Stay with me

Chapter 6: Addison

I cannot believe I just snapped at him. I feel bad, incredibly bad now.

I think about running after him but decide to call him later. I need to get ready for dinner tonight anyway.

Since I already took a shower this morning all I have to do is change. Or maybe I should just wear the same thing? Yeah, I'll do that. I'm too lazy to change. 

Instead, I go to the kitchen. Ice cream is not enough to fill an eighteen-year-old girl's stomach. I open the fridge and see that we don't have much. I sigh. There is only a half gallon of milk, some oranges and a couple of lunchables. Dad keeps buying them even though I have told him several times that just because it says "lunch" on them doesn't mean it's enough to fill me up.

Don't get me wrong, I love lunchables but if I wanted to actually be full, I'd have to have at least three of those and that would probably upset my poor little tummy.

I close the fridge and slip my phone out of my back pocket. I go to text messages and tap dad's name.

Addison: I'm going to the grocery store to get more food.

Dad: Okay, honey. I will be at the apartment in ten minutes.

Addison: Okay, I'll see you in thirty.

I slide my phone back in my pocket and grab my keys off the counter. After locking the door behind me, I go to the elevator, this time not getting interrupted by Ms. Potter.

I mean, I love Ms. Potter. She's nice and all but she's a little... distracting. 

I hit the ground floor button, the doors close and the elevator shudders going down. 

Was Alec right? Did I actually like him? Yes. As more than a friend? Maybe. I did have this horrible feeling when I saw that girl with him. She looked absolutely perfect. All I could do is compare myself to her. She has beautiful blonde her, I have almond short brown hair with highlights. Why would Alec go for me when he could go for the pretty girl?

He says he loves me but why? What do I have that she doesn't? I'm not white, I'm light skinned and not that amazing. Although we have known each other almost our whole lives. So, he knows more about me than just about anybody.

Which is even more reason for him not to like me.

He knows all of my secrets. Every single one.

Except maybe that time that I...

Nope he knows that too.

When he told me he loved me before, I thought he was kidding and that he only loved me as a friend.

Apparently not...

I hear the elevator doors closing and I quickly put my foot out in order to keep them from making me have to take another trip.

I walk out and try to look like I'm not an i***t, which is pretty hard.

How did I not realize the doors had opened?

I'm seriously off my rocker today.

First, I get jealous (Which I never did with any of my exes)

Second, I snap at Alec (Which I never do)

 And now, third, I'm completely not even paying attention. I'm usually always aware of my surroundings.

God, what a day.

  I sigh and open the door to the apartments parking garage. I run my eyes over all of the cars wondering what's the story behind them. How many people have been in that car over there? How many people are attached to that person?

 When I say attached, I mean people who are friends with that person, people who are related to that person. 

How many people for that one single silver Kia? Thousands? Tens of thousands? How many people has that person run into over the course of his or her life?

Definitely, at least tens of thousands.

How many people do I know?

I have no f*****g clue.

I take my keys and hit the unlock button when I see my white Jeep.

It would be way too expensive for me to pay for myself but my dad had bought it for my seventeenth birthday.

Now before you say that I'm one of those girls that my dad buys everything for me and I'm always getting everything I want, I'm not.

I'm not like f*****g Dudley Dursley from Harry Potter counting every single one of my presents and freaking out when there isn't enough.

Like f**k.

My dad is a doctor, yes. 

But because he wanted to be a doctor so bad he has a whole lot of student debts. He just now finished paying for them after all these years.

He saved his money to get this car for me for two years.

I get in the car and put my keys in the ignition. Pulling out of the parking garage I get my phone out of my pocket before I put my seat belt on and look for Alec's name.

When I find his name, I tap it and wait for him to pick up.

He picks up after a few rings.

"Hey" He says sounding slightly out of breath.

"Hey, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. If you still want to- I would like you to come to dinner with us Alec."

I paused knowing that what I was going to say next would sound desperate.

"I know you want me and dad to talk but I need  you there" I say feeling raw and open.

I'm almost in tears and luckily I'm already in the parking lot of Publix.

Being with dad alone would force us to talk about things that I'm just not read to talk about with him yet.

 I need time.

"Okay, I'll be there in a couple of hours" He says.

Oh thank god.

"Okay bye." I say trying my hardest to keep from crying.

He hangs up and that's when the tears come loose.

I hate that it's my birthday.

  I don't want to be eighteen, I just want to be back when I could easily fit into my mothers arms when I was upset but even if I wanted to be younger she'd still be gone.

I just miss her so f*****g much.

I feel like my heart has cracked right down the middle and then was shredded a hundred times more.

  She wasn't supposed to leave so soon. They said she was supposed to have five years. We were supposed to finish her bucket list...

 She died all alone in the hospital and I was home asleep thinking that I would wake up, get dad to drive me to the hospital and see her in the morning.

That never happened.

And it pains me everyday that I wasn't there for her.

 I overheard the doctors talking with my dad that day and they said that she died from heart failure. I knew from experience that chess pain is the worst and it hurts like hell but heart failure?

I couldn't possibly imagine...

She was diagnosed with Leukemia a couple of months before she had died.

My whole body starts racking with sobs and it takes ten minutes for me to even remotely calm down.

I get in and out of the store in forty-five minutes and make my way back home.