Maybe, that was when

WHEN DID IT END?

PROLOGUE

City lights, the wind that tousles my hair, the lightness in my head, the distant noise coming from the engines and honking of cars in the middle of traffic; I closed my eyes to savor the moment. Final moment; a dramatic one. This exact moment is the calmest that I have ever been in my whole life. I feel like this is the moment that I have been waiting for, what I have been working hard for. Freedom; that's what it feels like.

I'm coming to say goodbye to the agony, hatred, fear, anxiety, and the feeling of worthlessness. One step, just one more, and I'll be freed from this world. I opened my eyes to take a look one last time. A sudden pang came through my chest, probably guilt. I was happy, it was great to be alive.

Now, I wonder when? When did it end— all the enjoyment? Was it when I was being left out in my circle of friends? Was it when my parents never tried to listen, and understand what I felt? Was it when I lost all my trust among my peers of opposite s*x? Was it when I was trying so hard to fit in? Was it when I tried to reach every expectations and standards?

Ohhhh right, something came to mind, and maybe that was when. Even if I am this selfish, I still feel sorry for those who will be left by me. I feel sad that they have to endure the sufferings brought by life itself. With a heavy heart, I took that one last step, and let myself be one with the wind.