER 9

Ethan and I had become experts at pretending we didn’t know each other while at school. In the hallways, we walked past one another like strangers. In class, if he sat with Henry, he kept a straight face, eyes on the board, jaw set, expression unreadable.

But outside school, it was different. Ethan and I had been chatting and calling for weeks now late nights, soft moments, quiet talks that stretched until sleep blurred our voices. Maybe that was why pretending we were strangers in the hallways hurt more than I wanted to admit. And somehow… that silence felt louder than words, sharper, like a weight pressing in my chest.

The only thing that connected us was Collin. Every few days he’d stroll into my classroom with that casual confidence of his curl bouncing over his forehead, backpack hanging from one shoulder, and say something like:

“Ethan says hi.”

Or,

“He said make sure you ate and said I should give you this gift.”

Or the one that messed with my head the most:

“He wants to know if you’re doing okay.”

He always said it with this little smile too, like he knew more than he was supposed to, a kind of knowing that made my stomach twist in ways I didn’t expect.

I didn't think too much of it… until the follow request. I was scrolling through i********: after school, half-asleep, when a notification popped up:

collin.dre started following you.

I stared at it, confused. We barely talked except when he acted as Ethan’s messenger. But something made me accept it, a mix of curiosity and an inexplicable pull. Not even a whole minute passed before another notification buzzed in.

Collin: hi :)

Just that. Small. Friendly. Too simple to be suspicious… or maybe exactly the kind of simple that was.

I typed back a quick hey, expecting the conversation to die off instantly. It didn’t.

He replied almost immediately, asking about the classes we had today. Then about my favorite shows. Then about music. Then:

Collin: So… you and Ethan know each other well?

My heart tripped a little.

I told him the safest version of the truth: Not really.

He sent a typing bubble. Then stopped. Then typed again.

Collin: He thinks you’re cool, you know.

I didn’t know what to say to that. So I said nothing.

But he kept talking. Not about Ethan this time. About himself. His photography. His college plans. The way he sometimes came to the lake to clear his head. The little quirks he noticed in life, how he loved quiet spaces and books that smelled of rain, how he noticed things people usually missed.

And slowly… without meaning to… I found myself opening up too. Nothing deep. Just little things. Questions. Jokes. Thoughts I didn’t usually share. And it felt easy. Too easy.

By the time I realized how long we’d been chatting, my phone battery was at 4%, and my chest felt weirdly warm, a mix of nerves and something I couldn’t name.

I wasn’t sure what any of this meant. I wasn’t even sure I wanted it to mean something.

But one thing was impossible to ignore: Trying to get closer to Ethan through Collin… was starting to feel a lot like getting closer to Collin instead.