Denying Destiny

After 7 Years

"OMG. Nakita mo ba yung reading list ni Attorney Abella? Baka isang buong taon kong kailangan basahin yon." Reklamo ni Lian as soon as nakahanap kami ng empty na spot. Binagsak ni Lian yung bag nya at notebook sa ibabaw ng mesa sa library at pabagsak din syang umupo. Walang pakundangan sa ibang nagbabasa sa lib.

I sat down across her. "Welcome to third year in law school, Ms. Coronel." I smiled at her sarcastically as I also scanned the list of cases na binigay ng prof namin earlier.

Ugggh, Lian's right. I opened one button sa white longsleeve girly dress shirt ko with a discreet white long bow ribboned around my neck that I partnered with my slim gray slacks, while still scanning our case list.

Pasimple ko ding tinanggal yung paa ko sa black heels ko. Ngayon nalang ulit ako nagsuot ng heels, mga ilang months din napahinga yung paa ko and now sumasakit na sya. Isang klase pa. I told my feet silently. I should have worn flats nalang, nabigla tuloy ako sa heels.

"Well, kailangan na nating magsimula. As if may choice tayo. Papa photox ka ba?" Lian stood up and exhaled. I took out my wallet and gave her money and she walked away to photocopy our list of cases. I think it was a mistake, I did a double-take on the case list. I should've just searched for those cases online. O well.

I took out my phone and checked my i********: and there's a new story from Max. It was from a shoot location he's doing. I quickly typed a comment Can't wait to watch it direk! Coffee soon pag di ka na busy. We miss you! XOXO – Stace & Lian

Lian got back soon after. "Later 4pm pa daw natin makukuha. Lunch muna tayo before Civ Rev? I'm sure nakaka drain nanaman yun ng energy." Aya nya. And she's probably right. Kahit first day pa lang ng term I could almost see kung anong mangyayari samin for the rest of the sem.

Law school was hard. And got even harder as we progressed. We'd think na masasanay din kami, but classes got more rigorous and we started to experience all the terror professors the upperclassmen usually ranted about.

Although Lian and myself got a bit taste of what we might be facing in law school from our pre-law courses, that was exactly it. A bit. The only consolation we had was magkasama kaming dalawa dito. Magkasama kaming miserable. Masochista na yata kami.

We spent most our days for two years studying and we almost never had any social life aside from a few that involved some of our lawschool friends and blockmates. Also except during term breaks, and a couple of weekends na we got to see si Max if di din sya busy sa shoots or writing. And now we're in our third year. I was growing anxious.

I never excelled in my undergrad years and even in highschool. I was the type na tres lang ok na, pasang awa ok na. I even had to repeat a couple of subjects in college. Lian had to wait for me to graduate one semester later before we applied and took exams in law schools.

In law school I was definitely different. I got a LITTLE more grade conscious. Lalu na dun sa mga subjects that I enjoy. Probably because of the maturity I had no choice but develop here. Or the larger tuition fee compared to my state-run pre-law university. Nahiya naman ako ng konti sa parents ko if ngayon pa ko magloloko.

When we were in college, Max dropped out of Film School during our junior year for a very good opportunity na hindi nya ma palagpas. He was offered to be a part of a growing indie film company kung saan sya nag submit ng screenplay for a competition. It won and when the offer was made to show it sa isang film festival, he decided to drop out and do it full time.

Yun lang, mga two years din silang hindi nag usap ng magulang nya, but when they saw that he was getting more successful and happy with what he was doing, they began to mend their relationship.

After lunch, Lian and I found our classroom for the next class and we entered. We used to have our blockmates with us, but as term after term progressed, pabawas na kami ng pabawas. That's another scary probability I didn't want to face.

"Stace, pinapa tanong pala ni dad if go ka pa rin daw to intern sa law office nila?" Lian asked when we took their seats on the empty ones along the aisle.

"I'll think about it Li. Ang hirap ng Manila to Alabang everyday e, and di ko naayos yung sched ko this term for it." I suddenly remembered. Shoot. We needed nga pala to finish 250 hours of apprenticeship this school year. Which I stupidly forgot to enroll this term.

"Okay lang, may next sem pa naman. Or I can ask him if he can also just give you cases to review and other assignments to take home like what I'm doing? He can just give you the evaluation next term when you enroll it."

I sighed. "No, okay lang. And besides, ang tanga ko I forgot to enroll it."

"Fine if you insist on getting the whole experience." Lianna rolled her eyes at me.

She didn't understand why I wanted to do it the harder way, when she can easily ask her dad to fix it for me. A lot of our schoolmates did their apprenticeship either in their family firms or through connections.

I've already tried explaining to Lian why I wanted to experience doing mine for a law firm. Lian's dad was a lawyer so she was already used to what lawyers do since sinasama sya palagi ng tatay nya sa office nung bata pa sya. This was the reason why she wanted to attend law school, to work alongside her dad.

Almost all of our friends from law school have lawyer dads or moms or kuyas and ates or even came from a whole family of lawyers. While I never had any family member or even a family friend who's a lawyer, so no one's there to show me anything related to what I'll be getting myself into when I pass the Bar. I was hoping to get all the knowledge and experience I need during that apprenticeship.

"OMG nakita mo story ni bakla? May bago nanaman syang ginagawang movie. Di nanaman natin sya makikita." Lian let go of our earlier discussion and was now scanning her IG while waiting for our professor. "Yeah I replied na kanina. Sabi ko coffee soon." I dismissively answered. Even if I'm not sure if we could actually really meet each other for coffee.

If we wanted to see Max, we would just Facetime him. And in fairness to him he always made sure to answer us, nasa shoot man sya or kung saan. Minsan virtual kapehan nalang ginagawa namin.

"As if magkikita talaga tayo in person. Nakalimutan na nya tayo with all the famous artistas surrounding him." Lian said bitterly but smiled as she typed her reply, echoing my exact thoughts.

I started scanning my IG feed as well. Social media for law students were just to pass time while waiting for late professors. Or pwedeng ako lang yon. I barely post anything "social". I post books and cases I read, my coffee, and coffee I drink WHILE reading the books and cases. Which was pathetic. My IG was evidence of my non-existent social life.

Ang tagal naman ng prof na to. I was starting to get bored. Professors were known to skip the first day of classes and just ask someone from admin to give out the course outline and case assignments.

Siniko ako bigla ni Lian who quickly hid her phone when our professor finally entered the room. "Girl, ang gwapo ni Attorney!!!" Lian added in a whisper as I looked up to meet the eyes of our professor who looked away to scan the whole class as soon as he sat down. Medyo natulala ako sandali.

Gwapo was certainly a word for it. Or we needed something much more than that to do this person in front any justice. He looks way younger than any professor we've ever had. He had deep set eyes and chisled jaw and a probably a near perfect nose to match that jaw. I couldn't decide what feature was more beautiful. Probably his eyes.

He was dressed impeccably too. Light blue long sleeve polo, which was pulled up to his elbow, the kind na medyo gusot mayaman that you don't know if sinasadya or what, with black slacks that hugged in ALL the right places, and shiny black shoes. Who cares about the shoes, really?

If he didn't have the same air as our other law professors have, I would think he doesn't belong here. He was too young and too good looking. And mukha din mabango.

I looked around and saw our other female classmates ogling at the new professor. Mukhang bago din sya since we have certainly not seen him around. Maybe he just passed the Bar? But new lawyers don't really teach review classes. Baka matalino or matanda na but only looks young.

"Good afternoon class. This is Civ Rev 1. We'll just have attendance and I'll give you the outline and case list to photocopy." Our professor casually said with a cool deep voice that was so engaging. Parang kumakanta yung mga anghel habang nagsasalita sya. Ano ba tong taong to? Perfect?? He took out the class cards and unbound them from the rubber band and started calling out names.

After the attendance, he asked for a class beadle. All of the girls' hands in the class quickly shot up (kasama nung mga ibang bakla and mga bida-bidang lalake). Except for mine. I never wanted to be a beadle since it was too much work and because it required social interaction.

Lian was even raising two hands so siniko ko sya out of embarrassment and she dropped the other arm. "Girl itaas mo yang kamay mo." Lian sternly whispered to me. "No thanks." I rolled my eyes.

Our professor stared at the class amusedly. I knew he wasn't surprised at the reaction. He probably had the same effect over and over again from every class he teaches. I wonder if magtataas pa ng mga kamay yung mga kaklase ko pag nagpa volunteer na for recit.

"Why don't I just pick from the cards?" He said smiling. And bumaba yung mga kamay ng mga kaklase namin. Lian though was still raising her hand and I immediately reached to pull it down. "Nakakahiya ka na Li." I whispered.

The professor shuffled the class cards and bumunot ng isa. "Valdez, Stacy Margaret." He called. I almost groaned aloud and Lian pulled my hair from excitement and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Ms. Valdez?" Their professor called again and scanned the room. Pwede ko ba tong tanggihan? "So ngayon walang gustong magtaas ng kamay?" He chuckled. I slowly raised my hand a little but I couldn't exactly hide the disappointment on my face.

Tinaasan ako ng kilay ng prof, not letting go of the amused expression on his face. Ano yun? Mas lalung napakunot yung noo ko. What is so amusing with my misery? Okay medyo OA yung misery, but a little bit close. "It's almost always the unwilling volunteer." He almost said it to himself pero narinig ko sya. He seem to be enjoying this.

"Ms. Valdez, I'll be needing the list of everyone's email addresses by our next meeting." He directly eyed me and I can only nod. "Here's the course outline and case list." I wasn't sure if I should stand up, but I did anyway because he was holding it up for me and tinitignan pa rin nya ko. Nahihiya na ko.

"I guess that's it. Class dismissed." He smiled and I almost had a mini heart attack from his dazzling smile when he looked at me directly. Nakatayo lang ako dun mukhang tanga buti nalang di ako nakanganga.

He started to get up and addressed the class. "Oh, by the way, I'm Atty. Roxas. I'll see you next meeting and prepare for a recitation, coverage is the first part of the outline and might include the first part of the Family Code." Then he was out of the room.

Recovering after he was out of the room, I got the attention of the whole class then passed a yellow pad page for them class to put in their email addresses and numbers (for me in case I needed to text them if walang class or for whatever. Ugggh I hate being the beadle.

"Ang gwapo! Di ko alam paano ako mabubuhay sa klase na to. Baka ibagsak ko. Well okay lang kung sya pa rin prof. And OMG! Ikaw yung beadle at ayaw mo pa!" Lian stood up and got her books and I followed her as soon as I got back the yellow pad. I had to type this, naisip ko as I frowned at some of my classmates' horrendous penmanship.

"Wait, kailangan ko tong iwan sa photocopy center, and check na din natin if available na yung sa Poli." I waved the outline and case list which I almost forgot.

I left the outline and case list after photocopying it for Lian and myself with a post it labeled 'Civ Rev 1 - Atty. Roxas' for the staff to identify and we got our Poli Rev cases. I groaned. Ang dami nga nung cases and they were all long yung iba pa halos kumakalas na sa staple wire. I frowned at it, gusto ko na agad sindihan sa sama ng loob. I should have segregated the cases I've already read during our other Poli Law subjects. Sobrang waste of money.

I decided to search nalang the Civ Rev 1 cases sa internet while Lian wanted to have the photocopied version. She doesn't like reading from her laptop. And she didn't care much if doble doble na yung mga kaso nyang napapa photocopy.

I waited for Lian sa gilid while scanning my own copy of the course outline for Atty. Roxas' class thinking kung paano ko pa ipagkakasya yung ibang mga kaso sa oras ko. Not to mention we still have Tax Law 2, Evidence, and Criminal Procedure. When I got to the last page, my eyes bulged. "OH. MY. GOD." I said rather loudly ang I froze.

There, though written in small font, the name screamed at me. Atty. Killian De Vera Roxas.