Fylgja

Fylgja III.

Was it to make sure his family and loved ones would have a great life? That they would be healthy, live a long life, and prosper? No, since he learned at a young age that all things had to come to an end, including happiness, but also sorrow, wealth, as well as poverty, and life, and now it appeared that even death as humans understood it. Moreover, he lost his brother in a car accident a couple of years back, so why should he bother? His parents were relatively old when he was conceived, there was nothing he could do for them. What else was there for him to consider? He went through all the generic choices average people would pick, people that lacked one of the many things he already possessed. Even if he chose universal knowledge, his intelligence far exceeded most others, and he did not feel the need to know everything. He believed in a perfect balance, a chaotic order. He delighted in taking the unnatural path laid out in front of him while being encircled by Mother Nature’s majestic creations. As it turned out, he was thinking the right thoughts, as he glanced at the fylgja staring at him.

He pondered on the subject some more. Meanwhile, the fylgja stood in front of him, steady and immobile as a rock. Frelser did not want to attempt to run past it and go Home. Betraying somebody that was tied not only to him but also to his ancestors and perhaps his descendants in the future, felt wrong.

I have to come up with something. It may look like I have all the time in the world, but I don't think I do.

“The laws of spacetime do not apply here, Frelser. Correction: they do, but are irrelevant.” It appeared the being could read his thoughts, which made sense to him, as it accompanied him from the moment he was born. It knew him better than he knew himself.

“Why don't you tell me what's the most appropriate wish, then?”

“Though I know everything about you, I do not have the right to choose in your stead, nor gift you ideas. Your destiny, though not set in stone, can be altered and shaped by your actions only. A proposal that the universe may either hear and apply or completely rebuff.” After hearing these words, he spent what seemed to him to be hours, maybe even days, considering his options, studying others, then disposing of them all. Though he still was in his spiritual form, he felt the need to sit down and rest. Suddenly, he realized exactly what he wanted the most out of life, out of his existence. He was still unaware of his purpose and reason for living, but he knew he lacked motivation. Motivation to find more work to do, to do more thinking, instead of giving up and wanting to sit down and rest.

Motivation to find something that gives him purpose, whether it be a simple hobby like botany, or studying this new dimension he currently found himself in. He wanted motivation to feel alive once more. Despite recoiling at the thought of starting a family, his close friends, some of whom were parents, expressed that the best thing that happened to them was the birth of their children. Perhaps the motivation, or even his purpose, would stem from a future family. A wife to love, children to adore? After all, many philosophers and thinkers of the past posited that procreation, the selfless act of sacrifice for one’s offspring was the main actuating element for a mere mortal. A sudden realization struck him. The fylgja existed before him, and its existence depended on him. Why would it exist, if life’s reason itself were not to further it?

“An excellent choice, Frelser. You have made the decision you were destined to.” As his flygja said these final words, without leaving time for Frelser to process all that happened, it flung him with such force that he returned to the tunnel's entrance faster than the speed of light. This velocity allowed him to withdraw from the white black hole in which he entered this transitional plane of existence. Eventually, all geometric forms, fractals, and sounds of either silence or unique humming waned. Finally, as frightening darkness began to surround and overwhelm him, his senses rebooted and were ready to feed him information about his surroundings. Frelser expected to grasp for air as he came to, but all he did was open his blue eyes and move his head to look around. He first touched his face to make sure he was not a spirit anymore. He then quickly remembered that his body was just a vessel for him to be able to navigate this dimension of life. He touched his platinum blond hair to feel something other than his skin. All his pain, both physical and mental, was gone. His soul was healed. He did not feel any different regarding having motivation, but he thought the fact that he wanted to stand up was a telltale sign of change; so he did, and while doing so, he smiled. As he smiled, tears welled up and then rolled down his cheeks. For the first time in a while, he felt again. For the first time in his life, he knew he was Home.