The Encounter

Chapter 7

Blessing pov:

I sat up as straight as I could and tried as much as I could not to let my anxiety show, waste of time I guess, as the first words that left his lips are “b… relax, I just need to understand why you felt you had to do it that way rather than talk to me”

Cola finally took the armchair opposite mine he sat up straight forcing me to face the bitter reality that this dreaded topic was about to be visited and this time I couldn’t run from it.

I take a deep breath and shut my eyes hoping and praying that this ends quickly.

He takes a deep breath as well and asks ‘why’

I wanted to revert to my usual routine of why what?… but thought the better of it. So here goes nothing, I say a silent prayer before I answer him as honestly as I could.

“Cola…” I whispered “ it’s not like I wanted to. The truth is I don’t know why and the moment I got on that bus I regretted my decision but it was too late, I couldn’t go back, even if I did things would never be the same for us. I had to go it was best that way….” Best for whom Blessing… you or me? Cause I don’t get why you’d leave home regret it and think even for a second that things would never be the same for us again then expect me to believe that.” He stands and starts pacing from one wall to the other. I tried to get my voice to be audible as I said “you’d not understand “…. Then make me, he say

“you know what forget it I’ll rather know what made you decide to leave, regret or no regrets… why did you up and leave after every thing, that’s what is important to me… why did you leave?” This time he sits on the edge of his chair and stares at me as if he could see the answer on my face.

Dear God give me strength cause I sure do need it. “ okay” I say “ the truth is I hated how you went ahead to plan everything without talking things out with me first, you didn’t ask if I wanted to move down to Lagos or if I was ready to settle down or wanted to work for your family, you just assumed and went ahead to do all those things, and if I hadn’t mentioned my leaving before yours, you’d have left me in the dark, I didn’t feel safe or loved”. I half screamed almost crying at the frustration that he had put me through. I was angry at myself for a lot of things but I blamed him for making our relationship that was my home feel like an egg shell, we weren’t like that at first but towards the end Cola became too much to bare, acting like na insecure lover, questioning everything I did and never telling me what he was up to, late night calls and sudden disappearance were a common occurrence

He get angry at questions and tell me that I was acting like a crazy woman. Any conversation could easily become an augmented and now that I think about it I left because he made me. With his constant act of uncaring attitude and temperamental lost of control.

He looks at me like I’ve just been given a black eye and he felt sorry for me…

“ Oh B…” he says squatting down and taking my hands in his “that’s wasn’t my intention at all, I wasn’t trying to control you I didn’t want you stressing over anything else. But why baby…? Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”””

“I tried to but you never listened, plus your temper always got in the way, you always just ended up saying I was stubborn and…. “But you are stubborn” he interjects almost angrily standing up abruptly and moving a few steps away. “I was only trying to help but look what you did, and now you want to blame me for it? Like you hurt me for two whole years Blessing Ebele and the sorry, plus explanation I get is that my temper didn’t let you talk things out with me? Are you for real… “

“ I am Cola and you’re doing it again, you see this attitude right here that’s why I couldn’t talk to you, if something didn’t go your way you’d always lash out and be like this or worst. Truth is I am scared of this? I said pointing to him in his fuming state, “this man that you become when I tell you something you didn’t want to hear, or disagree with you, I couldn’t tell you that you scared me, or that I wasn’t ready for marriage, or that I didn’t want to move because you’d become him”. At this point I was standing up and facing him and I too was quite upset. Partly because he made me felt scared when he should have made it safe for me and partly cause I finally had to face up my emotions.

Having hide all this for so long was exhausting and having a chance to give my fear voice was exhilarating I was tired of making him feel perfect.

Everyone believed I was a fault my mother at one point thought perhaps I had been unfaithful that was why I ran but truth was Cola made me scared.

Amanda had been involved actively with woman’s rights and a lot of them suffered domestic violence almost all of them telling their story tells you it started with an irritable attitude and a list of temper I didn’t want to be a victim of that and seeing him slowly become that man was more scary that anything I’d experienced in my twenty two years at the time.

The only option I had was to run and yea Cola made me run, from the love of my life, from my home, from my best friend and from the father of my son.

Cola’s pov:

Watching her chest rise and fall in anger I realized that she was right. I was paranoid a couple months before her disappearance and almost unbearable

Truth was I didn’t want to be like that but I had a lot of fears and doubts on my mind, I didn’t want to drag her into my world, I was also worried about our relationship leaving the small confines of Plateau state and become a big media news. I was scared of someone hurting her just to get to me or worst my uncles manipulating hands reaching her

I was petrified of losing the woman I loved to the world that lay outside our love nest. The more she tried to let me see reason, the more I got out of control, my fear was used against us at the time and I wasn’t about to let that happen again .

I force my self to be reasonable and calm down, reminding myself, that getting her to come back to me willingly, was better than having to fight her to stay by my side, while fighting the rest of the world