Stay with me

Chapter 8: Addison

Addison's P.O.V

    I can't say I mind the way dad is right now. Laughing, Carefree... Happy. I like him better this way, of course I do. No daughter wants to see their father battling depression. No one should have to deal with depression. 

No one.

    The overwhelming sadness that just suddenly occurs. When you actually smile for once but it slowly fades when you realize that you're not supposed to be smiling or having fun when somewhere out there my mom is either smiling or is in a pool of sadness. I choose to believe she's still somewhere out there. I choose to believe that she didn't just disappear like a horrible magic trick gone wrong, that she didn't disappear forever. 

  My dad has creases around his lips from him smiling all the time, years ago. He stopped smiling completely when mom died. I kept smiling, even if it was fake. It was easier that way. The only person whose ever seen me cry is Alec. I won't even let me dad see me cry. I have to be strong in front of him so he doesn't lose all the hard work he's been putting in to get better. 

   I know Alec is struggling as well to come to terms with the fact that mom's gone. He was closer to her than he was to his own mom. My mom treated him as if he were her own. She always assumed that we would get married someday. Not exactly true, considering the fact that a romantic relationship of any kind has to actually go both ways. Alec has to actually like me as more than friend in order to have any type of romantic relationship.

"How have you been doing lately?" Dad asks Alec, seeming genuinely interested.

   Alec hesitates for the quickest of seconds and if you didn't know him really well and if I couldn't read his facial expressions easier than I could read my own you wouldn't have seen the quick flash of sadness covering his face. His eyes dart towards me but quickly resume to looking at dad.

He smiles and says "I'm great. How have you been?"

   Dad's expression turns grim and I shoot daggers at Alec kicking him in the leg. He looks at me silently saying 'I'm sorry' and I silently accept his apology. He nods his head at me and turns his attention back towards dad.

"I've seen better days but I think I'm heading down the right road." Dad smiles and turns towards me. "How have you been Addison? I haven't asked you that as often as I should." He says the last part quietly with a pained expression marked all over his face. 

I nod to him and say "It's okay, I've been fine. So, there hasn't been much to catch up on anyway."

   He shakes his head saying "No, it's not fine. I haven't been the supporting father I should've been after your mother died." His voice catches on the word died and I can see the tears threatening to spill over.

   I reach my hand over the table to grab his hand. "Dad, it's fine. I've been fine, really. It's been difficult, of course, but you needed  to work in order to get in the right state of mind and I needed to be alone." With Alec by my side, I add silently. 

I didn't want Dad to know that I've been broken inside without him. I still need him but I guess I just know that he needs to be by himself sometimes.

   Alec's eyebrows shoot up at the fact that I needed to be alone for a while when he knew I wanted to be anything but. He doesn't say anything, which I am grateful for and I give him a look silently thanking him. He gives a quick nod of understanding.

"So... How was work today? Save any new wacky people?" I ask trying to change the subject. Both Alec and dad seemed to acknowledge that but they don't mention it.

   Dad's face brightens into a smile and he goes on to tell me and Alec about how an old lady showed up today yelling in the middle of the waiting room that 'She was sleeping and then the frogs came and they had a worm with them kept as a hostage and it went into her ear eating up her brain'

God, I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard.

It's been a while, I guess.

   I shake my head mentally, not wanting to get in this right now. I turn back to the conversation and give a small smile to my dad. I'm so proud of him right now and it seems like I couldn't be happier.

  A waiter comes over to our table and asks what we would like to drink. Both Alec and dad ask for a sweet tea and when the waiter turns to face me, he freezes for a second his mouth hanging open slightly. I felt a blush creeping in my cheeks and I turned my head down for a second before looking back up. The waiter was still staring at me. I looked at his name tag- Eric. 

He continued to stare at me and now it was just a teensy bit awkward. Alec cleared his throat and that seemed to snap Eric out of daze.

"What would you-" Eric managed to squeak out before he cleared his throat seeming to realize that he sounded like a chipmunk and started again. "What would you like to drink?"

"Um... Water please." I say a little nervous under his gaze.I squirm and flick my eyes over to dad and Alec. They were both looking back and forth between me and Eric and they both had a small crease between their eyebrows and were frowning.

I look back over to the waiter who seems to finally realize that he might've been staring a little too long.

"I'm um... Sorry for staring. I hadn't realized that was your boyfriend." He said blushing a little. I mean, he was actually kind of cute and there wasn't any harm in going out with him. Although he hadn't asked me and now it was my turn to blush again.

   Eric had light blonde hair that was cropped short and had sea green eyes. He was wearing the same uniform as the girl who showed us our table and he was skinny but from what I can see with the fact that he has a shirt on, he seems really defined and built by muscle.

"Oh... He's not my boyfriend." I say giving him a flirty smile.

Alec moves suddenly to my right seeming to have flinched at my words and I whirl around to look at him. I can't read his expression and that terrifies me. What's he thinking right now?

  I look back at the waiter and give him a sheepish smile and ask if he could give us a minute to look over the menus. He seemed to understand that I needed a moment and gave me a small nod, smiling and walked away.

   Once he was out of sight I looked over at Alec, no doubt worry written all over my face. He just stared at me like he didn't know who I was.

"Since when do you flirt with strangers?" He blurted out.

    The fact that me flirting with someone else bothered him made my heart swell inside my chest but it was quickly washed with anger when I realized that he can flirt with other people, strangers too might I add, but I can't?

I glared at Alec and said "What? So, you're allowed to flirt with any living thing that has a v****a but I can't? You have no say in who I can and cannot flirt with. None. Neither do I have any say in what you do. So suck it up and deal with it because I'm tired of you getting agitated over things that have nothing to do with you." 

Alec gives me a look of complete surprise. Apparently not expecting me to lash out like that, I mean, then again neither had I.

He quickly got over being surprised and now he was just mad. 

Alec's P.O.V

  I know I have no right to be mad, considering she has no idea that I'm in love with her but I can't seem to control it.

   My mouth opens but closes again not sure what to say. I open my mouth again but thankfully Matthew cuts me off probably seeing that I was about to say something that would totally screw me over with Addie.

"Why don't we actually look over the menu?" Matthew asks. 

   I nod my head slowly, agreeing. I grab my menu off the table and flip through it, all the lines blurring together. I'm trying hard to see the words correctly but the harder I try the worse it gets. I'm dyslexic and I'm not really thinking clearly right now, so, that's the most likely cause of it.

"Dammit." I whisper under my breathe. I thought no one had heard me but Addie looked up and saw my face. She suddenly understood and gently took the menu from my hands with pure warmth in her eyes.

Damn... It's kind of hard to be mad at Addie when she's like this.

    I smile at her gratefully and she smiles back. She takes the menu and puts it flat on the table in between us. As she reads the food choices, a piece of hair falls over her eyes. She moves her finger under what I assumed were the names of the food and she was whisper-mumbling the choices under her breathe so I would understand. 

Matthew didn't pay us any mind but I could see a small smirk playing on his lips.

 A small sigh of contentment fell through my lips without my noticing but I could tell Addie had heard it because she leaned a little into me and I could swear my heart rate was going through the roof.

"Just pick whatever you think I might like. It's kind of hard to focus for me right now." I say quietly so just me and Addie would hear. Matthew, that damn bastard, still turned his ear subtly toward us and I almost laughed at loud at the fact that he was trying to pretend he wasn't eavesdropping but he quite obviously was.

"Okay" She breathed. All the sudden she was a little closer to me and my heart beat skittered to a halt realizing she was so near. I mean, we've touched before, we've hugged and stuff but this felt different for some odd reason.

My breath hitched. 

"So are you ready for me to take your order?" A voice asks all the sudden making me and Addie jump apart. The waiter narrows his eyes slightly at the very little space between us. 

   Bro, she flirted with you one time. That doesn't make you her boyfriend, so do me a favor and skedaddle, please and thank you. Bu bye now.

 I know that it's just the jealousy talking and my insecurity but she seems like she likes him and he seems like he could be good for her. Better than me. Better than I could ever be for her.

   Apparently it's my turn to order because all three pair of eyes are on me. I squirm under their awaiting gaze and nudge Addie with my elbow, trying to remind her that she's supposed to be ordering for me.

She takes a second with a confused expression on her face before she comes to the realization with her mouth shaping an 'O'.

Addie turns around to face the waiter and smiles saying "He'll have the Fettuccine Alfredo, please and thank you."

   He seemed to have realized that she turned from flirty straight to polite and he looked disappointed. Not that I blame him Addie's too beautiful for her own good, although she doesn't realize it.

  I think that that's the best kind of beautiful. When a girl doesn't know that she's beautiful. When she's doesn't flaunt it, that's the best kind of beautiful.

    He gives us a small nod and walks away into the kitchen. Presumably to tell them our orders. Addie turns around to look at the kitchen where it's open and you can see them all cooking. I know she loves all this and that makes me incredibly happy.

Once she turns her body back around to face me and Matthew, I let out a sigh of content, watching her smile like this.