Damaged Before Christmas

Chapter Twelve

I sat in my dad's hospital room waiting on the doctors giving him the all-clear to go home. I trying to keep my mind from wandering but the harder that I tried not to think about Iona the more she wormed into it. She was like a drug and I couldn't resist as much as I didn't want to.

"You're deep in thought over there," my dad said once the doctor left the room getting the paperwork filled out for my dad to be discharged.

"Just got things on my mind," I said still lost to my thoughts.

"Wouldn't happen to be with the girl you're wanting would it?" he asked me.

I leant my head back against the wall. "Unfortunately, I thought I had a plan on how to get her to be mine, but I feel like it's got worse than how it was before."

My dad groaned as he stood from the bed before walking slowly across the room and sat in the other chair beside me. "Tell me what happened."

I sighed and looked at my father. "The morning that I left after our last conversation I had thought of a plan on how to go about getting her to like me. I went home had a shower and went over to the bakery as I knew she was working all day. I walked in and she was rushed off her feet so I offered to help her out, that was why I was late with the coffee."

"Go on," my father urging me to continue.

"Well, it took some persuading but she finally agreed for me to help her as the bakery was busier than what she was used to. Once the last customer had gone we were talking and I apologised for the behaviour when I met her. She accepted and I felt this pull towards her and she felt it too. I leaned in to kiss her but thought better so I...I pulled back," I said dropping my head into my hands.

"OK, then what happened?" my dad wanted to hear the rest.

"After I had pulled back I could tell she was hurt and felt rejected and she was mad. I mean she was proper raging with me. She ranted about how she wasn't good enough for anyone and that she wasn't going to put anyone through having to put up with her. She said that I wouldn't have to worry about seeing her again as she wanted to figure out where she belonged in the world." My chest felt tight as I told my dad everything that she had said including the part in which she was going to look for somewhere else to live and work instead of putting our family through any more trouble.

My father cleared his throat and watched me closely. "Tell me, Tony, what have you done since then? I mean she is obviously hurting from an experience in her past which has made her think the way she does. Since the night she told you her fears and concerns, what have you done to help her? It's been a couple of days since you both saw each other."

I smiled this time before telling him about the flowers that I had sent to her flat. I didn't include a note or anything but I confessed that I watched hidden as she opened the door to the delivery man. I was too far away to hear what she said but I will never forget the smile that she had when she closed the door.

My dad just sat there and nodded. "That's a good start, but have you actually tried talking to her again?"

I thought back to the last couple of days and realised that I haven't even seen her at all. She hasn't been to the bakery or at the grocery store. "I haven't seen her at all dad," I felt my stomach drop making me feel sick. "Dad, what if she's left and I never got to tell her how I was feeling?"

My dad stood and crouched in front of me as he used to when I was a child. "My boy, she hasn't left town as I know your mother got her to agree to stay in town. She's still at the flat and she's been meeting up with Holly. She's hurting and even if she doesn't know it but she needs you just as much as you need her."

"You really think so? You've done the delivery business since before I was born, you know the type of child she was. What was she like?" I asked knowing my father knew if she was a good kid or a bad kid due to the business we were in.

"She was special, she always helped the little guys whenever she saw them getting picked on. She worked hard for the things that she wanted. She's been hurt so many times by the men she thought were going to be her forever but they all broke her heart. Her last boyfriend she had caught him and her best friend cheating with each other behind her back."

I sucked in a deep breath when he had finished telling me that Iona had been cheated on by people she trusted. I had one more question to ask my father before I took him home. "Dad, what did she ask for Christmas when she was young?"

My dad smiled before standing. "It was always the same thing she asked for each year, that's why I have always kept an eye on her. She still sends a letter asking for the same thing even now."

"Come on old yin, just tell me," I groaned but I couldn't stop the teasing.

"She asked for a purpose in her life and true happiness," my dad whispered in my ear throwing an arm around my shoulders and squeezing.

I was still going over what my dad had said about Iona wanting true happiness. I had dropped my dad at home before I went home to think about the next step in getting Iona to know that I was going to be the guy that she wants.

I needed to see her and set the record straight before anything else. I wanted to just take her in my arms and show her how much she means to me, but I didn't want to make the matter worse. I had asked Holly if she could let me know when Iona's shifts were at the bakery so I could "accidentally" bump into her. I had also asked Holly for Iona's phone number and after promising her that I would talk to her more.

I was deep in my thoughts and plans that I hadn't noticed that I was sitting in front of my home. I don't remember making the drive home but oh well. I turned the car off before climbing out and walking up to the front door.

I walked through my home slowly holding my phone in my hand. I wanted to message Iona so much on one hand but on the other hand, I was worried she wouldn't reply. I sunk into my couch cushions and unlocked my phone and pressed the messaging icon. I decided to test the waters and send a simple text.

I took a breath in before typing "Hi."

I waited to see if she would reply. I held my breath when I heard my phone ding with a new message.

"Who is this?" Iona had messaged back.

I grinned and the relief flooded through my body. "It's Antonio, I hope you don't mind but I persuaded Holly to give me your number." I shot a message back hoping that she continued to message after finding out it was me.

I heard the ding as another message came through on my phone which I had gripped in my hand. I opened the message and felt my heart plummet in my chest.

"I wish she hadn't as I have embarrassed myself for a lifetime with you." I reread her message twice more before deciding that if she still turned me down with the next message I sent her then I was going over there.

"Iona, I would like, no I need to talk to you. If you don't want to talk to me then just listen. If I don't hear from you, I will come over there and tell you to your face what needs to be said." I messaged feeling angry that she wouldn't reply.

I saw the message icon flash alerting me that she had replied. "You wouldn't dare."

I stood from my couch and grabbed my keys and headed for the door as I typed out another message. "Watch me. I'll see you shortly." I jammed my phone into my pocket before leaving the flat.

It took me hardly any time to get to Iona's flat. I jumped out of the car and locked it as I headed for the stairs leading to her front door. I had managed to curb my anger as I stood in front of her door. I lifted my hand and knocked a few times hard.

"Go away Antonio, I don't want to talk to you or even talk to you," Iona shouted through the door.

"Iona, we need to talk and I'm not going anywhere until you open this door and we talk about what happened," I shouted back through her door.

"Please, just leave me alone. I said everything that I needed to say the other day," Iona pleaded sounding like she was just on the other side of the door.

"Please, honey, I just want to talk and then if you still want me to leave, I'll leave," I said resting my head on the wooden door.

I don't know how long I stood there but it seemed like an eternity before I finally heard the fumblings of the lock being unlocked and the door open slightly.

My breath stuck in my throat as I caught sight of the woman who had consumed every thought I possessed. Her hair looked wild like she had not long got out of bed. Her vest clung to her body and every delicious curve that she had while her trousers were loose and covered her feet.

"I've opened the door so please say what you want to then go," Iona said shivering in the coldness of the night.

"You're getting cold so can you let me in and I'll say what I need to say," Hoping she would let me in as the cold was penetrating my jacket so I knew the temperature had dropped considerably.

"I suppose so," Iona opened the door and stepped to the side allowing me to walk into the flat.

"Thanks," I said rubbing my hands together.

Iona turned her back and walked into the living room. I couldn't help but let my eyes roam watching her butt wiggle as she walked. I stifled a groan as I followed her.

Iona sat in the chair and gestured for me to sit down on the couch. She clasped her hands on her lap and waited for me to start talking.

"Iona, I want to apologise for my behaviour the other day and making you think that I didn't want you or that you weren't good enough," I started as I looked down at my hands.

Iona sat there like a statue as I spoke. I glanced up at her and couldn't read what she was feeling. "I truly meant it when I apologised for the way I treated you when we first met. I know I was an i***t and now I want to right the damage that I have caused." I said looking straight at Iona.

"Please, stop. I can't listen to this again. I believe that you're sorry for your behaviour but I can't let my guard down again over another man. Please don't make this harder for either of us than what it has to be." Iona said standing and walking over to the window and looking out into the night.

I stand and walked over to where she was standing. I saw her back stiffen as I approached her. She had wrapped her arms around herself as she looked lost standing there. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and just hold her until she felt safe enough to let her guards down.

I was suddenly nervous as I raised my hands and placed them on her shoulders. I felt her shiver under my hands. My heart jumped with glee with the hope that she felt the same way that I did.

"Iona," I whispered as I breathed in the scent of her lemony shampoo. "I want you so much but I don't want to hurt you."

Iona suddenly moved from underneath my hands and moved to the other side of the coffee table putting space between us. I glanced at the table and noticed the flowers that I had sent her proudly displayed in the middle of the table.

"Please leave," Iona whispered.

I sighed as I moved towards her again. For every step I took towards her, she moved back a step. I ran my hands through my hair as I was getting frustrated with not having her fall at my feet. I have never had to chase a woman before as they tended to chase me. I was in new territory and it scared the living daylights out of me.

"OK, but this isn't over. I promise you that I will do everything to show you that you need and want me just as much as I need and want you," I said holding my hands up in surrender.

I move to walk past her when I heard a small gasp. I watched as she tried to control her emotions from showing. I walked to the door as I pulled my jacket on. I reached the door and turned to look at the woman I knew I couldn't live without. My breath caught as Iona had moved following me to the door. She was so close I just wanted to grab her into my embrace.

Iona moved closer to me as she reached for the door and opened it telling me that wordlessly that I was being dismissed. I sighed as I stepped back into the cold. I turned around and saw her eyes glassed over with tears. I groaned before grabbing her waist and pulling her into my arms and crushing my lips to hers.