Blood's Desire (Book 1 of Blood Ties Novels)

Brother's Needs

I stopped at the nearest ‘clean-looking’ gas station. I had high hopes, knowing no real gas station had the coffee I craved. As I walked in, I felt multiple sets of eyes watching me. I went straight to the coffee counter, a generic laminate bar with coffee rings permanently stained on the entire top and multiple sticky spots where people had missed their cups with the sugar. As always, black or decaf.  I stared at the two pots as if I had a choice in the matter. I wasn’t going after the weaker version of the same bitter taste. I needed caffeine. When I turned away with a large Styrofoam cup filled to the brim with black coffee doctored with at least a third of cream and three tablespoons of sugar, I saw three men in the store, one trying not to stare, but the other two overtly gawking at me, never wavering, even when I caught them. At the register, the attendant, an old, country man, looked me up and down like a piece of well-marbled meat. I blushed involuntarily. I knew he probably didn’t get many women on a regular basis, let alone a woman dressed in a suit tailored to her, accentuating her feminine form, yet leaving her look powerful. I must have been a spectacle for him. He gave me a toothless grin and winked at me, sending a chill down my spine.

“Howdy ma’am. WhatcanIdoyafer?” He mumbled, slurring all of his words together.

“Just this coffee, thanks.” I tried not to look at him or the other two. I’d found men such as these only needed a little suggestive movement to make them think that I was interested in talking.

“Are ya sure? I’m sure I can help ya find somethin’ if ya need…”

I cut him off with an icy stare. “No. The coffee only.” I handed him a five and headed out the door. The way he looked at me made me feel grimy and in need of a hot shower. As I basically ran out the sliding doors, the politest of the three stood and headed for the door as the other just stared after me. The old man behind the registered yelled at the younger man following me.

“Give this to’er.” The young man grabbed something and ran out.

He chased me to my car. “Ma’am, ya forgotcha change.”

I was already locked up in my car with the engine on. I rolled the passenger window down an inch or two. “Keep it.” I threw my car into reverse and left as quickly as possible.

My heart was racing as I put as much distance between myself and the gas station as I possibly could, and this made me feel absolutely ridiculous. They weren’t after you. Get a grip. I slowed down to a normal speed and reminded myself over and over that I could stop at a gas station alone and not be a victim. Thoroughly on my way again with my unsatisfying ‘cup-o-Joe’ and a calm demeanor, I began entertaining thoughts of how I might introduce myself and interact the first day on the job. Should I be firm and strict? Would I try to get the low down on everyone up front so I would know what to expect? I hated these situations with a loathing I could feel in my bones. Some people would call my personality shy; I lovingly refer to it as reserved and cautious. 

Would anyone like me? I was amused by my own interruption of thought. However, the thought didn’t escape me that everyone at the DA’s office would hate me before I got there. I did bump someone they knew out of the running for the position. No, you can’t think of that right now. As a diversion to offensive thoughts, I finally turned on the radio. I hit scan, but the radio just picked up static. I’m in the middle of nowhere! I popped in the first CD in my visor case. Low, slow music started, but the crescendo led into a boom that rattled my windows. I didn’t realize I pulled my Classical Composers CD out of its case before I left. Yea! The lows and highs of the octaves of each individual instrument caused me to leave the horrifying thought of not being accepted behind me. I focused on the tempos and slight changes in key. I was focused. I was in my element. I found the center that I was looking for when my mother called.

Though the music was beautiful, time and distance were not going by fast enough. After five hours, I was ready for my ten-hour trip to be over. I stopped at the nearest rest area to get out and stretch. I really didn’t want to do that, but I knew if I didn’t, I would feel it the next day. I walked around and bought a soda and some snacks from the vending machines. As I walked around, I realized Andy hadn’t called me back. I wonder if he just said it out of habit. 

As if through ESP, my cell phone rang again. This time the ring blared an electric guitar before the lyrics of his favorite song, Princes of the Universe, came spewing out.

Without so much as a hello, I began my rant. “What is so private you can’t talk about it in front of everyone?” It had been years since he had evoked our code word. Most of the time, he called me Sis or Ands. The realization of how frustrated I had become when he hadn’t called me back immediately tolled like “Big Ben” on a rainy day.

“Well, umm, I was, umm, thinking that, umm, well…” he murmured through the first part of his thoughts. Probably hoping I would figure it out, as I did most of the time. This time, I had no clue, but it did sound a lot like a previous conversation.

“Are you ok?” After the question left my mouth, it dawned on me. I became hysterical waiting for him to make a complete sentence, feeling the blood rush from my head and the wave of panic tumble through my stomach. I had to sit on the edge of my car’s hood and put my head between my legs to keep from vomiting. The last time he was like this was when he told me mom had breast cancer. “Is anyone sick?” I finally blurted when he couldn’t get a coherent statement out.

“Everyone’s fine. It’s me. I was just wondering,” he took a deep breath, “if you would like some company in Savannah for a while?” He finally uttered what he was trying to say.

I was shocked at the turn of events. His question totally took me off guard. I would have never expected him to ask to come and stay with me. I sat up a little and looked off into space as if I could assess his face from the rest area in Alabama. “Why?” I asked cautiously. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I never did when he caught me off guard.

“I need to get out of Arkansas for a while. She’s suffocating me. She lingers everywhere now.” He took a deep, loud breath at the end to punctuate his decision.

“Mom?!” That was an outrageous statement. Mom didn’t hover, she worried from a distance.

“Of course not, Ands. It's Micah.” He didn’t speak for a long while, like he was trying to figure out how to tell me exactly what he needed.

Impatiently I inferred that he needed a break from his long time girlfriend and was running as far away as monetarily possible. “What are you two fighting about now?” I can’t believe he is putting me in between them again. 

“We’re not fighting,” then there was a long pause. “We’re over.”

I heard a sniffle on the other end of the line. My brother was crying, or at least what I assumed was crying. I don’t think I’d actually seen him cry since the third grade, when I beat him at the sack race in front of his friends. That callous witch has broken my brother’s heart. Of course I’m going to let him stay with me. She must still be living in their apartment. Oh, she better be glad I’m not within range to beat her. The things I would do to her…EWW!

“Yes, Andy, you can stay with me for a while. If you want, I can try to find you a job before you get here.” I tried to wrangle in all of my outrage for the evil scum who hurt my brother. I hoped I was saying what he needed to hear, and he couldn’t hear the venom for Micah behind my words.

He sighed with relief. “Are you sure I won’t impose on you at all? I just need some time to clear my head. She’s gone for good this time,” there was another sniffle. “When can I come out?”

“Whenever you feel like coming. I’ll be in my house by tomorrow evening. It’s somewhat furnished, so you won’t have to help me unpack.” I gave him a little giggle, trying to coax the sound of a half smile out of his voice. All I got was a ‘humph.’ “When should I expect you?” I asked as I got back in my car.

“Not tomorrow night, but the next. That’s Wednesday, right?”

When was the last time you looked at a calendar? “No, it’s Friday, but I know what you’re talking about. Do mom and dad know you’re coming this way?” Had mom known about this crushing blow on my twin? Moreover, if she had, why hadn’t she told me? It’s so aggravating not living near home. I am left out of everything.

“Not yet. Mom’s going to want me to stay. I haven’t decided if I’m just going to give her a call when I’m with you, or tell her in person.” It was stupid, but he sounded scared that our mom would not allow him to go, a grown man.

“Even if she doesn’t want you to come, Andy, you’re thirty-five. You can make your own decisions.” Am I the only child that believes in becoming a separate entity from our parents? Can I possibly be the only one immune to our mother’s guilt trips? When did I surpass everyone?

“Sure, sure. It’s just harder to say ‘no’ to her in person.” His sarcastic tone bit at me. I hadn’t been home enough in the last few years to notice any of her ranting and raving. If I had enough of her, I simply didn’t have to answer the phone. 

“Well, good luck with telling our parents. I’ll see you soon.” I waited for his reply. All there was on the other end was sharp in-takes of breath. It sounded like he might be hyperventilating. “Calm down, Andy. You’ll only be gone for a little while. You won’t stay with me indefinitely. I’m sure they will understand, and if they don’t like your reason, then tell them that I called you to me. I needed family support that I could get from no one other than the one person that knows me best.”

He was calming, of course. I knew how to push his buttons. “All right, I’m going to tell them tonight. I’ll see you in two days. I love you, Sis.”

“I know you do. I love you, too.”

We hung up. The conversation was shorter than it had felt. In all, it didn’t take more than ten minutes. I decided to get back on the road. Another five hours. Savannah, here I come.