Fylgja

Fylgja II.

“Yes, you are. You exist as part of the cosmos. You are connected to it via its indescribably substantial number of synapses. You are a complex cell, insignificant, yet pivotal to the chaotic order that fuels and shapes the Universe.” It articulated well, though Frelser had a hard time following, itself feeling this entity’s speech to be circuitous.

“What circumstances? What later date?”

“By circumstance, I allude to space. By date, I refer to time. Both are crucial to your past plane of existence, yet nugatory to other dimensions, whether they be subjectively lesser or greater in importance than yours.”

“What am I doing here?” Frelser would have felt annoyance were it still human. Now, its curiosity overwhelmed it even more.

“That is a question solely you have the answer for.”

“I... I don't know.” Frelser's spirit, despite revealing confusion in its speech, remained as it were upon entering this transitional plane, where spirits both existed and expired; a floating, transparent yet gray mist, with a shape vaguely reminiscent of a human body. “Who are you?”

“Great question. In your world, I have many names. In the North, I am known as fylgja, or fetch. I am your doppelganger and the spirit that accompanies you and watches over you on your journey. I never interfere, and merely interact with you when you reach out to me in desperation. I am you, past, present, and future. I am your family that was, that came before you, your ancestors and forbears without whom you would not subsist. I am your future children and grandchildren and their descendants until your line ceases to exist. I am you.”

“Am I... talking to myself?”

“Yes, and no. I have been with you, tied to you through the synapses of the universe, just as I was tied to your father and your grandfather. This will carry on until it is destined to, only then will I ever return Home.” As it pronounced these words, it glanced back at the gate that separated this plane of existence from what it called 'Home'.

“Are you... good?”

“I am neither Good nor Evil. My fate is merely to accompany your bloodline to fulfill its destiny. My existence depends on you. If you die, and your bloodline is no more, I die in turn.”

“I think I understand. Is that why you stopped me? Is that why I can't go... Home?”

“Yes, and no. Anybody, except fylgjur, can access that plane at any time. The amount of time and the intent behind the journey are what matter. I know that your conscience, and therefore your physical body, have decided to expire. It is my duty to offer you an alternative before you fully commit; before you decide never to go back.”

“What would that be?”

“I am to grant any one of the wishes that would have the power to make you turn around and go back to life.” The entity spoke slowly, its voice getting deeper, making sure Frelser would understand everything it had to say.

“Wishes?”

“Yes. Your conscience's deepest desire. You only get one choice, and this choice will determine the outcome of our exchange. In other words, there indeed are wrong choices in this situation. To do so, I return all your memories and experiences, both those discarded by your brain and those treasured by your heart. Make a choice. Now!” As Frelser's fylgja finished speaking, an intense, overwhelming feeling came over the man. Everything he ever knew, he ever loved or hated, returned to him. Were he not in such an outlandish environment, his brain would have fried in a split second, unable to recover from the neurological damage to his primitive brain.

He remembered everything; his childhood, his volatile teenage years, his graduating from university first receiving a bachelor's degree, then a master's, finally a doctorate to fulfill his parents’ wishes of becoming an academic; his achievements as a young, self-made entrepreneur, his fame and wealth, his beloved parents and brother, his youth itself. Simply everything. How could he ever make a decision? What would he pick? As far as he was concerned, he was not lacking anything back where he came from. He was a polymath, and whatever he touched turned to gold. He experienced love and pleasure, both giving and receiving, yet love was not his life’s goal. He had always found it to be too clichéd, even despite the Greeks and Romans basing a lot of their arts around it. He did not know what his purpose was.

Was it to make more money?

No, money is no longer my main focal point in life. After achieving everything I ever wanted, including amassing huge wealth, money became irrelevant to me. My work in the sciences, in music, and even in the pictures granted me a life of ease, where women and drugs were but a phone call away; where spending a thousand dollars on a shirt made me want to spend even more, often on utterly useless things that granted me joy but for a mere moment. Funnily enough, with all the money I had, happiness seemed to abscond farther away as I tried to reach it. Being consumerism's poster child consumed not only my mind and body but also my soul. Therefore, no, I do not want more money.

Was it to become famous?

I achieved mild fame when I proposed a hypothetical approach to observing five-dimensional space. I became a Nobel laureate, out of nowhere, in 2023. Due to my youth, and my subjective good looks, which I hated talking about for my parents taught me modesty, I gave more interviews, and the media loved me for it. For a reason unbeknownst to me, I had such an effect on people, that they wanted to hear more about me. During one of these events, I told a lady that I played the piano and sang in my free time, and she asked me to sing her something, in front of the camera. I did not feel the need, or a reason to refuse, so I sang her a song from 1961, an all-time favorite of mine. This, of course, ended up on the internet, gathered a large viewership, and brought my first acting role to me. I was the protagonist of a musical comedy that, according to the reviews, brought back the genre from its well-deserved death, all thanks to me. I am not quite sure about that; however, I am certain that I now desire mediocrity and anonymity over fame. I prefer the woods over the city. I favor peace over the constant noise of the throngs of people in these megalopolises scattered around the world. I enjoy solitude.

Was it to gain eternal youth? To be remembered forever?

As I crashed into my late 20s, I realized that achieving immortality, though physically it is currently impossible, is attainable to me. The pictures I played in, and the concerts I gave, offered my young self the unique possibility of being captured by cameras and diffused by movie theaters all around the globe. My youth was preserved eternally on screen, while I achieved immortality through my writings and my scientific achievements. Yet, this did not satisfy my yen for physical longevity. A near-death experience showed me how life was indeed precious, and that instead of working on living forever and yearning for something impossible, I should live life to its fullest, while it lasts. Like everything in this universe, life comes to an end, whether we want it or not. Such is the fate of the living. After accepting this, I decided to welcome death whenever it was my time and to abandon the sole thing that was tormenting me since I gained consciousness.