Alpha Mate

Chapter 9

Calum Pov

Morgan was quiet throughout the entire dinner. It only made sense that she wouldn't talk much since she didn't know anyone. There was also a bit of hesitancy for anyone to speak to Morgan after I warned the males to stay away from her. I hadn't officially addressed the pack that she was my mate yet, but I still didn't want any men thinking that they could have a chance with her.

I had hoped the two of us could talk over dinner, but I had no idea what to say. It could've been a chance to get to know her better, but asking her to give me facts about herself seemed forced when we had deeper issues to discuss. Those types of conversations were ones we needed most right now, and that couldn't be done at a dinner table with two dozen pack members with us.

Once we were finished, I led Morgan back up to my room. Actually, it was our room now. As soon as she made the decision to stay in my pack, I knew I wanted her to be as close to me as possible. It would take a while for me to adjust to living with my mate, but I couldn't wait much longer to start doing normal mate things like sharing a room.

When we entered the room, Morgan didn't wait for me. The afternoon had allowed her to make herself comfortable here already. She made her way straight to the couch and took a seat. Since I had promised her that we would have a discussion, I followed suit and sat down on the cushion beside hers.

"How do you like the room?" I asked. It was a stupid question, but it felt like the safest thing to say.

"It's nicer than the old room."

I smiled, but I imagined it only came off as awkward. "There are perks to being an alpha."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I nodded. "Ask away."

"Why are you treating me like this all of a sudden?"

"Like what?" I shouldn't have tried prolonging the inevitable. I would have to tell her sooner or later tonight why I had been an asshole to her as soon as she arrived. It was up for her to decide if my reasoning was valid for keeping her at a distance. I had a feeling when she realized how wrong I had been in my assumptions, I would only look worse than I already had.

"Like I might actually be someone important to you," she responded.

She was right, I hadn't treated her as I should have as soon as I found her in that infirmary room. Still, I tried to deny that anything had changed. Because truly, I had wanted her long before I met her, but had been too crushed by the idea of her starting a family without me that I couldn't bring myself to find out the truth.

"You're my mate. You've always been important to me."

She scoffed. Even angry at me, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I would do everything in my power to ensure I never hurt her the way I did again. "If I were as important to you as you say, why did you refuse to speak to me the first week I was here? I sat locked in a bedroom all that time, and not once did you come to visit me, your so-called mate."

My gaze fell to the ground as I clasped my hands together in my lap. She deserved to hear the truth from me, no matter how bad it sounded. I would have to explain my actions to her sooner or later. With a deep breath, I grew the strength to look in her eyes.

"The day that you were attacked, I was notified by my beta that there was a woman and a small child found outside our borders. I was just going to the infirmary to question you about the rogues. I had no idea that you would turn out to be my mate."

Morgan's brows furrowed, not making the connection of why any of this would cause me to leave her alone in that infirmary room.

"Before even meeting you, I figured that it was a mother and her child that were brought into my pack. I couldn't bring myself to talk to you after seeing you for the first time, out of fear that you would confirm the baby was yours," I finally admitted.

Her eyes widened at my confession. "You wouldn't speak to me because you thought Lilian was my daughter?"

I lowered my head, ashamed of myself. "Yes."

"It really never occurred to you that there was a chance she wasn't mine?"

"I wanted to believe that was a possibility, but Ashlyn said the two of you looked so much alike."

"If you had just asked me, we wouldn't have wasted an entire week with me trapped in that damn room," Morgan's voice rose, revealing her irritation with me.

"I realize that now. I was just so upset that you hadn't waited for me."

This only enraged her further. "In what world is it okay to treat me that way because of decisions I made before even meeting you? I bet you didn't wait for me."

These days, it is a lot less common for wolves to remain abstinent before they meet their mates. As much as I wanted her all to myself, she was right. I couldn't hold her past against her just as I wouldn't want her to judge me based on my past. However, that didn't change the hurt I felt at believing she had already started a family.

"How would you feel if, upon meeting me, you learned that I had a baby with someone else?"

The tension within her features resided as she let my question sink in. "I wouldn't like it."

Part of me figured I was the last person she wanted near her, but I took the risk of grabbing her hand anyway. I wanted this small piece of physical contact as we tried to understand one another. Instead of pulling her hand away, she held onto mine tightly.

"When I thought the baby was yours, I figured you weren't going to need me because you had already started a family."

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" she whispered. "You would have learned that what you believed wasn't the case."

"I didn't want you to see how hurt I was. I'm not used to letting people see my weaknesses."

"How did you find out that Lilian was my niece?"

"It wasn't until the beta of your old pack called me. He said they were looking for the two of you, and when I asked him who you were, he explained how you ended up with the baby during the rogue attack."

"Listen, I'm not saying that the way you treated me was right, but I understand why you acted the way you did."

"Thank you for hearing me out, Morgan. I'm so sorry for everything," I apologized.

"It's going to take some time for me to forgive you."

"I understand and I promise that I will do everything I can to make it up to you." Part of me knew that I didn't deserve her forgiveness, but I would be a fool not to accept a second chance from her.

"Good. You can start by letting me stay in another room."

I shook my head. I was willing to do anything but that. Now that we were going to give this relationship a chance, I needed her to be close to me.

"That's not going to happen. I want you to stay here with me."

"And after everything, I want to have my own space."

I can admit that I hurt her, but making this relationship work started with acting like any other mates. Under normal circumstances, mates didn't wait to start living together. The best way to grow our connection was by sharing the same space.

"This is our room. My decision is final."

"We are not going to get anywhere if you think your opinion is the only one that matters. I just told you that I haven't forgiven you yet. What makes you think I am ready to sleep in the same bed as you just because you apologized?"

"If sleeping together is the only part that bothers you, we can remedy that. I don't have to sleep in the bed with you."

She looked at me with a skeptical expression. "Then where will you go?

"Right here," I said.

"On the couch?"

If I had to endure a backache for an indefinite amount of time for my mate, I would. Anything as long as it meant that I wouldn't have to be away from her any longer.

"Yes."

"Are you sure? You could be in your own bed if I just want to another guest room," she suggested.

"The couch really isn't that bad. I wasted so much time with you by making an ass of myself. I really just don't want to be separated from you more than I already have been."

I could tell that she was still having a hard time trusting me, but this time she could see my intentions were good.

"Alright."

"It's getting late. Are you ready for bed?"

She nodded.

With her hand still in mine, we stood and I led her over to my bed. Or what soon would be considered to be our bed. Before I let go of her hand, I contemplated kissing her forehead goodnight. I didn't want to anger her again by being too forward. In the end, I was unable to hold myself back. I leaned down to press a feather light kiss against her skin. It was a relief when she didn't pull away from me.

As she settled in under the covers, I grabbed a pillow from the side of the bed and a blanket that I kept in the closet. Things may still have been a little rocky between us, but being in the same was a step in the right direction. I walked to my respective side of the room and laid down after all the lights had been turned off.

It was the truth when I said the couch wasn't the most uncomfortable. It was long enough and wide enough to hold my tall frame. Though I wasn't used to sleeping on it an entire night, I had taken naps on it in the past.

I laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling through the dark. With my sensitive hearing, I could hear Morgan's breath slowly evening out from across the room. As I considered the ways I could try to earn Morgan's trust, the sound of her quiet breath lulled me to sleep.